@boburnham: i just killed a guy......APRIL FOOL'S it was a woman!
@BorowitzReport: Happy April Fools: the day we say things that Glenn Beck says the rest of the year.
@peretti: HAHA April Fools! RT @DalaiLama There should be a balance between material and spiritual progress...achieved through love and compassion
@robdelaney: Just put an entire frozen chicken up my ass........... April Fools! It was just the drumstick.
@ConanOBrien Man, I am so tired. APRIL FOOL'S! I'm NOT tired. (I'm kind of tired)
@ShitMyDarthSays: "A good April Fools prank is sneaking up behind people who play April Fools pranks and beheading them with a lightsaber"
@OTOOLEFAN: Sarah Palin is a national treasure!
@alyankovic: As a wise man once said, "April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads."
@alexblagg: "Every existing thing is born without reason, prolongs itself out of weakness, and dies by chance." #AprilFoolsDay!
@ThatKevinSmith: Sad to report that I'll be closing my Twitter account. It's gotten me into too much trouble. Was fun while it lasted. Bye...APRIL FOOLS, MOTHERFUCKERS!!!! I'm NEVER giving up on Twitter. Rest assured: I'm gonna be there, tears-in-rain, when it all goes tits-up.
@yacomink: "Topeka" is the Leno cold-open of internet april fools jokes: massive audience, complete lack of imagination.
@paulscheer (aka "The Mariage Ref Ref" for today): Upcoming guests: Henry Kissinger, David Blaine, & Alf - Plus the Board game to be released Summer '10 #MarriageRefNews
@thecomicscomic: OMG, the New York Times profiled my site today! No, wait. April Fool's. They showcased a bunch of online gossips who don't matter. For real.
@lizzwinstead: April Fools Day is to comedians what New Years Eve is to Respectable Drunks: Amateur hour. #CommenceWithTheHate
@friedmanjon: My train is pulling off a hilarious April Fools prank by barely moving over the course of 30 minutes. Good one!
@alexblagg: The unfathomable contributions Google has made to the advancement of our culture aside, their April Fools pranks are SO LAME.