HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads -- Conversation Starters For Your Family Dinner

In her new book, The Family Dinner, Laurie David talks about the importance of families making a ritual of sitting down to dinner together, and how family dinners offer a great opportunity for meaningful discussions about the day's news. "Dinner," she says, "is as much about digestible conversation as it is about delicious food."

We couldn't agree more. So HuffPost has joined with Laurie to launch a new feature we're calling HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads. Every Friday afternoon, just in time for dinner, our editors will highlight one of the most compelling news stories of the week -- stories that will spark a lively discussion among the whole family.

The family can gather around the laptop, smartphone, or iPad -- or just print out the post and pass it around the table. Each Dinner Download will end with a question or two that we hope will get everyone thinking and sharing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

This week, everyone was talking about the midterm elections, in which Republicans gained control of the House of Representatives and added a number of seats in the Senate. President Obama described the results as "a shellacking" -- a slang term for a thorough beating (no one is sure how the word, which originally referred to applying a coat of shiny polish to something, came to mean the same as "thrashing," "drubbing" or "pounding." Bonus discussion: how do you think "shellacking" came to mean a big defeat?)

One of the key factors in the outcome of the election was who turned out to vote - and who didn't. In 2008, more young people voted than old people. But this week, twice as many voters 65 or older showed up at the polls than voters 18 to 29. That's a very big change!

Why do you think so few young people turned out to vote this time? What would you do to encourage more young people to vote?

Another interesting development this year was the way some of the losing candidates reacted. There is a long tradition in American politics of defeated candidates calling the winner to concede and congratulate them. But as campaigns have gotten nastier, with millions of dollars spent on TV commercials that paint your opponent in very negative ways, that tradition seems to be in danger of coming to an end.

One losing candidate brought a baseball bat to his concession speech Tuesday night and had some menacing words for his opponent. Another insisted that her victorious opponent watch her 30-minute campaign commercial. And one candidate decided to not concede at all, saying the race was "too close to call" -- even though she ended up losing by over 700,000 votes.

Do you think it's wrong not to admit that you've lost and warmly congratulate the person who beat you? Or do you think after saying mean and nasty things to each other month after month, it's phony to put on a big smile and act like everyone is good friends? Is it important to be a good loser?

For more tips and recipes, check out The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David and Kirstin Uhrenholdt.

Comments

[Scentedflower]

12:11 AM on 11/07/2010

Don't talk when you are eating.
Just enjoy the flavour and the food.
Enjoy eating and don't discuss topics that may generate emotional juices in your stomach.
If it is good, just say it is delicious .
If bad, just eat half and say you are not that hungry.
Never let some one to tell you what you should do at your family dinner.
Take care.

[sherri4real]

12:16 PM on 11/06/2010

Some of the best moments in British films are the table scenes - lively, passionate discussions about issues and controversies. An English friend told me, as a child, she was required her to come to the table with a topic of discussion. My family gathers and shares meals together, but I work hard to generate meaningful conversations beyond schedules. Thanks for the inspiration!

[southernblue]

09:43 AM on 11/06/2010

My family rarely sits down for dinner anymore. Arianna, you have inspired me! When my oldest child returns from college (she's studying in China!) for Christmas break -- I'm doing this. Great job!

[EXAbramsMasterGunner]

09:14 AM on 11/06/2010

It's interesting to read the varying opinions from people of different walks of life and those who have lived or are from other countries.

I feel that society has evolved differently in nations, but traditions seem to still hold value in many other countries.

I believe the US is all about instant gratification and many do not take the time to enjoy the important things in life. Cooking and eating are just several aspects of this mindset - throw the food in the microwave or oven and your done or make something that will be ready in about 10 minutes. Like many here, the fun and togetherness comes from the experience of everyone getting involved. Preparing a good dinner takes time, especially more than a few minutes. As with my 12 years living in Europe; going out to eat was an event - you enjoyed the time with family and/or friends for hours. There was no rush in getting your food to you or pushing you out the door. My family and I loved our time in Europe and the full experience of going out to dine.

In many homes the dining table is within viewing range of a television. People just don't spend the time to study or research issues anymore. It's easier to get their opinions or 'facts' from a 20 second sound bite.

We still prepare our dinner as a family, eat together, and always have fun and/or thought provoking discussions at every meal.

[yannb]

08:36 AM on 11/06/2010

Coming from European family, we never needed anyone to give us "debate pointers" to have animated discussions around the table every evening. And a greater debate on Sunday at lunch. All of this even though my parents left school at the age of 14 to get to work and never went to college. This is yet another between Europe and America. In the EU (at least in France), families sit together every night for dinner and take their time to eat and talk. In the US, families eat in small groups of one or two members, usually in their car, standing in the kitchen, or in front of the TV.

[traveling1]

12:59 PM on 11/06/2010

That's a very big generalization there.... I grew up in America having family dinners every night and talking about everyone's day and current events, I got my love of history and geography from my Dad and those discussions. It was just my daughter and me for many years but we had dinner every night talking of many topics as well.

[Sajwert]

07:58 AM on 11/06/2010

That any family would actually NEED a guide for things to discuss at the dinner table should boggle the mind of everyone.

I grew up in a family that would NEVER think of not eating dinner together at the family table, and would rarely have the courage to complain about what they had to eat. The conversations would flow about all sorts of things and everyone who wanted took part. When I had my own family, we carried on that tradition, and very rarely did we not eat together as a family.

Far too many people have had TVs in their kitchen blaring away during mealtime. No conversation available other than "pass the salt" sort. The family schedules far too many things at the time of the evening meal and while little Susie is going to dance class at 6:30, Willy Boy is going to football practice at 5. God forbid the family getting together once during the day should interrupt such more important things.

[Fi]

07:58 AM on 11/06/2010

We always had our meals together as a family, and whatever waif and stray was around on that particular day, the TV was always switched off.
I remember only a part of a prayer my Grandpa used to say at the dinner table, it always ended as
Lord, there is enough food on this table for 5, but there's 10 of us here to feed, I do wish I could remember the rest.

[cabinetmaker]

07:40 AM on 11/06/2010

does she think this little of her readers that they need dinner table talking points?

[sakredkow]

06:45 AM on 11/06/2010

I understand that many people keep their tv on during dinner. That's something we never did in our family. We had our meals together and generally enjoyed good conversation (including poetry readings!), television free.

[ShahEli]

04:57 AM on 11/06/2010

My family and I currently live in Italy where a blog such as this would leave all italians mystified, since eating together as a family and or with friends is such the norm. We , almost, always eat together as a family. My Six year old daughter protests when we do not! We discuss any topic, from swim lessons to current affairs
However it is not only the conversation that bring benefits to a family. Appreciating, cooking, and food, which is celebrated here, is also part of the pleasure.
Further still, i can not think of anything more enjoyable than big Sunday lunches, lasting for hours with friends, family and kids all sitting around the table together.
try it , it is amazing what you will discover!!

[conscioushope]

06:16 AM on 11/06/2010

Shah~

Beautiful!

We visited Italy a few years ago and fell in love with the Italian people and their wonderful culture. Americans could learn much from them.

I'm not much in favor of "scripted questions" to jump start family discussions. Seems rather stilted to me. Just eating together, being interested in one another, and let the conversation go where it may seems more authentic.

Proud to be your first fan!

[Jolimont]

02:54 AM on 11/06/2010

The reason why people don't sit around and talk over dinner in America is not that they wouldn't know what to talk about--and therefore need this silly HP feature. Americans don't talk over dinner because they are raised to be fundamentally selfish. I lived in America for 20 years (French originally, back in France now) and this is how it goes: one family member wants takeout from this one particular place, the other can't have gluten, a third has decided it's organic or bust, another one just wants to hang with her friends (or text them 1000 times a day) and daddy just wants to be left alone. Who in their right mind would want to cook for such a family?!!! You can't please them no matter what you do!

[stuck-in-paris]

08:58 AM on 11/06/2010

way to generalize a country!

[Jolimont]

04:09 PM on 11/06/2010

Are you saying my generalization isn't true?

[atcrossroads]

02:26 AM on 11/06/2010

Clearly some people miss the point. gulf coast vinaigrette thinks it is inconceivable for a family not to have dinner together. Sadly, it is all too conceivable. Few families have dinner together these days. And when they do, it is often in a hurry, or in front of the TV. Dinner discussion is inane and platonic. People don't know how to have meaningful conversations any more. And they don't know how to listen, either. How to respectfully disagree. How to try and see someone else's point of view. How to follow non-verbal clues. Children know nothing about their parents, parents know little about their children, and husbands and wives grow apart. The point of this article is 2fold. First, to reintroduce the concept of a family dinner. Small steps. Start with one dinner a week. Build on that. And talk. Ask each other about their day, their week. Listen to the answers, follow up on that. And discus issues that are of importance to your family, your community, your city, your country. The HP 'talking points' are merely a suggestion, because, absurd as it may sound, you will find a lot of families do not have any idea what to talk about if they are left alone without any external stimulus like work, chores, TV, the phones and the i-pods, etc. So, OrrinPR, come up with your own talking points, but make the effort. That is the main 'talking point'.

[celtics]

02:13 AM on 11/06/2010

Arianna, get a life. I can't believe you would ruin a family dinner with these kind of topics. I talk to many people who don't watch the news nearly as much as they used to because it can be such a downer. Why get more indigestion at dinner.

[3Nox]

01:24 AM on 11/06/2010

I think this is an excellent idea. Thank you. Such lovely, good times are shared daily around our table. I'll be looking up your topics often.

[OrrinPR]

12:07 AM on 11/06/2010

Wow, now dinner talking points from the Huff. People complain about Fox all the time for mindless, biased programs. Is this not the same? I bet most people don't even eat dinner with their families anymore. Here's a dinner conversation... Get together and talk about what needs to change to help the country. If you get into a disagreement, actually talk instead of name calling, and maybe spend a little time trying to understand why differing opinions and find sources to defend them. You actually might learn something. Commence the name calling.....

Now.