Teddy Bear Equipped For Destruction Of Innocence (PHOTO)

We have to say, we kind of like this idea. You give the teddy bear to your child when he/she is young, then reveal the hidden compartment when they are old enough. Sure, you wouldn't want your child to become addicted to any of these substances (plus - what is the rope for? Scary!), but after he/she reads a bit of Salinger, this kit is just enough for a few nights of reckless, innocent-ending behavior that will propel them into an interesting, literary-inspired lifestyle. Or, it will scar them for life. (via 9Gag)

Comments

[dSco]

02:34 PM on 05/20/2010

haha! miscellaneous on # 5? HuffPost of all places should know what those are... "it's 4:20 somewhere!"

[nessus]

02:07 AM on 05/13/2010

"Look for the bear necessities
The simple bear necessities
Forget about your worries and your strife
I mean the bear necessities
Old Mother Nature's recipes
That brings the bear necessities of life"

[DoctorLes]

12:06 AM on 05/13/2010

Is this the new Vermont Teddy Bear -- ViceBear?

[Valkyrie Ice]

01:59 PM on 05/12/2010

What's the rope for? Escaping out of the window of your girlfriends bedroom when her parents come home, what else?

[Steamboater]

05:58 AM on 05/12/2010

A 'bear' destroyed my innocence long ago. :)

[Tyler-Durden]

09:57 AM on 05/12/2010

so you went to Catholic School??

[AraBrokenDreamer]

12:30 PM on 05/11/2010

And they wonder why kids won't be living longer than their parents now... -Ara

[Davest]

10:03 AM on 05/15/2010

Kids won't be living longer than us, because of all the crap they are putting into foods and growing with.

When Monsanto, is making artificial sweetener, that breaks down into Wood Alcohol that your body can't synthesize, and is in essence a poison, I find that to be troublesome.

[MicheleCA]

11:40 PM on 05/24/2010

Agree.

[Captain Pants]

08:58 AM on 05/11/2010

If they really loved their child, they could do better that Skol vodka - at least some Grey Goose people. We've got to teach these kids values.

[jsgaetano]

12:15 PM on 05/11/2010

There are no bad kids, just bad vodka.

[BlackJAC]

02:27 PM on 05/11/2010

Grey Goose? Why not Stoli?

[Tyler-Durden]

09:56 AM on 05/12/2010

grey goose IS a little smoother.

i participated in a vodka blind taste test once. my choice of mixer was cranberry juice. this is how i learned that Absolut is really harsh compared to Stoli, and that Goose is just a bit smoother than that. But Ketel One is my preference.

[SvrWx]

06:45 AM on 05/11/2010

God, I hated that book. Thought that Caufield was a whiny spoiled brat.

[GrownupStewie]

12:55 AM on 05/11/2010

sounds like my kind of parenting....

[sl utdem12]

12:54 AM on 05/11/2010

Hmm... Let's see you could take your date (be sure to use the breath spray) to the woods using your flashlight, ply her with p@t and alcohol and try to seduce her with Salinger. If that doesn't work, you could just tie her to a tree, have your way with her and smoke your cigarettes afterward.

[KJLSanDiego]

12:10 AM on 05/11/2010

It would be better if the flashlight and ropes were replaced with handcuffs and something else requiring batteries! ;)

[Greg Listopad]

12:10 AM on 05/11/2010

Kama sutra not included?

[jfair80]

09:15 PM on 05/10/2010

I'd like to get me some of that Misc.

[hawaiiwoman]

08:25 PM on 05/10/2010

#5 is a couple of doobies.

[Deb Mac]

08:03 PM on 05/10/2010

But what IS the rope for, really?

[SukiTheCat]

08:52 PM on 05/10/2010

auto-erotic asphyxiation?

[GrownupStewie]

12:57 AM on 05/11/2010

you play it too? wanna come over!!!!?!!!?!!?!!

[bgtaylor]

10:35 PM on 05/10/2010

It's just like in the Boondock Saints; you never know when you'll need it, especially during reckless, innocence-ruining behavior!