Best. Resume. Ever. (PHOTO)

The job market is rough, so we wouldn't be surprised if many employers are getting these kinds of "amazing" resumes on a daily basis. This guy seems like the perfect employee! Aside from finding the time to attend every ivy league school under the sun (and Devry!), he seems to know all the right things to say to get hired. He should have no problem meeting his stated objectives, including the acquisition of a sweet commemorative coin collection, and who would deny a job to a former employee of "The Newspaper" who won a "Puletsur" prize? Just don't look for references, since they all burned in one, big fire. Genius. (Via Reddit)