Glenn Beck Gives "Amazing" Marxists His Appendix

On last night's Daily Show, Jon Stewart laid out his take on the terrifying Glenn Beck Appendectomy Conspiracy, RAISING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS over how maybe it was all "a plot by Hitler to steal Glenn Beck from all of us internal organ by internal organ by internal organ and then reprogram him to use as a weapon." But maybe Stewart was only scratching the surface of this conspiracy! Let's all RAISE SOME QUESTIONS over whether or not actual Marxists were, in fact, rooting around inside Glenn Beck's body and mind.

Yesterday morning, Glenn Beck communicated with the world, in his patented Pidgin Twitter, saying:

Nvr a gdnight sleep in the hospital but always easier w/family, prayers and AMAZING drs/nurses. They didn't even cut off my feet!!

Amazing nurses, eh? Amazingly anti-American, maybe! Alexander Zaitchik is RAISING SUSPICIONS:

The quality of care he is receiving should not have come as a surprise. When Beck complained of acute abdominal pain during his radio program on Wednesday, he was rushed to a nearby hospital. The security-conscious Beck has not disclosed the name of the facility, but it's a safe bet that it is staffed by proud members of a storied union: New York's Local 1199, aka United Healthcare Workers East, which belongs to the Service Employees International Union. The SEIU has organized all of Manhattan's major hospitals, including every facility to which Beck could have conceivably been sent.

It probably has not occurred to Beck to link his kind, efficient nurses to something as dastardly as the SEIU. As recently as Wednesday, he was busy smearing the union with his usual verbal feces. For the past several months, on radio and television, Beck has cast the SEIU, the country's largest union, as a Toxic Avenger-looking bogeyman in his conspiratorial fantasyland. In the progressive plot of Beck's imagination, the "radical, Marxist" SEIU is conspiring with ACORN "thugs" to destroy the freedoms guaranteed by the U.S. Constitution and turn this country into North Korea--or worse.

Now, I don't know if the "amazing nurses" that tended to Glenn Beck were SEIU members or not. But the following infotaining factoid simply can not be ignored! No one has been inside the Obama White House more than SEIU prexy Andy Stern. Now, Andy Stern has, through Marxist nurse proxies, gained access inside Glenn Beck's body! WHAT DOES ACORN WANT WITH GLENN BECK'S PRECIOUS BODILY FLUIDS?

Later that same morning, Beck tweeted: "I just realized my tonsils are missing. Man, I wish I were as rich as M. Moore i could've had some of that sweet Castro Care he loves." But, Glenn Beck is as rich as Michael Moore! Or at least he was, before he received sweet Castro Care, from Maoist nurses that he now refers to as -- AND I QUOTE -- "AMAZING."

All right, here's the kicker. Do you know the name of the planet on which all of this occurred? Give up? IT WAS EARTH!!

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Comments

[JazzyJim]

06:04 PM on 11/18/2009

When you think of Beck - you can't help but think of Heath Care Reform and how badly he needs it.

[lastpost]

07:59 AM on 11/11/2009

A Fox spokesperson has confirmed that the appendix is expected to make a full recovery. And go on to live a happy, healthy and productive life. Sadly, there is very little hope for the donor.

[Fank Rosebud]

02:54 PM on 11/10/2009

You socialist-marxist progressives post your comments constantly trashing Glenn Beck; but think about it; Glenn Beck didn't trash anyone. All of his material is on video and recordings where these yo-yo's trash themselves. For example, Acorn wanted to set up 12 - 13 year old prostitutes from Central America to work in the USA. I bet the progressive politicians thought this was a wonderful idea. When hearing about the young ladies they probably asked, "Will the girls clear at least minimum wage?"

[circlehook]

08:20 AM on 11/10/2009

As a moderate I would really enjoy an honest debate on policy positions. I have only watched GB's show a few times but I don't recall that he attacks people personally as you have done here. If you wish to become rich as GB is then do some research and prove his statements wrong and put his agenda up on a chalkboard. That would be interesting to me. Regarding the nurses, that is really a weak point. As former member of UAW Local 1892, I know what a closed shop is, you do not.

[RedTruck]

08:32 AM on 11/09/2009

Everyone should take the time to listen/watch Beck - he maintains an incredible research team - check out the results - believe it or not (IT IS STILL A FREE COUNTRY) - knowledge is power.
May Beck return to perfect health and stay on track in his desire to keep our country free!!!

[Politisizer]

02:10 PM on 11/08/2009

Glenn will pronounce his hospital visit as a showcase for 'the best healthcare system in the world'. An amazing turnaround from the hellhole he described the healthcare system to be about 18 months ago....

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVU1qvMqk3g

[guitargeorge1964]

12:24 PM on 11/08/2009

I see... It all makes sense...now...

[noamjunior]

12:09 PM on 11/08/2009

while it has been long thought that the appendix was a vestigial organ, new evidence suggests it helps the digestive tract recover more quickly after food poisoning. The appendix lost much of its necessity after improvements in water quality and sanitation. Good luck Mr Beck- May you make a full recovery and get back to broadcasting your nonsense on the Fox "news"(sic) Chanel.

[slyham166]

09:48 AM on 11/08/2009

Hate to wish bad on anyone however calling the President a Racist gives me pause.God doesn't like ugly behavior. I wish Beck would explain what the "White Culture" is before he leaves us.

[clevomon]

08:39 AM on 11/08/2009

Mr. Linkis, you are no Jon Stewart. Unfortunately, your sarcasm veers off so often that I lose track of your train of thought, and with it, sadly, your point.

[clevomon]

08:44 AM on 11/08/2009

Linkins, my bad. But my complaint still stands.

[okila]

09:03 PM on 11/07/2009

Leave Glenn Beck alone!!!! (Pause for application of vapo rub followed by crying)

[Vetinari]

12:57 AM on 11/08/2009

What you are saying is that you don't want people to attack Beck in the same way that... Beck attacks the poor, the sick and the unemployed...

[Elyriaohio]

06:37 AM on 11/08/2009

It was sarcasm.

[acwilliams]

04:34 PM on 11/07/2009

Why don't you have a tab for how your feeling that says 'Sickened'? It's completely unbelievable that you would take pot shots at someone recovering from a serious health issue that required surgery. Would you go home and teach your children that it's okay to do that? Would you make jokes at a person who is physically disabled because thier political beliefs are not the same as your own? That's what you're promoting. I may not agree with all of our presidents policies, but if the guy was put into a hospital because he was suffering from appendicitis and had to have an appendectomy, I would never wish ill on him. And I wouldn't make jokes. We're all people, human beings, and if you're trying to get your point across that you think all people have a 'right' to have free health care then stand up for what you believe in. Make noise. That's fine. Show them facts, fight for your cause. But for goodness sake, fight clean. Why resort to name calling and attacking people personally? Is that all you have left? It makes you look like a schoolyard bully. That's all. It certainly doesn't help you look educated.

[EF3]

06:11 PM on 11/07/2009

If this was a stroke or cancer, Jon Stewart wouldn't have touched it. He didn't say anything about Robert Novack's plight when he was diagnosed with a brain tumor. But since this was just Glenn Beck's appendix, and that he's going to make a full recovery, he's fair game. So deal with it!

[StephenBP]

06:13 PM on 11/07/2009

I get it! You are, like, the guy who did the video asking people to stop picking on Britney Spears, right?

[BlackJAC]

06:38 PM on 11/07/2009

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiuRhy4CqzU

[NotStarvingArtist]

03:51 PM on 11/07/2009

How sure are we that Glen Beck had his appendix out? We only have his and Fox's word for it. Maybe he just went into rehab on the down-low or checked himself into a psychiatric hospital for some much needed therapy. One can only hope!

[Eykis]

05:26 PM on 11/07/2009

I've said that since I first heard the appendix story on Thursday. It is a cover-up.

[BlackJAC]

06:58 PM on 11/07/2009

I suspect it's another impacted gerbil being removed.

[miriamfl]

09:04 AM on 11/07/2009

Beck is the sL!!lme of the earth and unfortunately he would up at our footsteps. Just almost 2 years ago he made a videio about his terrible experience in one of our US hospitals, what a fake teabagger.

[a270]

08:50 AM on 11/07/2009

the problem with unions is they are mandatory. Same with many aspects of the democrat HCR moving thru congress.

Anyway, I think the left should lighten up on Glenn. Those quotes from Beck about not losing his feet and missing his tonsiles was good humor.

[Osusuki]

09:21 AM on 11/07/2009

Yeah, funny as a crutch!

[Eykis]

05:27 PM on 11/07/2009

a270, why are you still here.


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