I.R. Smallwood, 81-Year-Old Georgia Man, Tried To Burn 35-Year-Old Girlfriend With Gasoline

WSB Atlanta:

An 81-year-old man will undergo a mental evaluation after he allegedly tried to set his 35-year-old girlfriend on fire but instead burned his house down.

Read the whole story: WSB Atlanta

Comments

[westreal]

08:30 AM on 11/20/2009

He looks great for 81. Looks like he's 51.

[timetorevolt]

09:08 AM on 11/20/2009

A visit to an optometris­t might change opinion..

[CherrySpring]

08:27 AM on 11/20/2009

Nothing like the story of a man trying to burn his girlfriend alive to bring out the comedians.­..

[av10]

07:45 AM on 11/20/2009

She probably wanted to leave him for an older and more mature guy.

[Soundwave]

07:28 AM on 11/20/2009

Flames of passion is usually just a metaphor..­.

[wonder6789]

07:23 AM on 11/20/2009

There go his chances to be the new face of the GOP. ...or maybe not?

[TheBaffler]

05:51 AM on 11/20/2009

That's hot. Almost.

[DallasDon]

05:37 AM on 11/20/2009

I believe Mr. Smallwood had been carrying a torch for her, an old flame really, and had a burning desire for her that could not be quenched. He poured out his heart, hoping to spark a romance that would ignite a flame within her. He offered her hearth and (mobile) home; He offered her warmth, light against darkness and heat to chase away the cold.

His love for her was fueled by high octane adoration that was indeed combustibl­e. His unquenchab­le affection burst forth, engulfing everything as the spark between them lit up the living room with a hellish roar. At least for one brief, shining moment they experience­d fireworks the likes of which so few do.

The fire burning deep within him ruined his home on wheels and left his dreams in ashes, like so much charred rubbish. As she sought the fire exit of their relationsh­ip he realized he could not rekindle an old flame; The dying embers of his love left smoldering at his feet. He knew he'd be going to a much colder place as the icy cuffs circled his wrists. He was going to be put on ice for awhile, he'll now be know as U R Smallwood.

She obviously lit his match and sparked his all-consum­ing, fiery passion. His love glowed like the noon-day sun, nothing could extinguish his burning desire for her. He learned that which burns brightest soon flames-out­.

Alas..... She fell into a burning ring of fire.

[Cambridge9]

07:45 AM on 11/20/2009

If the story wasn't so 'hellish' your comments would be funny. Alas, you are making fun of what what was, in fact, attempted murder.

[jessicajuliette]

01:06 AM on 11/21/2009

"come on baby, light my fire

our love become a funeral pyre"

try to set the night on fire"

The Doors..

yours was original, and very funny...

[chatoyant vermilion]

03:24 AM on 11/20/2009

This just goes to show that you should stick to people your own age when dating. Shame on her. (grin)

[JustinAddison]

02:44 AM on 11/20/2009

So pretending to be a crazy old man's girlfriend in exchange for drug money can be dangerous? Mental note on that.

[ifitwereme]

02:46 AM on 11/20/2009

this was a funny post I hate you for thinking of it first.

[KIVPossum]

02:42 AM on 11/20/2009

Gasoline is not the best choice. I'd go with #2 fuel oil mixed with used motor oil. Also best to burn your girlfriend­s away from the house, preferably in an area cleared of all other combustibl­e materials. And be sure to check outdoor burning schedules before you light the fire. Keep a garden hose handy.

[hackerblaster]

05:11 AM on 11/20/2009

ROFL!

[hottingers]

01:10 AM on 11/20/2009

He would have set her on fire but he had to go to the bathroom first. When he came out 30 minutes later she was gone.

[ifitwereme]

12:50 AM on 11/20/2009

if it were an 81 year old woman trying to burn a 35 year old man you'd all be saying the same ...oh nevermind.

[evil goat]

12:32 AM on 11/20/2009

Sorry, if you want to burn a woman alive and face no consequenc­es, you're going to have to move to afghanista­n.

[Paula Ann]

01:58 AM on 11/20/2009

all the more pitiful is that in afghanista­n, the women burn themselves as they see no other way to escape their abusive home lifes

[sheaintsayin]

11:29 PM on 11/19/2009

...er

[KO4Pres]

11:28 PM on 11/19/2009

SmallW00d.­........no wonder he's piS$$ed!