06/21/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

RuthBourdain Starts 'Ask RuBo' Advice Column

Mashed-up Twitter sensation RuthBourdain has launched her/his own advice column, "Ask RuBo." Essentially, Florence Fabricant's "Dear FloFab" with RuthBourdain's answers.

As described by RuthBourdain directly:

In the New York Times, Florence Fabricant gives advice on the fine points of entertaining at home and eating in restaurants. Here, Ruth Bourdain takes those questions and gives her own fucking answers.

From the first installment, here are some of RuBo's own fucking answers:

On a FloFab reader's boyfriend's bad table manners:

Don't be such a fucking douchette. There is absolutely nothing wrong with eating with your hands. Four year-olds eat quite well in my estimation: they don't natter on about calories, they don't waste time on idle conversation, and they don't fucking complain about how their loved ones eat to a major newspaper.

On whether to leave dirty plates at the table until everyone has finished:

Take it easy. Go ahead and pack a bowl with tangerine zest and smoke it. If he is really really taking too long, blow some smoke in his face, or, better yet, challenge him to a grasshopper-eating contest if he doesn't finish quickly.

On someone whose rich friend won't let them pick up the check:

Who the fuck are you people? WTF? Just let your rich friend pick up the check and go to town! Marrow bones, foie gras sundaes, black truffle pies - the whole nine yards. Otherwise, if you are footing the bill, you know that you'll end up splitting appetizers and sharing dessert or some kind of bullshit like that.

Read the entirety of the first installment of "Ask RuBo" here, and start following RuthBourdain on Twitter already.
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