'Sassy Gay Friend' Assures Troubled Teens: It Gets Better (VIDEO)

The startling number of suicides by gay teens who have been mercilessly bullied has prompted an amazing out-pour of support from the gay community in the form of short inspirational videos titled "It Gets Better." Brian Gallivan, better known as the always hilarious "Sassy Gay Friend" in The Second City Network's series of the same name, made this addition to the project where he asks gay teens considering suicide his trademark question: "What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?"

Both in character in out, Gallivan provides this heartfelt message that things truly do "get better," and that like in his video where he stops Juliet from killing herself over Romeo, he wishes he could magically appear and make all suicidal teens realize how much of "stupid bitch" they're being by thinking of ending it. Listen to his uplifting story below, and check out all of his fabulous videos from the Second City Network for more context.

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Comments

[stayinschool]

01:28 PM on 10/12/2010

I miss Will and Grace! I don't know what gay people thought of it. But, I loved that show.

[fozzierocks]

12:41 PM on 10/12/2010

I remember having friends who were bullied in high school. The great thing is that eventually people become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Great video.

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[SwimToCenter]

11:42 AM on 10/12/2010

Very nice. Great job !

The GLBT community needs specific gay mentoring and support because it's a qualitatively Different minority than say race, or religion. When one is gay one can rarely turn to the supports that other minorities turn to for support such as their parents, church, other authority figures (coaches, teachers), or even friends.

All of these traditional supports typically reject or "discipline" gay kids. Jewish or catholic kids can turn to their parents & community; black and brown kids to their parents, community....
As an "invisible minority" in the context of social contempt where the epithet "Fa.G" batters ubiquitously, a GLBT kid is alone and must try much harder to find support. This is why GLBT needs special support, outreach, and mentoring such as we see here.
Let's hope these kids have access to internet...

[scarletxoxoxo]

09:27 AM on 10/12/2010

This is nice:)

[jplanner]

12:53 AM on 10/12/2010

I'm not gay but even I could have used the message "it gets better" in high school. Because I was miserable. And it turns out alot of people I knew were. I've said that line to middle and high schoolers pretty often now (none gay that I know of). Can't imagine what it'd be like with additional "difference" of being Gay.

[KJLSanDiego]

11:53 PM on 10/11/2010

Sweet and funny!
I want this guy as MY sassy gay friend!
I'd appreciate not being referred to as "hey bitch" though!
Maybe a "What's up girlfriend?" instead?

[JerryAguy]

07:58 PM on 10/11/2010

Many more kids were killed or commited suicide this week who wern't gay that we won't hear about due to bullying and the like, I think sassy gay is trying to push his own stock up on this thing. How many adults are doing the same things from loss of job, money, home and hope.

[Reptileman]

03:06 PM on 10/11/2010

I just want to point out that straight kids get bullied too. Shao Khann!

[colred]

07:01 PM on 10/11/2010

Of course they get bullied too and that is equally wrong, but when a straight kid tells someone there is frequently compassion. Not always the case for gay kids. Frequently the response is lackluster because the thought is, "Why wouldn't you get picked on, you are so gay?" Or the gay kids just never confide in anyone because they feel that there will be no compassion or help because they are gay. Telling gay kids it will get better doesn't mean the others are being ignored or that we don't know that bullying is a problem for many. It just means that right now they need immediate attention. Then these kids will be ok to help others as well.

[Bruce Tabb]

12:49 PM on 10/11/2010

You're the best Sassy Gay Friend, I wish I had you giving me on the spot advice :)

[mollymac]

11:12 AM on 10/11/2010

Fear creates bullies and it also creates victims. However, the homophobic comments being spewed across the airwaves by the rightwing media is fueling the fire. Kids will not bully if they are given a sense that all people are basically OK. If the Becks, Limbaughs, Angle's, Palin's etc. would take care of their own spiritual wounds, maybe they would find some peace within themselves.

[enlightenedgirl]

10:11 AM on 10/11/2010

I couldn't imagine being bullied because you were gay. Kids these days are so cruel. Parents need to ask themselves whether or not they have a bully living in their home and address the situation, now.

[jplanner]

12:54 AM on 10/12/2010

kids OUR days were cruel too.

[candygarland]

09:13 AM on 10/11/2010

I watched a show this weekend with Joan Rivers hosting ( Fashion Police) and she was so funny and used this as a line when showing an outfit that Eva Mendes was wearing. Funny stuff!

[valeskas]

08:31 AM on 10/11/2010

Love what he said, many more people from the entertainment world should speak out, because many talented people who are gay or lesbians work for that business. He said it gets better, but when you are a teenager and feel that hate, life can be so hard. A friend of mine went through that and when I saw how he suffered, my heart broke for him. He is fine now, it took a while to get there, when young you want it all and it does not happen that way. Believe in yourself, try to ignore the haters and find a proffesion that you love. Try to find moral support through friends and family and never forget there will be better times.

[Victoria-nola]

06:47 AM on 10/11/2010

I love my Sassy Gay Friend! thank you dahling.

[Leniere Miley]

03:38 AM on 10/11/2010

I generally don't like the SGF videos. I think they perpetuate a stereotype with which everyone is familiar...and comfortable.

At the same time, I know that the gay community - like society at large is inclusive of diverse, unique individuals. One thing I've learned from effeminate gay men is that they often cannot hide who they are. You can shove that level of flamboyance in the closet. You can try...but it's very, very hard. Lacking a hiding place, effeminate gay men are on the front lines of our battle with homophobes. While their slightly more butch...or mainstream brethren hide who they are, they stay true to themselves, and often take the lumps for it.

For adolescents, the need to fit in is intense, and sense of self is quite fragile. To the extent this condition changes as we grow and learn more about the world and ourselves, I would submit that "it" doesn't necessarily get better, we do. Ideally, we grow to learn that we are important, valuable, and deserving of full happy lives.

Homophobes will always be around. Until politicians can't earn points for homophobic legislation, that may never change. Hopefully how we respond, both as individuals and as a society, will continue to change for the better.

[SheaSF]

09:13 AM on 10/11/2010

I like what you wrote here. There are men and women who can't "pass" and are targeted by other insecure people who lash out at what they don't understand and fear.

I think it is important to point out, as part of the educational dialogue, that this is really an issue of gender discrimination. Those individuals singled-out for attack often don't fit the very rigid American standards of masculine for men, or feminine for women. Many are homosexual, but the standards are so ridiculous that even people who don't identify as gay are attacked as if they are.

Society is getting better, but you are right: No one trying to find their place in it should wait around for that. If only kids in high school could have the perspective one gains as soon as he leaves it.

Fanned.

[mollymac]

11:15 AM on 10/11/2010

However, the stereotype was used as satire. It does reach quite a few people who do fit in to that genre. Please, let us not demean his message because he uses a scarf. The words were oh so powerful. Bless him for speaking out!