Chronicle Of A Death We Can't Accept

nytimes.com:

For the first time in history, the actual presence of the dead at their own funerals has become optional, even undesirable, lest the body break the illusion of a cloudless celebration, spoil the meditative mood and reveal the truths about grief, life and death that our thinned-out ceremonies cannot bear.

A corpse is a stark reminder that human beings are inescapably embodied creatures, and that a life is the sum of what has been performed and spoken by the body -- a mixture of promises made and broken, deeds done and undone, joys evoked and pain inflicted.

Read the whole story: nytimes.com

Comments

[PhillyQuaker]

01:54 PM on 11/05/2009

Two Quaker brothers recently hand dug their father's grave at the Quaker Burial Ground, with their sweet mother seated, watching by the gravesite. It was a time for remembering their dear sweet Dad. I thought this was a very touching display of love.

[KIVPossum]

04:16 AM on 11/03/2009

Americans are afraid of death. This is why they have to embalm a body, seal it in a watertight casket, and put that in a concrete crypt (with a 100 year guarantee against leakage). Cover the casket in any way to pretend there isn't actually a box with a body underneath. They you are chased off while the gravediggers fill in the grave.

I had an opportunity to go to a village funeral a couple of weeks ago. The wooden coffin holding an unembalmed body was passed down through the mourners, so everyone helped carry the person to the grave. Then they stood while the grave was filled in. Much more rational approach. They did not want to see the person go, but realized they were actually dead and gone.

[USA2Sense]

01:24 AM on 11/03/2009

As far as I'm concerned - the people in this country (the U.S.) have lost all reverence for death.....just like they have lost all reverence for life...............

It's all become a game - with few - if any, rules............besides, doesn't television and the movies all show everyone being horribly mutilated and killed in unending vicious ways.......and then the next program shows the same person - up, and acting in another role......in another situation.....

It's the same thing - where countries go out and play war - everyone thinks they're invincible - and immortal..........sooner or later (and it's usually later - often too late) .....they learn Dead Is Dead!!!!!!!!!!

And life itself - has been either wasted or thrown away...........

[topkatnc]

09:12 AM on 11/03/2009

I agree with you about the movies....Kids just don't realize what death is....It is forever...And you have all the big time celebrites , going greeen, feed the children , etc, etc, etc...Don't get me wrong , there is nothing wrong with that....but , I wish they would take the time and clean up Hollywood...The movies , music and TV...stop showing the violence on women and children...You never hear one celebrity talking about any of that...I guess they just don't care....It would sure be nice if they did..........

[BlackYowe]

01:20 AM on 11/03/2009

Great piece of writing I could not agree more!