Teabaggers To Fake Death In Senate Offices

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

In case you haven't heard, the latest spectacle that Tea Party protesters are planning is a massive performance art piece that will be coming soon to the halls of the Senate office buildings, presumably because they missed the deadline for the 2010 Whitney Biennial.

So here's the plan. On Tuesday, December 15 at 8:45 AM thousands of us will meet in Washington, DC at the fountain in Upper Senate Park. From there we will march to the Senate offices, go inside, and demonstrate our opposition to the government takeover of health care. We call this plan "Government Waiting Rooms". The intention is to go inside the Senate offices and hallways, and play out the role of patients waiting for treatment in government controlled medical facilities. As the day goes on some of us will pretend to die from our untreated illnesses and collapse on the floor. Many of us plan to stay there until they force us to leave. A backup location for this demonstration will be announced if they block us from entering the offices.

I'd better see a high degree of detail and exacting verisimilitude, people. If you're going to pretend to go into end-stage renal failure outside the offices of Kirsten Gillibrand, you'd better browse WebMD and read up on sepsis and "flank pain." Rehearse your performance, and warm up your voice for all the moaning you'll be doing. Breathe from your diaphragm: I cannot stress this enough! And extra points to anyone who goes the extra mile and gets into some of that deep medical obscuriana that you see on House, M.D..

Of course, the irony of going to Congress to stage the August: Osage County of health care rationing and treatment denials is that you'll be accurately depicting the current conditions of health care in the United States, where people are already dying at a brisk clip. So, look for Health Care For America Now to put out a press release saying, "Thanks, Tea Partiers, for proving our point for us!"

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