Rihanna "Embarrassed" She Went Back To Brown, Took "8 Or 9" Times To Leave (VIDEO)

(AP Text, ABC Video)

NEW YORK -- Rihanna said Thursday that she feels "embarrassed" for returning to ex-boyfriend Chris Brown after he beat her in April and warned other women struggling with domestic violence to not let themselves be blinded by love.

"It's completely normal to go back. You start lying to yourself," the 21-year-old singer said on "Good Morning America" in her first public comments following the beating. "I'll say that to any young girl who is going through domestic violence: 'Don't react off of love.'"

Brown, 20, was arrested Feb. 8, hours after he was accused of beating Rihanna after the couple attended a pre-Grammy Awards party. He later pleaded guilty to felony assault and a judge ordered Brown and Rihanna to stay away from each other.

In the interview, Rihanna said she was ashamed to return to Brown after the attack. "That's embarrassing - that's the type of person I fell in love with. So far in love, so unconditional, that I went back," she said. "That's not what I want to teach people."
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The attack occurred in Los Angeles' Hancock Park neighborhood as Brown drove a rented sports car. A Los Angeles police detective described a brutal attack in a search warrant affidavit filed in the case, stating Brown hit, choked and bit Rihanna and tried at one point to push her from the car. A photo of her bruised face was circulated on the Internet.

Rihanna said she soon realized that, as a role model to young women, her returning to Brown sent the wrong message. "When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I could not be held responsible for telling them, 'Go back.'"

Brown's career suffered after his arrest, with sponsors dropping him and radio stations refusing to play his music. Both he and Rihanna had to cancel several high-profile appearances, including planned performances at the Grammy Awards the day of the attack.

Brown has apologized to fans and has said he has repeatedly apologized to Rihanna for the attack.

In the interview Thursday, she said: "I am strong. This happened to me. I didn't cause this. I didn't do it. This can happen to me and it can happen to anybody."

ABC will air more chunks of the interview on Friday's "Good Morning America" and then Friday evening on the news magazine "20/20."

Rihanna's interview coincides with the debut of her new single, "Russian Roulette," from her upcoming album, "Rated R." It's her first CD since 2007's multiplatinum "Good Girl Gone Bad."

Comments

[cousinrt]

Women leave early and often when you are brave enough to argue with a man. Don't stay around. That should solve this Chris Brown type problem. The courts should make it a crime for any woman to stay with a man in an enclosed area if the man or woman is mad, upset or arguing. If it is later reported that they slept together that night they both should be fined a hundred dollars. Stop the excuses. Stop the violence. Demand that adults be adults all the time. We separate dogs when they cannot get along. Very often we decide to get rid of one or the other if the behavior continues. It disrupts our expectations. Make it a law to criminalize arguments between formerly in love PERSONS. Don’t have laws that penalize one or the other for not being the bigger person. That is a setup for the person we think should walk away. We never know the roots of a fight between lovers. What we hear may be part lie, part true. We know one thing "You look lovely in that ensemble today, just like an angle. Who would lie looking like that?”

[JDM73]

I gave up on trying to understand this phenomenon long ago. I had a friend who was in an abusive relationship and everyone who knew her--including me--begged her to leave the guy. Nothing worked. He abused her both verbally and physically, but she couldn't get enough of him. It was a sick, sad thing to behold.
"It's completely normal to go back"? No, it isn't. If you want to go back to someone after you've been abused, you're in desperate need of help.

[PhineasGage730]

I was not a fan of this girl when the story broke and she stuck with him. I thought she was a fool to outwardly forgive him even though everyone heard the horrible details... And as I clicked on this article I was sucking my teeth saying whatever. But just from the opening I changed. Nothing she said did it, it was that they mentioned she was 21. I realize as famous and wealthy as she may be, she is still a young girl. I think we forget that (I know I did). I'm still not a fan of hers, but I do feel sorry for her. And can understand why she went back. To be honest, older woman go back. I think the surprise was that someone famous went back. We are use to stars covering their butts. They have publicist that know how to play the game. I'm not saying she doesn't. But being so young, she probably didn't listen to anyone. She felt she loved him and that was it. Anyway, that's my take on it. I'm not saying forgive her...but then again, what the hell are we forgiving her for anyway. She did nothing wrong. If a woman gets her butt kicked and goes back, it's her business.

I don't see people mad at politician's wives that are humiliated and stay with their husband.

[wyldthings]

Please, She refused to testify against him and now comes out with a different story. Sorry no respect here.

[karen1p]

There are plenty of reasons people refuse to testify....hello? People won't acknowledge violence when it is happening in front of them on the streets of NYC. Perhaps fear? Perhaps emotions? Perhaps wanting it to just go away? Why do you think so many rap3 victims don't stand up. Look at this angry mob mentality. There you have your answer. Public judgement.

[wyldthings]

Karen1p, I certainly understand your point and I do agree that many women are held hostage to abuse. But this was a woman that was absolutely battered they had pictures right away, she admitted he abused her but would not testify. That is why I do not believe her honesty now. There is no mob mentality there is retrospected thought that wow no testimony that could have put this abuser in Jail and You and I both know he will continue these actions. So instead of stopping him she has enabled him to be free and continue that's what makes her wrong. But now her record is being released and all of a sudden she's outraged. Bull S***

[yeshe]

this is why she didn't have to testify .. best you think about your comments .. Rihanna did not have to be there for his plea hearings, but she WAS IN the courthouse on the day he pleaded guilty but not in court ...
From Wiki ... On March 5, 2009, Brown was charged with felony assault and making criminal threats.[50][51] He was arraigned on April 6, 2009, and pleaded not guilty to one count of assault and one count of making criminal threats.[52] On June 22, 2009, Brown pleaded guilty to a felony and accepted a plea deal of community labor and five years' formal probation

[PhineasGage730]

She doesn't need your respect. She's a 21 year old girl. I've seen young people (and old) do worse. So you hate her for not taking the stand. Ok.

[yeshe]

I thought the reason she did not testify was because he pleaded guilty and pleaded it out -- and only because she WAS going to take the stand against him -- it all happened in the last minutes and she was at the courthouse to give evidence but was not required after his plea ... this is a brave young woman who is very lucky she is not dead.

[balancedsolution]

Love sometimes hurts...but it isn't supposed to leave bruises.

[CAmbiguous]

I love that Rihanna is speaking out now. I'm so impressed how she chose to be selfless and leave CB (I won't even say his name..) She's grown and is turning out to be a great role model for young women today.

I love the RIHANNA AMBER ALERT called out on her; back when this happened. It was great foreshadowing of her today! You should definitely check it out!

http://concretelyambiguous.com/truth-in-photo/powder-blue-bowties-bull-a-rihanna-amber-alert/

[ForVicki]

Initially, Rhiana was completely against becoming a voice for domestic violence, why now? This was wrapped up in the courts how many months ago? I truly feel sorry for both of these young people, the media and the music industry are in the back room working the calculator, not assessing the damage.
I found Rhianna's eye contact a little disturbing, not to mention the fact, she had to read what others were saying about her before she could make her decision, something's wrong here.

I wish both well, they are young, with their lives ahead of them, and should move forward, they both made mistakes.

[khanti]

It depends on her defination of 'unconditional' love.

[BetterDeadThanRed09]

Men all rally around other men and support them in situations like this, and woman try to justify and defend men as well (I’m talking about those women I’ve seen post that they would let Chris Brown beat them too if they could hit it or that he is so cute and therefore would never have hurt her unless she deserved it).

But when it is a controversy around a woman, the men out there don’t try to protect her or stand up for her, and other women – who should be empathizing with her and her biggest supporters – are the first in line to try to cut her down because of jealousy or their own low self-esteem or self-hate. SMDH.

Where is the love for this young, vulnerable, and probably VERY CONFUSED girl?! It seems pretty clear she still loves him and probably doesn’t understand why but she is trying her hardest to be strong. How can you help but feel for her and pray for her?

People speculate about how it was a mutual fight, or how her “dark” thing had nothing to do with Chris or how she is a violent person. HOW DO YOU KNOW? The only thing we know for sure is that she looked like Chris took a meat tenderizer to her face in those pictures. That is ALL WE KNOW. Don’t try to justify your own terrible feelings of animosity towards this victim of abuse by making things up.

[thinkb4uleapII]

You make some excellent points. I feel compassion for Rhianna and Chris, especially because they are both young and confused and still have much to learn about life (don't we all). This incident is likely to leave an indelible mark (no pun intended) on their lives and careers. I pray peace, harmony and maturity for both of them and wish them happiness and success in all aspects of their lives.

[imk]

She doesn't have to talk about her experience. she's doing it to help girls avoid this type of situation or get out of abusive relationship. Chris has had plenty of opportunities to voice his side. I'm proud of her for doing this interview.

[LittleSanityLeft]

Here's a tip for women looking to avoid violence. If your man has a proven history of violence and you're having an argument with him, throwing the keys of his Maserati out the window of his car is NOT the way to avoid a violent confrontation.

[trinity29]

The difference between humans and animals in the most rudimentary form is that we can control our rawest form of emotions in order to live in a civilized society. Under no condition does anyone have the right to put their hands on another person no matter how provoked they might have felt at the moment. There was bad judgement all around, yes, but there should be no reason to hurt another human being the way Rihanna was hurt when she clearly did not inflict any amount of violence that can be seen as equally damaging to which he was reacting. If he has apologized for it, then there is no reason to continue defending him. Because in defending an abusive behavior, you have turned it on the victim and said that because she threw the keys away, somehow that justified his behavior. Research shows, that abusers will go off the handle for whatever it is that they see is undesirable. So if it wasn't the key throwing, it would have been something else. The issue is not throwing away the key. The issue is thinking you have the right to beat another human being when you are angry.

[karen1p]

Right, because throwing out his keys means that you should be beat so that your face is black and blue.

WRONG!

[Turtleluv6]

This girl needs help and needs to take some responsibility for her actions in the situation. She provoked him and struck him first. Now everyone wants to blame Chris and give her the title of victim no matter what she says and does I do not consider her a role model but if others want to then so be it. But a woman who chooses to sneak around with married men is not someone I want my kids looking at or listening too. uuuuuummmmmmm no. This girl is an embarrassment and is no role model in my book.

[BetterDeadThanRed09]

D0mestic v.!.0.l.e.nc.e is a real problem and until you live it, you cant really know how bad it is.

Rihanna does have an impact on young girls, and the fact that she speak now, is better than to never address her fans on this issue.

[FabulousAt52]

D0mestic v.!.0.l.e.nc.e is a real problem and until you live it, you cant really know how bad it is.

Bullshit. Doctors do not have to have cancer to know how it works and how to treat it.
Psychologists do not have to have a mental illness to understand it and treat it.
Educated people who seek the knowledge can indeed know EXACTLY how 'bad' and
horrible it can be to live with domestic violence and abuse of any kind... without living it themselves. To say otherwise is a cop-out.

This was not classic "domestic violence". This was an argument that got waaay out of control on both their parts. If a man and a woman in a bar start arguing and fighting and verbally or physically abusing each other, is THAT domestic violence too?

* Domestic violence * is the culmination of many factors of systematic control, a pattern of misplaced anger and physical abuse. Not every argument or sudden fight is "domestic violence" even if the two people involved are sleeping together or boyfriend and girlfriend...
and it still doesn't excuse Rihanna from HER actions leading up to CB's actions (for which he will pay for a long, long time, if not forever).

[angelv]

I thought that was Vanessa Williams

[tantan75]

I feel for both of them oddly. I feel for Rihanna as a victim obviously. But, also for Chris because of his celebrity this incident will probably define his life. I can't imagine if the worst decision I've ever made was thrown in my face everytime I went to a job interview or whatever. What Chris did was horrible, and criminal. He will be punished. But this will follow him forever no matter what he does. Same thing for Rihanna. No matter what charity she wants to publicize, THIS will always be hanging over her head. Unfortunately, because of their celebrity status, they will not be allowed to process and move on like a normal person. Because people are so caught up in the whole "role model" syndrome, and everything that comes with that. They have to live their life for themselves, not for some abstract concept that your daughter might pick up while watching MTV.

[Seriously Mcmillan]

Very good summary. I feel for them both as well. Yet, in this society, when it comes to being a celebrity, no matter how inappropriate it is to look up to them...We know someone is doing just that.

I think CB and Rihanna DO have a responsibility to use their platform and status for calling attention to social issues they find themselves a part of.

Most celebrity uses their status to promote something, even if it's just themselves. George Clooney used his celebrity status to call attention to Darfur and so on, so why doesn't Rihanna now embrace this new "fame" for this situation and donate money to shelters or do a PSA. Same for Chris Brown. How would it hurt them now?

Rihanna and her camp chose now, just shy of releasing a new album [they don't say album anymore, do they?] to speak out. Great timing on the publicity. Can't fault them for killing two birds with one stone.

http://shesoghetto.wordpress.com

[Gasparilla]

I don't get the people who are always criticizing her. .

[BetterDeadThanRed09]

Most of them are just blinded by their own ignorance I guess they love abusers.

[CalmOcean]

stating the facts, and wanting rihanna to be held accountable for her actions is not re-victimizing the victim. if you are going to present yourself as a spokesperson for a cause, i believe you should be honest about all of the facts. there is a lesson for us all in each of their behaviours. keep your hands to yourself and if you cannot communicate verbally in a respectful manner - walk away - whether you be male or female!

[FabulousAt52]

Well said!

[karen1p]

Glad you know everything that went on between them. You sound like an expert who was there. And there is no behavior that justifies making anyone's face black and blue. NOTHING.