Amazing 'House Rules' Should Also Be LIFE Rules (PHOTO)

We don't know exactly whose "house rules" these are, but we're coming over for their next party. In fact, these rules could really be defined as "life rules." They cover all the bases: no fighting, breaking stuff, or sexual assaults (of course), plenty of rapping, kissing, and cookies (definitely) and limited use of the homeowner's Nintendo 64 games (because come on, it's 2010). The most ridiculous has to be the last one, which advocates anyone caught masturbating to keep doing so. Ahem, did we say we'd make these "life rules?" OK, maybe not that last one, but the rest of them, sure! As long as there is indeed "lots o' wine" and no dance parties are interrupted, we'll consider this our new Bill Of Rights. (Via I Am Bored)

Comments

[Chico41]

12:18 PM on 09/03/2010

Should be titled "Hipster House Rules", and I'm surprised "Glasses without lenses and hats from the 50s ONLY" didn't make the list.

[Julie Walters]

04:33 PM on 09/02/2010

This is disgusting. This is what passes for news on this site?

[HatakeSC]

04:40 PM on 09/02/2010

Oh look you stumbled into the comedy section and didn't even know it! (All the sections have their own "color" so you can tell when you've changed themes through linking). Religion, for example, is a nice purple color while comedy is red.

[astridalailama]

02:03 PM on 09/02/2010

I totally lived at this house in college. It was a pretty good time.

[nfatt1]

10:56 AM on 09/02/2010

We really need less regulation.

[irishpoetry]

06:31 AM on 09/02/2010

A real coooool set of rules.

irishpoetry

[enigmaticblue]

03:09 PM on 09/01/2010

the last one is hilarious... absolutely love N64... super mario and mario kart

[Denise Altoff]

02:39 AM on 09/01/2010

YAY N64 games, best game system I've had so far, Perfect Dark, Mario64, Mario Kart, good times, good times.

[Chris Lipscomb]

03:39 AM on 09/02/2010

Dont forget Goldeneye!!

[chigirl75]

05:11 PM on 08/31/2010

A most awesome set of rules....probably for a frat house.

[Political Avatar]

03:55 PM on 08/31/2010

These have got to be Frat house or Bachelor pad (with many roommates) rules.

Because if a women made these up, I want her to bare me many fine children, for she is obviously the awesomest female ever to exist (Any women with a working N64 is my kinda girl.)

[bisbeeornotbisbee]

05:57 PM on 08/31/2010

Ok, lay it on me, what are N64 games? Thanks.

[Political Avatar]

06:53 PM on 08/31/2010

Nintindo 64. Its a game system, its a reallly old system now that has been surpassed by many others.

Its known for its party games including:
Golden Eye
Mario Kart
Smash Brothers Melee
Super Mario Party (I think)

[Jacqueline R]

06:10 PM on 08/31/2010

Oh, you are so sweet. I still have my original Atari as well as the Nintendo 64, and Sega Genesis.

[Political Avatar]

06:51 PM on 08/31/2010

Call me :P I love you sincerely, and if my girlfriend see's this you wont have to worry about calling me....

[ebonyblade]

02:11 PM on 08/31/2010

HAHAHA........wait....who the he//!

[clinickid]

11:37 AM on 08/31/2010

I am super pissed that HuffPost broke into my apartment....

[rjmtx]

10:02 AM on 08/31/2010

One more... don't leave used tampons where the dog can get them.

[KenMoore]

10:15 AM on 08/31/2010

Or flush them down the toilet, they're bad for the plumbing.

[rjmtx]

11:26 AM on 08/31/2010

Especially on a septic tank. Yuck.

[BlackTantalus]

01:56 PM on 08/31/2010

Dogs are creative in this regard, producing memories that last a lifetime.

[Political Avatar]

03:57 PM on 08/31/2010

I did not need that imagery in my head, thank you very much. But it was such an epic comment that you are both Faved and Fanned.

[themightylemur]

08:41 AM on 08/31/2010

I lol'd at #13, but why are N64 games *only* allowed at parties?

[Tristram Draper]

09:22 AM on 08/31/2010

because it is a travesty of a system?

[Ampoliros]

10:18 AM on 08/31/2010

Because the N64 was at its best with 4 players.

Here's a tip in Goldeneye, if you see me run from you, don't follow me, I have Proximity Mines.

[Boris17]

10:23 AM on 08/31/2010

I can't lie, we played that game until the system broke back in my days of barracks living!

[mammon55]

12:14 PM on 08/31/2010

they are best in the libary when people are switching floors

Ha
Fanned!

[KIVPossum]

05:47 AM on 08/31/2010

......We don't know exactly whose "house rules" these are......

Well, I'll tell you. Just like all the cute little notes put in the comedy section, they are something someone wrote up and posted on some site so HP could use it.

[dblan9]

02:35 PM on 08/31/2010

Wait a minute sir. Are you suggesting that rock solid, street dog, investigative reporting did NOT unearth this gem?

[wanderingArtist3211]

11:00 AM on 09/01/2010

Your sarcasm is so nourishing to my cynical soul. Truly. *fave*

[fusillijerry]

04:52 PM on 08/31/2010

Tell the world!

[pakaal]

02:19 AM on 08/31/2010

I'm glad they specified no MALICIOUS fights, it's rare that I go to a house party and don't engage in a Star Trek TOS-style Kirk vs the Gorn simulation fight, and I'd hate to have to curtail that activity.

[Hooty owl]

03:06 AM on 08/31/2010

This house is totes down with LARPers, Judo Masters, and Ninja's in need of practice.

[pakaal]

01:00 PM on 08/31/2010

I wonder what the house rules are on Furries.

[mammon55]

12:16 PM on 08/31/2010

i alway chase people shirtless with a sword, like when Sulu lost his mind with the rest of the crew
is that malicious?

[pakaal]

12:57 PM on 08/31/2010

Not if you have that leering grin he was wearing at the time, then it's just amusing.

[fusillijerry]

04:56 PM on 08/31/2010

Chasing people with a sword--whether shirtless and leering, shirted and not leering, shirted and leering, or shirted and not leering--is generally accepted as malicious.