Hephzibah Anderson, author of "Chastened: The Unexpected Story of My Year Without Sex," went on the Colbert Report last night to discuss her decision not to have sex for a year. Anderson explained: "Far from being a dry spell... I found that it was a very rich year of self discovery, discovering what I wanted from sex, figuring out how much pressure was put on us especially as women, but you know men too, to have sex in a very certain, very restricted way."
Anderson made her decision after seeing an ex-boyfriend shopping for an engagement ring and realizing no man had told her he'd loved her for ten years. She found that abstaining allowed her to discover what she actually wanted from sex and awakened her to how much pressure was being put on women to have sex without emotion. Colbert responded: "What about all the pressure women put on men to have emotions without sex?" After laughing, Anderson responded she thought that women rarely would ask for something like that: "We feel like we don't have the right to do that."
Surprisingly, Anderson discovered that telling a partner she would not have sex with them was more intimate then having sex with them, calling it an "emotional strip tease." She concluded: "It turns out you need to know somebody quite well in order to tell them that you're not going to sleep with them."
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