Colbert's Plan To Dump Oil On British Soccer Team (VIDEO)

Colbert took on two major news events, The World Cup and the oil spill, in one glorious segment last night.

With the U.S. facing England in the first round, Colbert was pumped at the chance to "get back at those limey bastards for the oil spill." The game plan: dumping 10 million gallons of oil on their side of the field. Seems easy enough. He then added:

"Then, we stop play while shrimp fishermen in hazmat suits scrub down the British team with toothbrushes, which will have the added benefit of introducing the British to the concept of toothbrushes. "

The bit begins after the (also very funny) segment on Michael Jordan's Hitler stache.


WATCH:

Comments

[jdrourke]

04:29 PM on 06/14/2010

Nice job, SC! Keep it up...

http://jdrourke.wordpress.com/2010/06/13/dear-soccer-football/

[Jacqueline R]

03:55 PM on 06/14/2010

I do not understand why anyone would be blaming the British or the English for the oil spill when in reality the real culprits are the greedy CEO's of BP and lazy government inspectors. Those two groups exist everywhere and no know national boundaries. Corporations need to be held accountable for their actions. The corporations and the lazy incompetent government inspectors are loving this because it draws the fire away from them. Blaming the British or the English makes as much sense as blaming the average American.

[songoftherushes]

01:07 AM on 06/14/2010

England ...not Britain....England........

[bernusdellus]

12:58 AM on 06/14/2010

Heh. The u.s. fluked a scoring draw. Tomorrow, I bet it'll be important. Betcha! [Whoops. Sorry. Slipped into Palinese there for a moment. Hey... Is that Russia I can see out of my window?].

[riga91]

06:15 PM on 06/13/2010

Americans like complexity?!

[Calum Butler]

02:21 PM on 06/13/2010

It's the English Football team, not the British Soccer team.

[bernusdellus]

12:59 AM on 06/14/2010

Thank you. :)

[songoftherushes]

01:09 AM on 06/14/2010

Right. You don't call a Scot or a Welshman an Englishman.......Only the English are sticking to Britain.

[Winthorpe]

01:26 AM on 06/14/2010

It's not that, it's that it's incorrect. There is no British soccer team -- or football team.

[Macnos]

05:00 AM on 06/13/2010

I'm disappointed Stephen decided to further advanced the ridiculous soccer stereotypes.

[KIVPossum]

05:49 AM on 06/12/2010

Video is blocked here, durn it.

[Sarah812]

05:42 AM on 06/12/2010

You wanted oil, you crave oil, your government wrecked a whole country for oil under the shawl of regime change and none exisant weapons of mass destruction. Well, I call this ironic. There's your oil on your shores, ruining your livelihoods. Exxon Mobil did something similar in South America did they not? Hope you're happy. Karma is a bitch but it only bites those that deserve it.

[Faelsun]

03:01 AM on 06/13/2010

Ah yes the balanced British response to dumping oil in our ocean.

[MadeleineA]

01:37 PM on 06/13/2010

Yeah, school us on wrecking countries, then read about the history of Britain - - and weep.

[TXfemmom]

09:43 PM on 06/11/2010

I have a long term friend from the UK. She called me the other day and brought up BP and how she thought we were demonizing them here in the U. S. I thought for a moment, and asked her whether the Brits would be taking it so calmingly had a U. S. oil company EXPLODED an oil rig off their coast, and contaminated the estuary of the Thames, made the white walls of Dover BROWN AND TOXIC, and polluted the beaches of Brighton and other resorts WHILE their CEO said that it was rather overblown and he wanted his nice, pleasant life back?

She shut up and said, well, I see your point.

[ShatterProof]

03:42 AM on 06/12/2010

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhopal_disaster

[Sarah812]

05:47 AM on 06/12/2010

Actually, Rhyl comes to mind. I don't remember anyone complaining about the gallons of toxic waste Ellesmere Port refinery deposited on the shores.

[Godweiser]

08:19 PM on 06/11/2010

I love the graphic of Wayne Rooney getting scrubbed down with a toothbrush. I can't stand him.

[LenoFan]

05:59 PM on 06/11/2010

Colbert is such a bigot - now he hates Britain, too! Funny, he hasn't critisized Obambi for his Katrina yet!

[Jesterband]

06:29 PM on 06/11/2010

You are a whackadoodle.

[Godweiser]

08:19 PM on 06/11/2010

Wanh-wanh.

[ShatterProof]

04:41 PM on 06/11/2010

Careful in case someone suggests we dump the chemicals, that Dow spilt in Bhopal, India that killed 20,000, on the USA football team.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhopal_disaster

That was a powerful insecticide that killed 3000 instantly, the American directors fled on the next available flight and 30 years later nobody has cleaned up the mess, 500,000 people suffered ill health as a result of the spill.

USA HYPOCRISY!

[TXfemmom]

09:40 PM on 06/11/2010

It was Carbide that owned the plant in Bhopal, India. and it was an INDIAN ENGINEER who intentionally sabotaged the plant and caused the release. Put the blame where it should be. The company did not negligently release it or not do maintenance, it was an angry person who killed all of those people....his own people.

[ShatterProof]

03:35 AM on 06/12/2010

Learn to read, Union Carbide changed their name to Dow which everyone knows is fact, which makes the rest of the drivel you talk about not worth discussing.

The shame.

[shankhadeep]

03:33 PM on 06/11/2010

Another example of why Colbert is the second funniest man on television after Jon Stewart..

[ComputerBlue]

06:03 AM on 06/12/2010

I concur.

[verticallychallenged]

10:07 AM on 06/12/2010

Aw, don't make me rank them, I love 'em both equally.

[Rod DK]

11:19 AM on 06/13/2010

Ditto

[Sarah812]

03:16 PM on 06/11/2010

British soccer team. Try England football team. The team which is going to whoop your arse into the middle of next week. Secondly, why is so much hate directed towards BP? They're not the responisble party here, Transocean are the owners of that rig but no one has brought that up. Let's go after the petrol and gas giants, that's good enough. I've had to research BP and they are an incompetant company, but this was not completely their doing. I'm actually glad we don't get Colbert here, he's not even funny. Come to think of it, the only late night show you have over there that could be considered genuinely funny, is fronted by an ex-alcoholic Scot. Satire is Mock the Week and Have I Got News For You, Colbert and Stewart couldn't hold a torch to those two.

[IllTakeTheRedEye]

04:43 PM on 06/11/2010

Well Sarah812-

1st) BP promised not to destroy the Amoco brand name in the states
Not a wise move when acquiring from Americans the American Oil Company
One thing to acquire the company, another entirely different thing to destroy our USA brand name in our own country and ram BP in its place at every petrol station. Then to add insult to this we had to hear how they are really Beyond Petroleum now, and not British Petroleum. B.S.

2nd) BP thought nothing of the Texas City explosion killing 15 workers

3rd) Then there is this being hidden from the news from A COUPLE WEEKS AGO

"The Trans-Alaska Pipeline, partly owned by BP, shut down on Tuesday after spilling several thousand barrels of crude oil into backup containers, drastically cutting supply down the main artery between refineries and Alaska's oilfields"

http://www.reuters.com/article/idUSTRE64P04U20100526

4th) Not to be confused with this
"Oil Gushes into Arctic Ocean from BP Pipeline "
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines06/0321-06.htm

5th) "BP gets OK to dump mercury into Lake Michigan"
http://www.usatoday.com/money/industries/environment/2007-07-30-mercury_N.htm

6th) Mr. Hayward, "I'd like my life back." about this USA disaster!

I could continue but at this point I must believe you are somewhat out of touch

BP has decided that everything BP, British Petrol, is to crap on the USA.
You cannot understand "so much hate directed toward BP?"

Are you drunk?

[ComputerBlue]

06:31 AM on 06/12/2010

For a moment there, Sarah812, I thought you were Sarah Palin, but that was dispelled because I didn't have to reread your post 10 times to understand what you were saying.

In any event, BP, Transocean, and Halliburton may each have some level of responsibility in all of this. But if Transocean owns the rig, it must have some sort of leasing agreement with BP, in order for the latter to use the rig. BP is responsible for the manner in which it used the equipment. (Think of a landlord/tenant arrangement. You don't go after the landlord when the tenant's having his wild parties. The tenant's PRIMARILY liable--even though the landlord MAY have some SECONDARY liability.) Quite frankly, however, we don't need to figure all of that out. We need to do what's necessary to protect our Gulf Coast and surrounding areas, and we know that BP bears some responsibility in its continuing destruction. How much? Let the BP, Transocean, and Halliburton lawyers figure that out. We have to save our Coast.