Being John Boehner: Jilly Gagnon Sets Out To Turn His Skin Color

House Minority Leader John Boehner: the man, the tan legend. He really gives regular, pale people something to aspire to...so much so that Vanity Fair'sJilly Gagnon has decided to step into his skin for a week. By using massive amounts of self-tanner. Here are some excerpts from her "Being John Boehner" diary. She first had to find out what color Boehner is, exactly:

Which is why I decide to try seven self-tanners. All at once. After they've all settled into my pores, I can compare the skin swatches I've made on my stomach to a sample I've taken from a photo of Mr. Boehner's forehead and determine which self-tanning product will make me the most Boehner-ific.

And the results?

Although I was holding out hope for "Tequila Sunrise," "Tangerine Dream," or the evocative "Cowboy Boot," according to my calculations, Mr. Boehner's tan is down to either "Antique Amber" or "Clay Pot." I hold each swatch up to my stomach, craning my neck to see if I've found my match. As I haven't yet been fully Boehnerized, I have a moment of quiet gratitude for the fact that socialized health care in Massachusetts will allow me to eventually ask a doctor about the nerve I'm pinching in my efforts to find the exact shade it takes to become Boehner.

We'll keep checking in with Gagnon this week. In the meantime, check out our slideshow of politicians with fake tans.