The Onion: Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister (VIDEO)

In another hilariously accurate report from The Onion News Network, we learn of a missing college girl that matches the description of every sorority sister in the United States. The hopes that Jessica, who was last seen wearing "a tank top, Ugg boots and blue sweatpants with 'Pink' written across the butt," will return are slim. Every single "nutritional sciences major with side bangs who loves 'America's Next Top Model' has responded to the search, with no luck in finding her so far. The search continues, but DNA testing now looks like the only option.

WATCH:

Thousands Of Girls Match Description Of Missing Sorority Sister

Comments

[Kevin Fox01]

02:47 AM on 11/22/2010

"just in, the huffington post created entirely from articles ripped out of other newspapers." posted by huffington post from the onion... lol

im not sure irony gets any better
(insert internet debate about is this really ironic? here)

[ChumpChicken]

12:13 PM on 10/21/2010

as an Ohio State University faculty member, I have to admit this is quite hilarious !!!!!!!!!

[stormy7]

01:46 PM on 10/20/2010

Not funny considering how many women are missing and pretty much all of them end up dead at the hands of a man.

[Paul The Octopus]

03:39 PM on 10/20/2010

Relax!

[apartoflife]

04:23 PM on 10/20/2010

OMG

[progressivegreg]

01:30 PM on 10/20/2010

That is so funny! We are all individuals but respond well to peer pressure! The Huffpost dig at the end was hilarious!

[malek1850]

10:53 AM on 10/20/2010

Except for the girl whose privates stink http://www.buzzfeed.com/koolnewsblog/her-vagina-smells-1dgl

[Javalation]

10:39 AM on 10/20/2010

Hey, I think I know that girl. Now let me just think, where did we put her???

[SickHippie]

12:46 PM on 10/21/2010

Check in the hot tub, under the pool table, in your roommate's bed, the balcony, and the Girls Gone Wild van.

[TorontoNDP]

09:39 AM on 10/20/2010

Ha! So true about Huffi Post!

[KIVPossum]

06:08 AM on 10/20/2010

Cute, but I loved the Newcastle commercial

[havenner]

12:42 AM on 10/20/2010

The best part was the HuffPost slug at the end.

[astroup]

10:39 PM on 10/19/2010

Yes, my lord Mudd.

[arkadie7]

10:09 PM on 10/19/2010

I thought this was a picture of the Faux News daily lineup.

[helenwheels]

11:42 AM on 10/20/2010

Ha!!!

[SpencerDeck]

08:58 PM on 10/19/2010

I love the shot they take at huffpost at the end. Hilarious.

[f8doggie]

08:27 PM on 10/19/2010

I love the Onion. I get a good chuckle whenever a story comes out.

[NormalAmericanMan]

08:49 PM on 10/19/2010

Especially when Fox or someone picks up one of the stories as real.

[cbvani]

08:00 PM on 10/19/2010

Ha - Should come with a caveat, though: SORORITY student.

[Melissa Josey Parker]

07:16 PM on 10/19/2010

is that a real story??

[Edward Nikolas Anthony]

07:30 PM on 10/19/2010

Yes (rolls eyes)

[TMMONE]

08:08 PM on 10/19/2010

I don't think Melissa will get your sarcasm. Poor lost little girl, and I don't mean Jessica.

[NormalAmericanMan]

08:50 PM on 10/19/2010

Yes, Melissa. Go read the rest of The Onion www.theonion.com to get caught up with the rest of what is really going on.