'Jersey Shore' Episode Four Recap

Broken hearts bled all over the good times on last night's episode of Jersey Shore.

We begin, where so many episodes have, with Ronnie and Sammi.

Ron's been hooking up with other women like it's his job. He hasn't gotten caught, because Sammi doesn't want to believe he's unfaithful and nobody wants to tell her the truth.

The rest of the cast is growing tired of the twosome's constant arguing, so Snooki and JWoww decide to write Sammi an anonymous note, telling her that Ronnie has been kissing and motorboating other ladies. (Quick Urban Dictionary definition of motorboating: "to bury ones face in some giant jugs and shake your face back and fourth while blowing out, and making a hubababa sound.")

The letter is all typed up and ready to destroy Sammi, but then Snooks and JWoww decide not to give it to her because, umm... Ronnie is going to be mean to them, or something? It's very hard to tell why the women don't go through with their plan, but, for whatever reason, Ronnie lives to motorboat another day.

The Situation sums up Ronnie's predicament with poetic eloquence. According to Mike, Ronnie wants to be with other girls, but he also wants his cookie (Sammi is the cookie in this baked-goods-based analogy). But The Situation contends that Ronnie needs to give up his cookie and get with different cookies.

"I eat chocolate chip cookies every night," Mike explains proudly. You don't want to know what the term "chocolate chip cookie" means in the Urban Dictionary.

Sammi's not the only one with love troubles. Snooki's "gorilla juicehead" (or boyfriend as they're more commonly called) rings her up to drunkenly apologize for having sex with another girl. Snooki is not at all pleased with this news, so her boyfriend calls an audible. "I was kidding! I'm kidding!" he screams as she slams the phone down. Jesus Snooks, learn to take a hilarious "I slept with another woman" joke.

Snooki lets out a few inhuman screams and then exclaims, "Guys don't know how to deal with women. That's why the lesbian rate is going up in this country."

Yes, that "lesbian rate" just keeps on a climbin'.

These two story lines are the meat and potatoes of episode 4. Let's hope next week's episode, which airs Thursday at 10 p.m. on MTV, marks the end of the Ronnie and Sammi soap opera. Or, we can at least pray we get to hear Ronnie make a "hubababa" sound.

Comments

[russdyer]

09:58 AM on 08/27/2010

I'm pretty sure I saw popchips! Potato Chips in their kitchen! Those things are awesome. At only 120 calories per serving, no wonder these kids are in shape. They snack smartly. For more information, check out http://popchipspotatochips.com

[Jada Smith]

08:23 PM on 08/22/2010

I think attention needs to be focused on the Media exploiting these kids more so than the kids behavior. You can walk on any beach in the USA today and see the same things happening in all the clubs and in beach houses. I guess my issue with this whole thing is how Viacom is going over the top and pushing these kids to maybe go overboard. Yes they all signed legal contracts, hey kids if you want to swim with the sharks cool, but we are not responsible if one bites you. They get these kids by enticing them with "fame". Yes you can say the kids are using MTV for their 15 minutes of fame, but at the end of the day, I am pretty sure Viacom is recieving much more than any of these kids will ever see in their lifetime, if they get past the age of 30. What scares me, and I am honest when I say this, how far will the kids go to stay famous. If your famous for being a drunk and a ass where do you go from there? I swear, I am waiting I think like the rest of the people who follow this obivious insanity for the Breaking News...So and so found dead, fell and broke their head open while filming the Jersey Shore, but hey Viacom, you warned those fish, if they want to swim with sharks, your not responsible for the bite. But good ratings.Thanks!

[aznurse]

02:09 AM on 08/29/2010

the "situation" is said to be making 6 million by next year doing what he would've been doing for free

[palisades02]

12:51 PM on 08/22/2010

Anyway to deport these people and Flog MTV for subjecting the viewing pubic to the dumbing down of America?

[mykarmabeatsyourdogma]

12:19 PM on 08/22/2010

Before 1985*

[mykarmabeatsyourdogma]

12:19 PM on 08/22/2010

To be honest this show is just a concentrate of youth culture that has existed for a while now. If all of this comes at a shock to you you were either born later than 1985 or you still think your kids are 'just going to the movies' every friday night.

[MANK]

12:04 PM on 08/22/2010

We are sinking like a stone and more people in Ameirca probably know these cast members better than what is happening in our country and the world. But maybe this show is the best of what is happening to our culture?

[Jada Smith]

06:57 PM on 08/21/2010

I am a parent from Marlboro NY, where this monstrosity of a young lady grew up, aka Snooki. I can not tell you how disgusted I am that MTV promotes this raging young alchoholic. It is not a top secret thing that Miss Polizzi was arrested in 2004 for selling alchohol to minors at her parents home, while the parents where home. I will never forget, it was the night before Thanksgiving day and we all got the news about Michael Truncali. It makes me sick that his parents get to watch this girl drink to oblivion and get paid for it. I have asked MTV, Viacom, and even a few sponsers to get this girl off the show. I am all about pop culture, but when Viacom needs to find a disturbed young drunk girl and make her star, even though she caused a death of a young man is beyond me.

[Tlanice]

03:02 PM on 08/21/2010

I am very upset I actually read this. The headline on the NY page didn't say it was an episode recap, then used the NYSE picture so I'm thinking maybe it had something to do with that. *smh* Heck to me for falling for it.

Honestly HP, is Jersey Shore so important they get their own recap on this site? For all of that go on and recap Bad Girls Club. They are annoyingly loud but at least they aren't...Snooki

[garymiceli]

08:19 PM on 08/20/2010

I believe you misspelled motorbating.

[middleclassprophet]

04:25 PM on 08/20/2010

Journalism is dying a death of a thousand cuts...

[Lulu-2]

11:33 PM on 08/20/2010

I don't know why, but your comment makes me laugh - so true, and so, so pithy !

[Begbie]

04:03 PM on 08/20/2010

These guidos and guidettes neither speak English nor Italian but in the Urban Dictionary Language...The Situation said he eats chocolate chip cookies every night, translation... reference to having anal sex with different women nightly..

[rikster]

03:42 PM on 08/20/2010

surely a sign of the decline of the USA..