Little Girl Raised From Birth By Wolf Blitzer Taken Into Protective Custody: The Onion (VIDEO)

07/14/2010 04:33 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Onion News Network pokes some fun at CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer and his infamous monotone voice with this video imagining that a girl he raised has been taken into protective custody after she turns out to be a mini Blitzer.

It's very funny. The girl playing Blitzer's child is great; she's only lacking his beard. The video includes choice lines like:

The only way she knows how to communicate is through Wolf Blitzer's colorless monotone. We are currently trying to teach her more humanlike speech patterns.

She likes to be the one asking questions. When Molly gets uopset, she talks to her imaginary friends via satellite. It's a coping mechanism.


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