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Unemployed Women Selling Their Wedding Rings On Craigslist

Craigring

First Posted: 05/12/10 06:12 AM ET Updated: 05/25/11 04:50 PM ET

Since her fiancé passed away in 2004, Victoria Crass, a 39-year old mother of three from Surprise, Arizona, has hung onto the 1.1-carat oval diamond engagement ring he gave her when he proposed. But when she lost her job last year and eviction loomed, Crass felt she had to decide between keeping the ring and supporting her three children.

"I don't want to sell my ring, seeing as how it means so much to me, since my fiancé is no longer with me," Crass told HuffPost. "But Alexandrea, my 13-year-old, needs braces and glasses. She's been complaining because she can't see the board at school. I've been trying to sell the ring for a year, but people want to offer me so little for it. It's worth at least seven thousand, and I'm offering it for $2,800. The sentimental value is just too much to let it go for pennies."

To sell the ring, Crass went to Craigslist. Here's how she pitched it: "I am selling a gorgeous engagement ring.... It has a ton of sentimental value, but just can't afford to keep it right now. I really hate to get rid of this ring but the economy has left me no choice.... It's a really beautiful ring and you have to see it to appreciate it. Please respond, only if you are serious!!"

There are thousands of ads on Craigslist for things like used appliances, furniture, and cars from people who need a little quick cash to get by, with the seller frequently revealing a glimpse of the problems necessitating the sale. For upfront desperation, few ads are more poignant than the ones for wedding or engagement rings from people in financial straits. When contacted by HuffPost, sellers typically said they posted their ads in an effort to take care of their children.

"It is a big sacrifice but what else am I suppose to do at this point?" emailed one woman whose ad said she was "beyond sad that I have to sell this but bills need to be paid somehow." The woman was not interested in sharing her name.

"It is really the only thing I have that is worth anything and of course I do not want to sell it but tough times call for tough decisions," she wrote. "My son is who I need to look out for and when you put it in perspective it is only a material item and although I still have emotional ties with it it really comes down to what is more important. We are losing our home and where are we suppose[d] to go? This ring is hopefully a little lifeline to get into a place so we can have a roof over our heads. This is why I am trying to sell my ring on craigslist and yes it breaks my heart but hearts mend right?"

A single mom named Liz Dunda, a 44-year-old in Milan, Md., also put a ring up on Craigslist for her kids' sake. She told HuffPost she needed money to make the bathroom accessible for her handicapped son.

"I used to lift him into the bathroom, but he's 15 now and weighs as much as I do," Dunda said. "He has to shower at my parents' house. We can't fit the wheelchair into the bathroom."

Dunda works in a law office as a legal assistant, but she says her health insurance doesn't cover wheelchairs, and she can't afford a better policy to cover her son. "My son is now on a Medicaid waiver that covers medical, but they came to visit my home and explained to me that I had to hire an architect to redesign the room and that I had to pay 40 percent of the cost up front. They told me to get a second mortgage. I couldn't do it, so we're struggling and selling things to make it work."

In addition to her wedding ring, Dunn also sold her bed and exercise equipment on Craiglist to pay for a handicap-accessible van.

"The government said they would install a lift in the van if it was less than a year old," Dunda told HuffPost. "I was trying to hold onto the wedding ring for emergencies, but if I don't sell it now, my son has no way of getting around."

Sometimes the ring is the absolute last thing to go. Michele Rok of Grove City, Ohio, told HuffPost she sold her freezer, her stove and a number of other appliances on Craigslist before finally having to sell the wedding ring she was planning to pass on to her daughter.

"I've had to sell things like you wouldn't believe throughout the year just to maintain," Rok said. "I've mainly been selling appliances to help with rent and utility bills. I just listed the ring last week for the first time, because I need to have surgery on my back.

Rok said she has an accounting degree and several years of mid-level management experience at Deloitte and KPMG in New York, but she had to leave her job about a year ago and return to Ohio to take care of her sick mother. By the time she started looking for work again, the recession was in full swing, and she lost her house and was unable to find a job.

She said: "When I first came here and realized the situation that was happening, I actually worked for a major builder cleaning newly constructed homes, but was making less than I am now making on unemployment. I'm constantly searching Craigslist or Monster or Hot Jobs for any opportunity I can find, but they don't want to give someone my age a job."

Although Rok's ring has still had no takers, she says that the ability to sell her jewelry and appliances online, even when the items have sentimental value, has been a lifesaver for her. "The people that bought my freezer, those people are miracles to me because they helped me pay my gas bill and my rent. People talk a lot of bad stuff about Craigslist, but it does have the ability to help people."

Victoria Crass in Arizona said that, after she lost a fairly lucrative job as a loan officer in 2008, she and her three children were evicted from their house. Her autistic son, who was 16 at the time, was personally served the eviction notice. "He was completely freaking out," she said.

Crass claims that she has since had to home-school him so he wouldn't have to worry about getting picked on because she can no longer afford to buy him clothes or school supplies.

"I couldn't even afford to get him pants," Crass said. "High school kids can be so cruel -- he was coming home with bruises. Your kids expect you to be able to pay for everything, you know -- food, clothes. But I'm a 40-year-old, unemployed single mom. It's not easy."


Arthur Delaney contributed to this report.

HuffPost readers: Seen a compelling local story? Have a neighbor going to bizarre lengths to get through the recession? Tell us about it! Email lbassett@huffingtonpost.com.

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Since her fiancé passed away in 2004, Victoria Crass, a 39-year old mother of three from Surprise, Arizona, has hung onto the 1.1-carat oval diamond engagement ring he gave her when he proposed. But ...
Since her fiancé passed away in 2004, Victoria Crass, a 39-year old mother of three from Surprise, Arizona, has hung onto the 1.1-carat oval diamond engagement ring he gave her when he proposed. But ...
 
 
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03:36 AM on 04/28/2010
My brother sold my mom's wedding rings, so he wouldn't be out-of-pocket for any of her prescription expenses. He has two houses, +.

Of course, this was completely unnecessary, since mom's medicare and medicaid covered 100% of all her prescriptions and med care.

He didn't tell anyone, never discussed it - no one else had a clue until years later. We (mistakenly) trusted him. My mom never knew - since he put her in a home and let them drug her into oblivion (over my protests.). And she paid for it - unbeknownst- with her own wedding rings.

When the drugs nearly killed her, my brother FINALLY surrendered her to me - I have been nursing her back to some semblance of health ever since (2003+)

I'm still confounded by what motivated my brother to insist on caring for her, and then abandoning her, while (illegally, as it turned out) barring anyone else from helping. She didn't even have any assets.

And she'd held onto that ring through all kinds of bad times - only to have her son sell it for no good reason.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Palaver
Men make laws, but the people follow custom.
11:34 AM on 03/16/2010
Too bad they couldn't sell their husbands. :P
03:39 AM on 03/16/2010
A good idea would be to not spend $7000 dollars on a wedding ring in the first instance.
11:21 AM on 03/18/2010
I thought that I had read that her husband, who passed in 2004 was the one who bought her that ring when he asked her to marry him because he loved her.

I'm thinking 6 years later, he may have made a different decision seeing what would happen to her and his children.
03:37 AM on 04/28/2010
I bet he'd be glad to hear she had it to sell when she needed the money for their kids.
09:31 PM on 03/14/2010
Over 30 yrs. ago, I almost replaced the diamond in my aunt's engagement ring I had inherited and worn, with a cubic zirconia stone so that I could sell the diamond for needed cash. I'm so glad it didn't come down to the situation where I absolutely had to do that. I'm so sorry that the women in the article had to.
06:54 PM on 03/14/2010
Social Security to start cashing Uncle Sam's IOUs
Tags:

* ECONOMY
* TAXES

Sounds like a good time to start tapping the nest egg. Too bad the federal government already spent that money over the years on other programs, preferring to borrow from Social Security rather than foreign creditors. In return, the Treasury Department issued a stack of IOUs — in the form of Treasury bonds — which are kept in a nondescript office building just down the street from Parkersburg's municipal offices.

Now the government will have to borrow even more money, much of it abroad, to start paying back the IOUs, and the timing couldn't be worse. The government is projected to post a record $1.5 trillion budget deficit this year, followed by trillion dollar deficits for years to come.
Webmaster's Commentary:

Back in the 1990s, I pointed out this was happening and that it would not end well for the taxpayer. And I recall that the very same paid internet shills who today insist the world really is getting warmer and that Saddam really did have nuclear weapons were back then saying that it really was perfectly okay for Clinton to loot Social Security to make up his "budget surplus."

"Gee, I hate being right all the time!" -- Malcolm , Jurassic Park
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
paganmist
Girl gamer geek armchair activist
10:47 PM on 03/15/2010
Social security was always meant to be a system where the current elderly are taken care of by the current workers. And when the current workers are elderly, they are cared for by the current youth.

Just shut up and get off this particular thread. You people love to get sanctimonious at exactly the wrong time. Do you protest gay funerals, too?

These women have to sell their wedding rings to make ends meet. That's horrible. STICK TO THE TOPIC. Otherwise, you seem like a raging b3tth0le. Would it kill you to show some respect?
08:03 AM on 03/14/2010
The common thread through the story was that all the women were single moms with children. There lies the problem.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
land2341
Follow me on https://www.facebook.com/ThinkingLber
01:14 PM on 03/14/2010
No, the problem lies in attitudes like yours. While there is a very small group of women who choose to bear children without partners, they are a small number - the majority of women on welfare are white and were married to the father of their children. More frequently than not, once the father leaves, the womanand her children fall into poverty and he does not, cannot, or will not pay child support......
09:46 PM on 03/14/2010
What's wrong with the attitude that a rock is worth more than the full stomach of a child?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mbarnett
Just a regular guy.
04:50 AM on 03/18/2010
Women need to be more discriminating in determining whom to shack up with. Bad judgment seems epidemic.
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05:05 AM on 03/15/2010
I'm glad life is so simple for you. Must be nice to have everything figured out.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gevan
big dubya
08:18 PM on 03/13/2010
Better to sell it when you can get money for it rather than hold on to it until your in a nursing home and it just one day disappears.
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03:15 PM on 03/13/2010
In a related story, a lady sold her hair for money to buy her husband a fob for his gold pocket watch. Ironically, he sold the pocket watch to buy combs for her long hair.
04:30 AM on 03/13/2010
Funny that I don't see any right-wingers or american patriots on this thread - gee what a surprise - they don't live or pontificate ont he american reality. They don't understand empathy - but that's ok, lefty liberals do - been dealing with reality instead of fantasy for decades.
08:52 AM on 03/13/2010
It is tragic that we as a great nation can't figure out a solution to the uninsured
situation. Other countries have already done it and it seems the same"pride"
that got us to the top will ironically bring us to our knees if we don't embrace change.
Until then, we have to take advantage of existing programs. There are at least two of
them which I feel everyone needs to know about. One is the "Patient Assistance
Program" and two are free discount prescription cards that exist. I know of a site
(www.medpap.ws)which goes over both .I hope this helps until we as a people truly realize
we are only as strong as our weakest link.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
capitaldysfunction
White male never voted Republican
01:37 AM on 03/14/2010
Fanned.

Righties understand repetitive argumentation, the same old feel-good-listening-to-myself talking points, repeated often. They're always right, of course, no matter what reality stares them in the face. That is the definition of a personality disorder.
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bluize
I am a Libra. I will get back to you.
01:35 AM on 03/13/2010
Pawn shops are doing great.
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pointyheadprodigy
Let me get this straight
06:10 PM on 03/13/2010
Yes they are. The one down the street from me used to be empty all of the time, now there are people filling the parking lot every time I drive past.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
capitaldysfunction
White male never voted Republican
01:51 AM on 03/14/2010
Are Payday lenders doing well? With nearly 500% interest rates I would think so.

Republican US Senator from Tennessee Corker remains insistent that lenders like Payday, pawn shops and other nonbank entities remain unregulated by any proposed financial regulations.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mbarnett
Just a regular guy.
04:51 AM on 03/18/2010
Hahaha, what??? Do people have an obligation to loan you money on your terms? Good Lord, economic education in the United States is abysmal.
12:36 AM on 03/13/2010
America on it's race to the bottom.
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breakingpoint
War is a Racket - Smedley Butler
11:35 PM on 03/12/2010
Shame on the US
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pantherace
11:21 PM on 03/12/2010
It's sad, but rings are just things, it's what they represent that has value.
11:28 PM on 03/12/2010
Yes, that's why when I get married, I will be sure to remind my fiancee that it's my love that counts, not the size of the ring. In fact, given the high incidents of divorce in the US, I think men should reconsider altogether just how much they invest in that ring -- especially since it can so easily and frivolously hocked for cash after the romance dies...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
pantherace
11:51 PM on 03/12/2010
Right, and it's not exactly romantic to go into debt over a ring, that's a bad way to start a marriage in my opinion. Americans in general need to reconsider how much they spend on everything, we're a little too obsessed with material goods and not on the things that really matter.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mbarnett
Just a regular guy.
04:53 AM on 03/18/2010
See, you have good judgment. You'll probably marry the right person because you'll put in your due diligence and look for the qualities in a man which matter. If more women thought like you, fewer would be single with kids looking to hock a $7000 wedding ring for $2800 or so.
11:36 PM on 03/12/2010
funny thing...but the last woman I proposed to didn't think so rationally about the issue. It seems reason and rationality only rears its head when the topic is someone else.
10:53 PM on 03/12/2010
Too bad all the focus and energy this past year has been spent on the healthcare debate and insurance reform. Maybe that will prove fruitful in the long run, but it's such a shame to see so many people suffer and this Congress (D's & R's) are completely ignorant to it all.
09:56 PM on 03/12/2010
maybe we could design a goverment bail out for this bunch also
10:35 PM on 03/12/2010
Britain and America have been on a spending binge for many years. It reached its zenith in 2005-2006; now, it will be very hard for these economies to grow. They can't do it by expanding consumer spending and consumer credit. In the first place, consumers already have too much stuff. In the second place, the consumer has neither the income nor collateral to justify more debt. So, the economy needs to find a new model to move forward.

In India, on the other hand, people don't have so much stuff. There are people sleeping on the sidewalks. They have nothing except the clothes they are wearing. And they certainly don't have credit cards and home equity lines. So India can grow for many, many years simply by providing basic goods and services to its own people. And the nice thing about it is that India doesn't seem to be capable of central planning...or any planning at all. The country can expect a long spell of prosperity, until the central planners get in position to lead. Then, they will be in troub