Help Us Raise Money To Save America, Destroy The Opposition -- Pick The Political Player Behind The Solicitation (QUIZ)

03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Dear fellow American/patriot/taxpayer, are you worried about the survival of the country, Harry Reid's selfish ways, partisan muck, career politicians, the unthinkable consequences of the climate crisis and the assault on our values?

Well, send a check for $25, $50, $100, $250 to _______________________ to demonstrate your passionate opposition, refocus policy on the conservative values on which the country was built, fight back against baseless attacks from right-wing activists, stop ObamaCare, help America lead the way on climate protection and defend life.

It's that time of year again. While your own New Year's resolutions may consist of losing weight, balancing your checkbook or finding a job, members of Congress want you to share their more ambitious goals. Lawmakers from John McCain to Chris Dodd, along with various political action committees, are flooding inboxes with end-of-the-year solicitations that rely on melodramatic prose warning of a veritable apocalypse if their opponents prevail.

So, we've assembled a multiple choice quiz in which excerpts of various solicitations are listed, alongside a list of their potential authors. Match the political player with the fundraising letter: Good luck!*

1. In just one year, liberals have altered the course of this country so dramatically that current U.S. policy is almost unrecognizable from the conservative values on which we built this country.

America cannot survive on this new course.

2. He'll lose the power he covets and his ability to do any more damage to America's taxpayers.

3. Obama's win at any cost policy using payoffs and threats will not let any Democrat prevent them from the forcible rape of America with Socialized Health Care.

4. When I see decisions that I disagree with, I offer criticism. Yes, I can be passionate in my opposition but I always try to ensure that it is loyal, civil and construction opposition.

5. This is an important moment and we must demonstrate to my opponents and the special interests and right-wing activists who fund their campaigns that we'll be ready to fight back against every baseless attack, every distortion and every assault on our values.

6. To put it bluntly, we are running out of time to act. We must succeed next year, because the alternative is unacceptable... I know you understand what is at stake. I need to know that I can count on you to help us overcome the tall odds we face.

7. Won't you help our push back against Washington D.C.'s insider lobbyists?

8. With the right-wing fringe running the Republican Party these days, you know they will pull out the Karl Rove playbook next year.

9. Make no mistake about it: ...special interests are going after Main Street America... And, they have engaged in some of the worst demagoguery and destructive rhetoric America has seen in decades.

10. But if you think this debate was heated, just wait.

The battlefield now shifts from health care to the 2010 elections, and our opponents have never been more united, angry, and flush with cash. We must match their every dollar to combat their lies.

11. Even more scary was knowing this country was one faulty detonator away from an American airliner being blown out of the sky. Remember right after the inauguration, it was revealed President Obama no longer wanted to acknowledge the "global war on terror" and referred to terrorist acts as "man-made disasters"? Back then you and I knew that showed a remarkable lack of understanding of the threat America faced but in the face of what nearly happened a couple days, it is even more infuriating.

And here are the options:

A. Sen. John McCain
B. Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee
C. Al Gore
D. Rep. Pete Sessions
E. Sen. Chris Dodd
F. Sue Lowden for U.S. Senate
G. National Republican Senatorial Committee
H. Public Campaign
I. House Majority Leader Harry Reid
J. General Wesley Clark/Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee
K. AmeriPAC

*Check back later for the answers!

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