Colbert Flips DADT: Openly Gay Soldiers Perfect For Covert Ops (VIDEO)

Last night on "The Colbert Report," after Jon Stewart defended Stephen Colbert's Congressional testimony on his program, Colbert took some time to discuss another hot button political issue: The failed repeal of "Don't Ask Don't Tell."

First, Colbert celebrated his party's halting of the repeal of the military policy, which allows gays to serve in the military under the condition that sexuality is not discussed or displayed. "In your face, gays!" Colbert said, "But not in a gay way."

Still, Colbert acknowledges the current problems with the DADT system, such as Major Mike Almy's case, a gay soldier who was ousted from the military after private emails were read under suspicion of his homosexuality, which they proved. John McCain said simply that invading privacy under these circumstances is "not policy."

"Of course, the military never does anything that's not official policy," Colbert said, following with headlines about a secret war in Yemen, and a snatch and grab operation in Pakistan, among other secretive missions. Colbert's solution? Why not transfer all gay soldiers to these "non-existent units?"

"Allow them to be openly gay," Colbert said, "But make them stay in the closet for being soldiers."

Based on years of having to live a double life and adopt local customs "like pretending to like a football team," Colbert believes many of our nation's gay soldiers already have sufficient training for secret missions. Who better to conduct our covert ops?

WATCH:

Comments

[LMPE]

11:35 PM on 09/29/2010

Oh, McCain...don't you have a cloud to yell at?
http://ramblingfish.com/__oneclick_uploads/2008/08/grandpa_simpson_yelling_at_cloud_001.jpg

[LMPE]

11:46 PM on 09/29/2010

I just found a better one:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3072/2704635781_8915dd3d78.jpg

[Doc Scott]

04:37 PM on 09/28/2010

Only Stephen Colbert can point out the comic irony in the military's DADT policy and the callousness of the republican support for it. His observation that gay soldiers already have sufficient training for secret missions is brilliant: "Who better to conduct our covert ops?"

In fact, the conservatives he so effectively lampoons showed their insensitivity to to the needs of those who are not white heterosexuals twice in one day in Congress. They accomplished their objective of stalling the repeal of the military's DADT policy and blocking the Senate from considering the DREAM Act which would provide undocumented immigrants, particularly Latinos, a pathway to citizenship. The self-centered and intolerant Republicans that Colbert parodies so effectively waste precious time and the tax payers money while they stall and attempt to block legislation that would benefit people that need their help but whom they don't like very much precisely because they are different. Unfortunately, this behavior is predictable and a further sign of the rising tide of intolerance in the U.S. that is manifested in the ideology and divisive rhetoric of the tea party and many in the GOP.

Sad indeed, but thank you, Colbert, for revealing the bitter and brilliant comic irony in it all. Bravo!

[JtownesquireAgain]

08:22 AM on 09/29/2010

"undocumented immigrants"...you mean illegal immigrants....already have a pathway to citizenship..it's the same pathways many many many immigrants use EVERYDAY to become citizens and reside in this country legally!

[QuietNetworker]

11:13 AM on 09/30/2010

He meant exactly what he typed you Jones Town Kool-aid drinking xenophobe.

[derrickhoyle]

03:36 PM on 09/28/2010

Thanks for the McCain clips....it's scary to think he could have been POTUS now.

[eddw88]

09:12 PM on 09/28/2010

Yep, we would have had another child to lead us.

[MadMoll]

10:44 PM on 09/28/2010

No, we would have had his mommy.

[LastTexasRose]

11:03 PM on 09/28/2010

He would have been PINO: POTUS in name only
I don't think he has the mental or emotional capacity to be a good leader

[ThaGovna]

03:26 PM on 09/28/2010

Damn, this was quite funny. Literally laughing out loud over here.

[James Caroline]

02:44 PM on 09/28/2010

Crimean war veteran... and at 2:53... it's amazing to me that he can make me laugh about something that is so infuriating.

[LastTexasRose]

11:01 PM on 09/28/2010

That had to be the best line in there, Crimean War Vet LMAO
I think McDaddy lost it a long, long, time ago

[delta7777]

01:07 PM on 09/28/2010

.
"Why not transfer all gay soldiers to these "non-existent units?"

hint----there may be some of them there already
.

[skantea]

06:13 AM on 10/01/2010

Just ask Kay Griggs.

[Artos]

12:44 PM on 09/28/2010

There are a whole lot of things that weren't supposed to be policy in the Military but with a wink and a nod they happen anyway. Getting an "officially sanctioned" beating in Boot Camp, not policy, but with wink and a nod, a done deal. They say it's no longer done, but who knows. 

[mahaganapati]

12:31 PM on 09/28/2010

uh-oh.... McCain skipped a groove again! someone bump the Victrola please.

[Tails]

03:04 PM on 09/28/2010

What's Victrola?

You kids and your damn music...

[mahaganapati]

02:58 AM on 09/30/2010

use the magic google, and your answer will come to you through a series of tubes. what's victrola? ha ha ha!

[DBtv]

12:19 PM on 09/28/2010

More brilliance from an incredible satirist.

We are lucky to have Dr. Colbert.

[rbot]

01:36 PM on 09/28/2010

Agreed. I am constantly amazed by his wit, though written elsewhere, his delivery is brilliant!

[ArkayMI]

04:27 PM on 09/30/2010

Ditto. I particularly liked hid deadpan delivery at the congressional hearings. His adopted persona fools several cons into thinking he is a con himself.

[ArkayMI]

04:27 PM on 09/30/2010

'his' and not 'hid'.

[Arrech]

11:39 AM on 09/28/2010

Watch out with the stereotyping.

[hackerblaster]

11:06 AM on 09/28/2010

Jamming our gaydar! ROFL

[Tails]

03:01 PM on 09/28/2010

It's oddly not hard with baggers. They tend to jam their own by wearing TriCorner Hats with football jerseys and Dockers shorts.

[QuietNetworker]

11:16 AM on 09/30/2010

It's funny you should say that, I was a a bagger event trying to engage them and one of the two funny moments was when my husband called me and I disengaged to take the call saying, "Pardon me a moment it's my husband"...

And the two baggers looked at eachother as I was turning to walk away and said in lowered voice, "Did he just say what I think he did?"

[chrish]

11:05 AM on 09/28/2010

I still think there should be a massive "coming out" day in the military, from top to bottom.

[Chihuahua express]

11:30 AM on 09/28/2010

I completely agree that there should be a massive "coming out" day and force the military to a showdown ...
They will not have the ability to process discharges and fight useless wars at the same time ...
would be a complete breakdown in the military system bringing our military to it's knees ....
Then allow all homophobes to retire and crawl back into the backyard bunkers.

[Arrech]

11:38 AM on 09/28/2010

And versatiles :-)

[lbrillante]

10:58 AM on 09/28/2010

Fear of the gay, muslims, illegal immigrants coming to take your jobs, liberals, mosques, sharia law... and whatever else the republicans can think of to create 'fear'... is really just a way for them to distract everyone from the lousy job they did running the country. They figure if you are afraid enough you will act against your own self interest and choose them because they are bullies.

Fight the Crazy!

Please ‘like’ and help us get the word out on this facebook page to defeat John Boehner and Hold the House!

http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Kick-John-Boehner-Out-Of-Congress-Hold-The-House/149196308454642

Spread some enthusiasm! Pass it On. Thanks

[QuietNetworker]

11:17 AM on 09/30/2010

How about discard some apathy, as I think I might be willing to discard some apathy, but spreading some enthusiasm? I'm not sure enthusiasm can be spread so thin...

[Duane Hanes]

10:40 AM on 09/28/2010

The only thing more terrifying than a gay serviceman (or woman) to the Tea Partiers and their vast array of right wing loonies is the ACLU. Or maybe kittens. Yeah, kittens are a severe threat to the safety of every red-blooded, gun-totin', Muslim-killing American heterosexual conservative. RELOAD!

[SmileDocMiami]

12:46 PM on 09/28/2010

F&F

[pbnyc59]

10:27 AM on 09/28/2010

Say what you will about his Congress bit last week, Colbert is brilliant when it comes to mocking the unjust.

[ChrisDWard]

11:43 AM on 09/28/2010

Amen!!!!