The Religious Wisdom That Comes From Middle Age

By Cathleen Falsani
Religion News Service

(RNS) I recently crossed that dreaded threshold into middle age, and it got me thinking about what, if any, spiritual wisdom I might have accumulated in my 40 years in this mortal coil of ours.

Here are a few things I've learned -- from experience, from other people and (I hope) from God:

1. Begin each day by looking in the mirror and saying, "It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me." While looking in the mirror, try not to judge yourself. You are beautifully and wondrously made. Period.

2. Do not be afraid of doubt. Certainty -- not doubt -- is the opposite of faith.

3. Often we must make a choice: You can be kind or you can be right. Choose kindness.

4. God will not fit in a box of our making, or anyone else's.

5. The things we think we know about God usually say more about us than about God.

6. Perfect love casts out fear. And even imperfect love does a pretty good job.

7. Jesus is the water of life. Stay hydrated.

8. Listen to children. They know more about God than we do.

9. We can learn the most from the people we think are the least like us.

10. God doesn't believe in "us" and "them."

11. God chooses all of us.

12. Pay attention to the things that bring a lump to your throat or a tear to your eye; they indicate the Holy is drawing closer.

13. God does and will use any and all means possible to get your attention.

14. Pay attention. Listen to your life. All moments are key moments.

15. God is a go-between who makes connections for us with the people we'd never connect with otherwise.

16. God can be found just as powerfully between people -- in relationships -- as in people.

17. God doesn't "give" people hardships, heartaches or other horrors. But God walks with us through hardship, heartache and horror.

18. God is with the poor. We should be, too.

19. Whether you believe in God doesn't make a lick of difference to God. God still is and still loves you, even if you don't believe it.

20. Just like sunshine, rain, wind and the stars, God's grace is for everyone.

21. Grace is the oxygen of religious life. Without grace, religion can suffocate you.

22. Sometimes being grace for another person means holding space for them until they're ready to move into it.

23. If you happen to be in the room when Grace starts to dance, you should probably dance, too.

24. Prayer doesn't change God's mind, but it can change ours.

25. All truth is God's truth, no matter who says it or where it comes from. If it's true, it's from God.

26. None is worthy but all are welcome in God's house. So what part of "all" don't you understand?

27. When Jesus said, "Turn the other cheek," he didn't offer a caveat such as, "Unless they're really mean, wrong, offensive, stupid, ugly or your enemy."

28. God doesn't sweat the small stuff, but doesn't mind helping us out when we do.

29. God has only one enemy: Hatred.

30. Every good, beautiful, perfect, inspiring, moving, joyful, sustaining, edifying, unifying, loving, gracious, whimsical, happy, life-giving, soul-stirring, paradigm-shifting, kind, generous alive thing is a gift from God.

31. If you can pry your sweaty, white-knuckled hands off the reigns of your life and trust God to take them, it'll get better.

32. Sometimes when you think you can't do it, if you just lean in the right direction, it's enough.

33. When Jesus fed a crowd of 5,000 with two fish and five loaves of bread, the miracle didn't happen until his disciples gave away the two fish and five loaves of bread.

34. Usually God doesn't hand us our luggage until we're about to board the plane.

35. When the student is ready, the teacher appears.

36. When you start making plans like you're in charge, God begins to chuckle.

37. God has a tremendous sense of humor and irony.

38. Faith is a gift, just like the ability to tap dance, surf, make a souffle, play by ear and breathe.

39. There is nothing we can do that would make God throw up God's hands, stomp out of the room and slam the door.

40. God loves you. You can't do anything to make God love you less. And you can't do anything to make God love you more.

Cathleen Falsani is the author of "Sin Boldly: A Field Guide for Grace" and the recent book, "The Dude Abides: The Gospel According to the Coen Brothers."

Comments

[ArthurTwoShedsJackson]

08:15 PM on 10/19/2010

Fixed:

7. Jesus is the water of life. Christians are far more likley to support waterboarding torture. Coincidence? I think not. ;-)

[BlackYowe]

01:58 PM on 10/19/2010

I have found deeper faith in middle age and much joy.

[TOS100]

11:17 AM on 10/19/2010

I gave up on invisible friends long before I hit puberty.

It's still astonishing that grown adults still believe in a god who intercedes in affairs. Look around for a minute. If god is with the poor, then he knows they are poor and suffering, and is allowing it.

Don't tell me about free will. Judas not only didn't have free will, but he was punished for what his god made him do. That is, if you buy into this mythology.

[impermanentlife]

02:15 PM on 10/19/2010

I always thought that this was a problem. I grew up in a nasty, racist family on my father's side who told me that the "Jews killed Jesus". A sibling echoed this to me when I brought home a Jewish boyfriend in my mid-30's. I wanted to say, "They had to or you would not have your religion!" Instead, I left and wondered how I was able to get out of such ignorance. BTW, ignorance is not bliss, they are miserable and paranoid people waiting for the second coming.

[logicanada]

12:26 AM on 10/19/2010

You'd think by the time you reached middle age you would stop believing in ancient myths.
And as for your kids, well, they believe in Santa and Peter Pan too.

[impermanentlife]

05:18 PM on 10/18/2010

"The rug drew the room together!" The Dude.

You take the Dude's philosophy to heart. To you, God draws a life together. Have you met Jesus on the road yet?

[Roses]

04:56 PM on 10/18/2010

These are beautiful thoughts.
It's interesting too, that holy men or women used to be the older ones in the group or clan or tribe.

[H P]

10:31 AM on 10/18/2010

Interesting bit of philosophy. If you read:4. God will not fit in a box of our making, or anyone else's.... she then goes into putting God in a box.
the items that don't mention God have some meditation value actually:

2. Do not be afraid of doubt. Certainty -- not doubt -- is the opposite of faith.

3. Often we must make a choice: You can be kind or you can be right. Choose kindness.
9. We can learn the most from the people we think are the least like us.
14. Pay attention. Listen to your life. All moments are key moments.

[dubbleplusgood]

07:09 AM on 10/17/2010

"The Wisdom That Comes From The Middle Ages" would be more accurate.

[A-Superstitionist]

12:39 PM on 10/16/2010

These 40 statement start from the fallacy that gods exist despite the fact that there is no shred of verifiable and falsifiable evidence that any god exists. Some people finally grow up and conclude that everything we know about the universe and life in it - where higher complexity evolves from lower complexity over time - is so incredibly at odds with the primitive concept of a god that the finally free themselves from this enslaving concept. This makes science education the biggest enemy of virus we call god. No wonder that school boards in Texas spare no effort to keep dumbing down their students.

[A-Superstitionist]

12:29 PM on 10/16/2010

For many people it takes until middle age to rid themselves of abusive childhood indoctrination. Unfortunately, it takes more than a lifetime for most people.

[ManiDeli]

11:30 PM on 10/15/2010

"God is the most unpleasant character in all fiction."

[Hillbilly49]

05:48 PM on 10/15/2010

For many are called, but few are chosen
—Matthew 22:14, KJV

[rich3324]

12:59 PM on 10/15/2010

In my middle age I finally came out as an atheist.

[Debbie338]

01:52 PM on 10/15/2010

Same here. I had started on that path when I was ten, but you just didn't say stuff like that without suffering social consequences until the last few years. Coming out as an atheist would get you shunned in school and in business.

[TYRANNASAURUS]

04:23 PM on 10/15/2010

BRAVO................. IT'S WHATS REAL THAT COUNTS...........

[TYRANNASAURUS]

11:52 AM on 10/15/2010

OF COURSE YOU WON'T HEAR IT FROM THE CHRISTIANS BUT THE MIDDLE OR WHAT IS CALLED THE DARK AGES WAS BROUGHT ON BY THE POPE AND CATHOLIC CHURCH WHEN THE BISHOP OF ROME IN THE FOURTH CENTURY HAD THE LIBRARIES IN ALEXANDRIA BURNED..... DESTROYING MOST ALL KNOWLEDGE SO HE COULD REWRITE HISTORY ACCORDING TO THE WAY HE WANTED IT TO WORK FOR THE CHURCH.

[Dutch Flegenheimer]

12:43 PM on 10/15/2010

I think she was talking about being middle aged.

Also, capslock is cruise control for awesome.

[Debbie338]

01:53 PM on 10/15/2010

LOL!! I can't believe T is really confusing The Middle Ages with being middle-aged. Should I have typed that in all caps? :-)

[Hillbilly49]

05:52 PM on 10/15/2010

"There is another form of temptation, even more fraught with danger. This is the disease of curiosity. It is this which drives us to try and discover the secrets of nature, those secrets which are beyond our understanding, which can avail us nothing and which man should not wish to learn."
— St. Augustine (354 - 430), one of the "great" church fathers, Confessions

[Debbie338]

09:18 AM on 10/16/2010

Wow. Did he really say that? What's it from? I'd really like to use that quote.

[phnxrth]

11:14 AM on 10/15/2010

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