Alberto Gonzales Inspiring Students To Consider A Future In Cronyism

In case you were wondering what former U.S. Attorney General Alberto Gonzales has been up to lately -- I mean besides not getting hired by any law firm, ever -- well, wonder no more! He's been at Texas Tech, teaching a special "political science class on the Executive Branch," which is sort of like getting an omelette to teach a special physics class on the structural integrity of eggshells. From that perch, Gonzo has been straight up inspiring the youth of the nation, based on those few memories of his time in the Bush administration that he would not be committing perjury to attest to remembering.

ThinkProgress's Matt Corley has Gonzales's inspiring valediction:

"Dream big but be patient," he said. "You never know when the next George W. Bush is going to come along and give you a once in a lifetime opportunity like he gave me, but you have to be patient."

So there you have it! Reach for the stars, kids, and hopefully, you too will eventually find yourself in some sort of crony network!

I'm guessing that any students who stood on their desks to recite "O Captain! My Captain!" had a hood forced over their heads and their testicles immediately fitted with electrodes.

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Comments

[Readbetweentheelevens]

03:07 PM on 12/31/2009

Leaping and creeping!

[ObamAtomic]

11:52 PM on 12/08/2009

"Dream big but be patient," he said. "You never know when the next George W. Bush is going to come along and give you a once in a lifetime opportunity like he gave me, but you have to be patient."

"Be patient is only once a lifetime opportunity when you have the chance to become a War Criminal.
Be patient only one chance you have to repeat countless time "I do not recall"
Be patient only one chance to weep when you are reunited with your former leader.
Be patient ,save all the money you can because you will be out of work in your profession for ever.

[Firbolg]

09:53 AM on 12/01/2009

Is it true that most of the questions on the multiple choice tests he sets includes the answer "I don't recall"?

[BUSTERtheCAT]

08:49 AM on 12/01/2009

and why isnt this joker in the CLINK?

[annie g]

07:22 AM on 12/01/2009

Never thought I would hear the word inspiring and Gonzales in the same sentence. Uninspiring or liar or disrespectful to our Constitution comes to mind. Are we that desperate for professors that Gonzales would be even remotely qualified to teach a political science class? Please.

[rissole]

11:19 PM on 11/30/2009

WAR CRIMINAL!!!!!!!!

[Norak]

10:50 PM on 11/30/2009

Alberto Gonzalez is " teaching a special "political science class on the Executive Branch," which is sort of like getting an omelette to teach a special physics class on the structural integrity of eggshells."

Jason, it's throwaways like this priceless phrase that keep me coming back to your blog to see what your fertile mind has come up with now. Thanks for the laugh.

[Smithn]

10:38 PM on 11/30/2009

Another dandy example of the convoluted educational system in Texas. What's the word for reverse secession? Whatever it is, count me as an 'aye' vote just a s soon as we get back the stimulus money they took after saying it wouldn't work in a state that wants to secede! Yep, convoluted -- that's Texas!

[ranchero42]

10:13 PM on 11/30/2009

Still not believing calling him "Fredo" was ever meant to be ironic or indicative of Bush's mental lapses.

Ain't I a stinker?

[hippie4ever]

09:24 PM on 11/30/2009

This is outrageous -- the man enabled war crimes in his role as Attorney General. He raped the U.S. Constitution and is teaching at Texas Tech. This illustrates why the rest of the world does not take the current American government seriously. It is why Obama failed during his recent trip to China. He is a paper tiger.

[Jesster]

08:17 PM on 11/30/2009

Two questions:

Which illustrative institution of higher education invited Mr. Gonzales to be their commencement speaker?

What kind of enrollment does the former AG's class have?