STUPID CRIMINALS: Intercourse, PA Judge Cited For Hiding Condoms In Acorns

OK, see if you can follow us on this one.

Isaac A. Stoltzfus, a 58 year-old district judge from Intercourse, PA was cited Tuesday on disorderly conduct charges after he hid condoms inside of acorns and handed them out to random women in the state Capitol complex, the AP reports.

Yes, a judge (as in a member of the judicial system) in INTERCOURSE, Pennsylvania, hid condoms inside of acorns and gave them to unsuspecting women. It doesn't get much weirder than that.

Perhaps Stoltzfus thought he had been appointed as the new sex-ed teacher or "official creep" of PA instead of district judge when he gave out the surprises. Or maybe the acorns were meant as some convoluted pollination joke. Either way, it's one of the more ridiculous "stupid criminals" stories we've come across in a while.

Comments

[heavysole]

05:41 PM on 10/02/2010

They could stamp the outside "Intercourse, PA" and sell them as souvenirs!

[heavysole]

05:37 PM on 10/02/2010

I got a handful of these about 15 years ago from a friend as a joke. They were called "rubber nuts". I passed them out to other friends for laughs, they were great.

[ena]

04:24 PM on 10/02/2010

You made that up Katla.

[GraniteSkyline]

07:33 PM on 10/01/2010

Here is a photo of the acorns:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/pennsylvania/acorns

IT GETS CRAZIER!!! And here is a link to a story about how he did it as a joke--and now the ACLU is involved!

"While we think that passing out condom-stuffed acorns may be one of the more creative ways to send a message whether it was a dirty joke or a plea for safe sex, leafleting to get your point across is older than the Constitution and it's protected by it," said ACLU staff attorney Val Burch. "We think this was protected speech and that the Capitol Police violated the constitution by citing [Stoltzfus]."

http://www.pennlive.com/news/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1285807211322330.xml&coll=1

[PAProf]

10:17 PM on 10/02/2010

Even with the photo at the Smoking Gun website, I am still completely confused as to how a condom can be stuffed or concealed within an acorn. What does it look like at the actual moment of handing it to someone? And even if it does like an acorn and just an acorn, still, why is this person handing me an acorn? There isn't enough description here for me to really visualize what went on.

[GraniteSkyline]

07:22 PM on 10/01/2010

What a nut jobber! But I bet James O'Keefe is mad he didn't think of it first.

Here is a photo of the acorns:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/buster/pennsylvania/acorns

IT GETS CRAZIER!!! And here is a link to a story about how he did it as a joke--and now the ACLU is involved!

"While we think that passing out condom-stuffed acorns may be one of the more creative ways to send a message whether it was a dirty joke or a plea for safe sex, leafleting to get your point across is older than the Constitution and it's protected by it," said ACLU staff attorney Val Burch. "We think this was protected speech and that the Capitol Police violated the constitution by citing [Stoltzfus]."

http://www.pennlive.com/news/patriotnews/index.ssf?/base/news/1285807211322330.xml&coll=1

[Rendy Bee Mulyono]

05:07 AM on 10/01/2010

is it on ebay/etsy yet?

[rivahcat]

04:51 PM on 09/30/2010

Wait, what?? This IS from the Onion, isn't it??

[vincefango]

03:46 PM on 09/30/2010

It's a very sleepy Amish town...perhaps that's why it is an issue. Very cool souvenirs though.

[EasyDoesi]

02:06 PM on 09/30/2010

You can't make this stuff up!

[Crippapur]

01:29 PM on 09/30/2010

I suppose he may have felt that if anyone was going to be "popping a nut" they should do it safely.

[tttony]

12:39 PM on 09/30/2010

I'd hate to have this nut-job hear any kind of case I was involved in.

[FPhoebe]

10:43 AM on 09/30/2010

I don't really understand this article. Were they used? Why would you put condoms in acorns? How could you even do that? There doesn't seem to be much explanation as to why he did it...anybody know the reason?

[heavysole]

05:39 PM on 10/02/2010

I got some of these years ago, they were strictly for laughs. In order for condoms to be safe, they have to be properly packaged and also be marked with expiry dates as the properties of the rubber can change over time, and no longer be depended upon to do their job.

[ontariogirl]

10:28 AM on 09/30/2010

Well I guess that proves he was nuts.

[Bernie Keating]

10:15 AM on 09/30/2010

Oh god, not another Acorn Scandal!

[bobbiisadukefan]

10:07 AM on 09/30/2010

Seriously? Oh never mind!