Support Jack Shepard, The Arsonist, For Congress

Here's your candidate of the week: Jack Shepard. And I'm not talking about "Jack Shephard," the "candidate" selected by "Jacob" to protect "the light" on "Lost Island" from the "black smoke monster." No, no! I'm talking about fugitive-from-justice Jack Shepard, who will vie for the GOP nomination in Minnesota's 4th Congressional District.

Shepard has been making quixotic runs for office since 2002. He's attempted two bids for the Minnesota Senate, two bids in the 4th, and "briefly for president in 2008." Oh, the trouble he's seen! Kicked off the ballot in 2004 for being a fugitive felon (""Hennepin County authorities said they believe the candidate is a former Minneapolis dentist who had already been convicted of criminal sexual conduct and drug possession when he was accused of arson in 1982.'), he's bedeviled reporters and built terrible websites, all for the sake of getting repeatedly clobbered.

Now, he's cloistered in Italy -- where he's lammed it, because of the whole criminal record thing -- and running again against anointed GOP candidate Teresa Collett. Who he really doesn't like. Really, really does not like.

Oh, and this one time, when the St. Paul Pioneer Press attempted to contact him in Italy, he sent back this response: "Jack Shepard is his legal name, but not his real name," and "it is a felony to expose the identity of a clandestine CIA agent." O-kay!

America, in 2010, this is the only person you can vote for who, upon arriving for work on the first day of his term, will be immediately arrested, for arson. Can you afford to pass up this chance?

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to [e-mail] -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

Comments

[Johnpburke]

04:19 PM on 06/05/2010

I've known Jack for 25 years and know him to be a very good and generous person who has ideals and is not afraid to stand up for them even if they are not always mainstream.
In the past he did suffer from bipolar disorder (is that a crime?) and may have done a couple of silly things but Calvinist Americans have NO PITY whatsoever for people who suffer from mental disorders- they love to condemn people to Hell for eternity even without knowing their true life stories and make vicious hurtful comments no matter what or when something happens even if it were thousands of years ago, the Calvinists and Puritans are always ready to condemn people.
I know Jack personally and have to stomach the vicious comments but no-one on this earth is my or my brother's judge and I know Jack as a wonderful human being.
John Burke Rome

[buggedabouttheus]

07:17 PM on 05/21/2010

After a long hard day to receive this gem, priceless. How hilarious is this?

[Poppop1952]

10:42 AM on 05/21/2010

i am suprised that Crazy Michelle and her friend Half Gov. palin are not endorsing this wonderful candidate.

[Bobo from Texas]

10:51 AM on 05/21/2010

He's a loon. Just like Democrat Fred "God hates f*gs" Phelps. You know that guy who also protests at military.

He's a Moby. Pro-choice, pro-gay rights and pro-pot legalization. Hardly the typical Republican but quite like so many "progressives".

[Catch 22]

10:42 AM on 05/21/2010

Wow, that was amazing. A dentist huh? Why don't I just run into a brick wall?

[Menelik-II]

12:39 PM on 05/22/2010

So the only thing wrong you saw with this guy is, he was a dentist?

[txrunner]

10:36 AM on 05/21/2010

Now that's a rap sheet that only a Kennedy would be proud of.

Too bad he's not Democrat - Al Franken could show him how to steal a MN election.

[sc87102]

09:51 AM on 05/21/2010

...and here I was thinking that Darrell Issa was the only former arsonist GOP'er to run for Congress. Boy, was I wrong!

[Bobo from Texas]

10:07 AM on 05/21/2010

Yeh, Issa is an arsonist. Just like Obama is a gay, crack smoking murderer.

Tip - Just because you read it online doesn't make it true.

[sc87102]

12:31 PM on 05/21/2010

I've done my opposition research on Issa...just because it hasn't come to the surface doesn't make it untrue...though your Obama comments are way out of line. BTW, been to Texas...very sad, sad place to be from.

[Bobo from Texas]

09:43 AM on 05/21/2010

Quite the kook but not nearly in nationally famous Democrat Fred Phelps of God Hates F*gs" fame. Check it out on Wiki

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fred_Phelps#Electoral_history

[LouisGA]

09:25 AM on 05/21/2010

Michele Bachmann fears she will no longer be the craziest Republiklan.

[Bobo from Texas]

09:53 AM on 05/21/2010

Jack Shepard's positions

1) A woman's right of free choice
2) Supports the human liberties guaranteed in our constitution including gay rights
3) Supports the Legalization of Medical Marijuana
4) Supports an immediate change in the Criminal Justice System's direction with a renewed emphasis on ex-offender rehabilitation, instead of the present focus on longer and more costly re-incarnation of non-violent offenders

Sounds pretty "progressive" to me. I'm calling Moby on this loon.

[Kaviraj]

09:59 AM on 05/21/2010

Point 4 is only to cover his own @ss.

[amdezurik]

10:26 AM on 05/21/2010

he also seems to think he is a CIA agent and that rape is A-OK.

[lastep]

09:24 AM on 05/21/2010

this guy really made the establishment angry it seems

[LouisGA]

09:23 AM on 05/21/2010

The RepubliKlans are proud to endorse another family values candidate.

[DevonTexas]

09:11 AM on 05/21/2010

How appropriate that he's running as a Republican in Minnesota! Right there with Michelle Bachmann!

[Blue Pup in PHX]

09:06 AM on 05/21/2010

Lies, sexual indiscretions, drug abuse, arson and fleeing arrest.... yup, he'll fit right in with the Michael Steele crowd in Washington... I can see why the Tealiban just loves him too! Look at that high quality campaign ad... it
s almost enough to make you want to move to his district, switch parties and pick up a campaign placard! He's make a perfect book end for Bat-ship Nutz-lady Bachman

[confused most times]

09:20 AM on 05/21/2010

Just where does this article mention "Tea Party" - only Linkins and Progressive Dems would give this loon press time.

[treshold75]

08:50 AM on 05/21/2010

So they support a criminal who clearly doesn't spend any of his 6 months on American soil yet complain about Obama's birthplace when the proof is there for all to see? You cannot make this up!!!

[DevonTexas]

09:12 AM on 05/21/2010

LOL

[savroD]

08:42 AM on 05/21/2010

This guy is going to fit right in with the current GOP!

[Donns]

08:30 AM on 05/21/2010

A known criminal - he'll be a star politician