British journalist Piers Morgan has been keeping some sort of a diary for the Daily Mail and he transcribed a conversation with Kate Moss from two weeks ago in which the supermodel demanded that he apologize for being an asshole and then kicked him. Some excerpts:
'Apologise,' she demanded.
'Being an ***hole all your life.'
It seemed a fair enough charge.
'I'll do that if you apologise for kicking me.'
I cleared my throat. 'I'm sorry for being an ***hole all my life.'
'Your turn, Kate.'
'No, I'm not apologising to you. Forget it.'
'OK, then I'll have to retract my own apology.'
Sir Philip Green appeared. 'You two made up yet?'
'Not quite,' I said.
At which point I felt a Louboutin-pointed foot lash out under the table and collide with the table leg.
Then Morgan insisted Moss ask Naomi Campbell if he is a nice guy.
I phoned Miss Campbell.
'Naomi, please tell Kate what a nice man I am.'
'OK,' said Naomi. 'I will.'
I passed my phone to Kate, and could see her face scrunch into a tight ball of disbelief.
'What? No, he's not. Is he? Really?'
I smiled. 'See? Told you.'
HuffPost Lifestyle is a daily newsletter that will make you happier and healthier — one email at a time. Learn more