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Yo, Jersey! Rutgers Wants You To Be Nicer, Launches Civility Campaign

GEOFF MULVIHILL   09/27/10 07:24 AM ET   AP

Jersey Rutgers

MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. — Yo, Jersey: Be nice.

Rutgers University, the flagship university in a state known for ruthless mob bosses, petulant reality show stars and cutthroat drivers, is launching a two-year project to get people – at least those on campus – to behave better.

Students, faculty and other employees are encouraged to attend a series of lectures, presentations and discussions on civility that start Wednesday. Residents in the community won't be turned away if there's space.

Kathleen Hull, one of the school officials running the project, says Rutgers has some civility problems, but it's no different from other schools. It's as civil as the world around it, she says.

But Hull realizes that some New Jerseyans relish a "rough-and-tumble" reputation. "We could come up with a new slogan: 'Project Civility: You got a problem with that?'" she said.

Student government President Yousef Saleh, a senior from Jersey City, said he sees some examples of people being civil – sharing umbrellas, for instance – but some problems, too.

"One person closes their book five seconds before the end of class, and then it's like a waterfall, everybody closes their book," he said. "It's disrespectful to the professor."

And don't get him started on the nastiness than can infuse student government politics.

He doesn't blame New Jersey.

"It's because we're college students and we're paying for services and we all feel entitled to have a seat on a bus, we feel there should be short lines at takeout," he said. "We're paying the professor so we should be able to leave class whenever we feel like it."

The project includes a series of lectures and programs, exploring such topics as how cell phones, iPods and other gadgets affect civility, and sportsmanship for athletes and fans.

The first session is a presentation by P.M. Forni, author of "Choosing Civility: The Twenty-Five Rules of Considerate Conduct" and founder of The Civility Institute at Johns Hopkins University.

He said he'll tell students that civility isn't just about manners. Rather, it's a form of the enlightened self-interest.

Forni said research is finding that social intelligence – how to get along with others – is a better indicator of success than the kind of intelligence measured by IQ tests.

"If you accept that life is relational, you must accept that the quality of our lives depends on the quality of our relationships," he said.

In other words: You get something out of understanding and treating others well. That's a lesson most Rutgers students have learned by the time they're through, Saleh said. But it takes awhile.

Forni, has been giving lectures and presentations around the country on civility for more than a decade. He said the Rutgers effort is the most ambitious he's seen to encourage civility on campus.

Hull, who directs the university's Byrne Seminars at its main campus in New Brunswick, said she's not sure the project will change the campus environment.

Her hopes are relatively modest: Allowing students and university staff to speak openly about civility, maybe coming up with campuswide classroom policies on cell phones and text messaging, and possibly drafting some rules of conduct on the university's fleet of buses, where students have been known to hog two seats while someone else is left standing.

But she said, students may not buy into the idea that they need to act better.

"For all I know," Hull said, "there may be a rejection."

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MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. — Yo, Jersey: Be nice. Rutgers University, the flagship university in a state known for ruthless mob bosses, petulant reality show stars and cutthroat drivers, is launching a...
MOUNT LAUREL, N.J. — Yo, Jersey: Be nice. Rutgers University, the flagship university in a state known for ruthless mob bosses, petulant reality show stars and cutthroat drivers, is launching a...
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05:54 AM on 09/29/2010
But I just got a new haircut today!
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ebanks84
Grandma knows best!
10:28 PM on 09/27/2010
Why is this an article?
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rjmtx
blah blah blah
06:12 PM on 09/27/2010
I think it's funny that people in the North think Southerners are phony with our willingness to kill you with kindness, if need be. Just being nice makes normal daily interactions that much easier. There are enough problems in the world without people running around being a$$holes to each other.
04:36 PM on 09/27/2010
A lesson in civility would have been to leave these clowns in the real world and let them continue to act the way they do and see were they end up 15 years from now. Instead MTV decided to reward their behavior and make them millionaires so MTV could sell commercials and make money. Great message to the youth of the nation.
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wallonthefly
Sanitized For Your Protection
03:58 PM on 09/27/2010
New Jersey's governor could definitely use some civility training.
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Arthur L
03:26 PM on 09/27/2010
Like the loud, obnoxious minority here in Atlanta, the loud, obnoxious minority draws much more image impact than the quieter majority.
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johnfkennedyjr
Look to my left & to my right, I'm in the Center!
02:33 PM on 09/27/2010
Its a great idea but needs to be taught at a much younger age...
02:01 PM on 09/27/2010
Wash the unwashed, drape em in gold chains, lipstick em, gel em, dress em in black silk, send em to college to teach em some couth, and what happens? Ooffa dese kids! Stugotz!
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Ward Anderson
Comic, Author, Director. www.wardanderson.net
01:36 PM on 09/27/2010
I find it amazing when people from Jersey try to argue that it's an unfair description of them the way the rest of the country calls them out for being rude and crass. Even the state's own colleges are beginning to see it. I lived in Jersey for seven years and found it to be an awful, soulless place, full of some of the worst people I've ever encountered. The state logo should be a middle finger. Never before nor since have I encountered such ignorant, self-entitled people. Good for Rutgers for realizing that the school is surrounded by d-bags. I started to think that the entire world was like the people in Jersey. Then, I moved away and breathed a breath of fresh air. I then realized it was just the wretched people in that state, living in their parents' basements, driving cars they can't afford while their mothers do their laundry.
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CrankyGal
My micro-bio itches like hell
02:04 PM on 09/27/2010
Good heavens Ward, take a pill or something!

Why so cranky? That's supposed to be my job.

I lived most of my life in Jersey, and there are plenty of perfectly nice, well-educated folks here.

The college kids at Rutgers are no different than the population at large; some are nice, some are jerks.
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Ward Anderson
Comic, Author, Director. www.wardanderson.net
03:16 PM on 09/27/2010
Oh, there's fine people in Jersey, of course. I wouldn't have lived there for 7 years if they were all that bad. That said, I remember more of the awful people than I do the nice, because I do feel they outnumbered the polite population...and were simply over-the-top when it came to being shallow and self-centered. That said, I'm certainly not going to say I didn't meet some nice people...and I'm not going to say that there aren't awful people everywhere else you go at some point or another. Just that, in Jersey, the crass people I met really stood out. Enough for me to remember it, despite those 7 years being generally successful ones for me, career-wise and life-wise.
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milomilano
02:20 PM on 09/27/2010
Where did you live in NJ, Bayonne , West New York?

I live in NJ along the Delaware in a county filled with rolling hills, forests, farms and small creative communities of 1400 -5000 people. Our whole county has about 125000 people. A very eclectic mix of people and the median household income is about $90,000.Snooki and those types are complete strangers to this part of Jersey unless they are here on the weekend to go tubing in the summer.

Bet you didn't even know that existed in "Jersey". With that said, you'd never get me to move back to the central eastern part of NJ. Way too many people, going way too fast through life.
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Ward Anderson
Comic, Author, Director. www.wardanderson.net
03:17 PM on 09/27/2010
I lived up in North Jersey, where NYC takes it's dregs and spits them out.

:)

Okay, I'm exaggerating a tad. It wasn't that bad.

Wait...yes it was.
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Montcalms Revenge
Plaines d' Abraham
01:25 PM on 09/27/2010
Shouldn't teaching kids manners be the PARENTS' job? But then again adults are just as rude in public or in the workplace... I give Rutgers credit for trying...
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kyeshinka
01:33 PM on 09/27/2010
That's probably why. Telling parents to teach their kids manners seems to be a lost cause nowadays.
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unami
sonic truth
12:38 PM on 09/27/2010
It's all the Irish and Italian people, they make life in New Jersey, hell.
12:45 PM on 09/27/2010
someone should throw you a beatin...
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Onegin
music and science is my religion
01:10 PM on 09/27/2010
generalization much..
12:36 PM on 09/27/2010
Be the change you wanna see.
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lendmeanear
01:27 PM on 09/27/2010
How original. I've never heard that one before. Think.
01:50 PM on 09/27/2010
I wasn't claiming to be original, merely stating an observation. It's also how I try to accomplish things in my own life.
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12:34 PM on 09/27/2010
Students packing up their things when they decide class is over is in no way exclusive to New Jersey. I go to school in Kentucky and the same thing happens. Personally, I do think it's a respect thing and I'll usually wait until the professor is done to put my things away. I wonder how much time other students really think they're saving.

On the other hand, the professors should also respect the students enough to not go grossly over the time. I've had professors insist on keeping the class an extra 15 minutes, not letting the students go until 5 minutes after their next class has already started.

But yeah, it's definitely not a Jersey thing.
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garder54
12:34 PM on 09/27/2010
I live in PA and venture over to NJ maybe once a year. It is horrible. People are, in general, more rude and quick tempered.
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milomilano
02:22 PM on 09/27/2010
Yea a lot like the folks I've encountered in Bristol Pa. on occasion.
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garder54
03:06 PM on 09/27/2010
Bristol is right on the border, it can be attributed to Jersey overflow.
democles
swords-r-us
12:32 PM on 09/27/2010
Good luck. Jersey is a canker.
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johnfkennedyjr
Look to my left & to my right, I'm in the Center!
02:38 PM on 09/27/2010
The worst part about Jersey are the god-awful ^&%* taxes!