This Week's HuffPost Family Dinner Download: Veterans Day, Sacrifice, National Service

In her new book, The Family Dinner, Laurie David talks about the importance of families making a ritual of sitting down to dinner together, and how family dinners offer a great opportunity for meaningful discussions about the day's news. "Dinner," she says, "is as much about digestible conversation as it is about delicious food."

We couldn't agree more. So HuffPost has joined with Laurie to launch a new feature we're calling HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads. Every Friday afternoon, just in time for dinner, our editors highlight one of the most compelling news stories of the week -- stories that will spark a lively discussion among the whole family.

The family can gather around the laptop, smartphone, or iPad -- or just print out the post and pass it around the table. Each Dinner Download will end with a question or two that we hope will get everyone thinking and sharing their thoughts, feelings, and opinions.

This week, America observed Veterans Day. Most students and many workers had the day off. (Bonus points if you know the difference between Memorial Day and Veterans Day. **See answer below.)

But even though the United States is fighting wars in Afghanistan and Iraq, the day set aside to honor America's veterans often gets very little attention from the media. You were much more likely to hear about whether Kanye West and President Bush had buried the hatchet than you were about the hard times so many of America's veterans are experiencing.

Politicians from both parties like to talk about "supporting the troops." But did you know that 107,000 veterans were homeless each night last year? Or that some 300,000 veterans have come home from Afghanistan and Iraq suffering from something called PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome), a mental condition that makes it very hard for many veterans to put the war behind them and return to their normal lives?

Do you think we do enough to help America's soldiers when they come back from war? What do you think we could do to better honor their service and sacrifice? Do you know any kids in your school whose mother or father is in the military? What do you think it would be like to have a parent serving overseas?

At the moment, only people who volunteer serve in the U.S. military. In many countries, like Germany, Russia, and Israel, all young men are required to spend anywhere from six months to three years serving their country (Israel asks the same commitment from its young women). In some countries, this service has to be in the military; in others, people are given the choice of joining the military or serving their country by working at a local school, hospital, or nursing home, helping clean up their community, or by representing their nation as a foreign aid worker in another country.

Do you think we should have the same kind of requirement for national service here in America? If you were required to, how would you choose to serve your country? Do you think it's fair that, in some countries, boys are expected to serve and girls are not?

(**Answer to Bonus Question: Memorial Day honors soldiers who died in service of our country. Veterans Day honors living veterans of America's armed forces.)

To see last week's Family Dinner Download, click here.

Subscribe to receive HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads by email every Friday afternoon.

For more tips and recipes, check out The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David and Kirstin Uhrenholdt.

Comments

[mjeffn]

08:22 PM on 11/13/2010

I'd read the article but, it's time for me to go download some food.

[Alien Nation]

01:19 AM on 11/13/2010

This country needs a lot less rambos and a lot more doctors and educators.

[JHKH]

10:05 PM on 11/12/2010

This is the idea my son has: The US should have universal mandatory national military service -- no exceptions for any reason. Those who are physically challenged can work at desk jobs or computer jobs. Even mentally challenged can do menial work. No deferments for any reason. Universal means that every person of 18 - 20 serves regardless of income, race, social status, gender, sexual orientation, political orientation, religious orientation. Also, the path to becoming an officer should have to pass through this mandatory phase -- you don't get into West Point, Annapolis, or whatever until after you've done your two years national service. We won't need recruiters. I think it is brilliant because when the children and grandchildren of Congresspeople and cabinet members and judges are potential cannon fodder, we'll be more circumspect about going to war.

Would there be too many to assign all to military service? I don't know. It would be a nice dilemma to have -- maybe the second year could be spent in public service. The important thing is to be sure those who make the decision to send soldiers to war stand equal risk of it being their family on the front lines.

[JHKH]

03:37 PM on 11/13/2010

Your profanity is profound. But it certainly doesn't express your specific objections to his ideas. I will admit, I would have made him " f'off" in a boat if he'd ever been drafted or tried to join, because military service under current system is nothing anyone sane should enlist in. When military recruiters called him while in high school, I basically told them to "F'off" (nicely) by saying I wouldn't sign a release for him (he was only 16) to become cannon fodder for them. So, I am not coming from any sense of patriotic, America-love-it-or-leave-it notion.

[bisbeeornotbisbee]

11:25 AM on 11/14/2010

JHKH, fanned and faved.  I have been saying this for years.  I believe it's the best idea. How much do you want to bet that there'd be fewer wars, if ALL Americans were forced to serve?  I also cringe how few politicians nowadays have ever served.  It scares the chit out of me.  It's not a good thing.  (And Madeleine Albright's quote, "What's  the sense of having a good Army, if we don't use it?" or words to that effect.  Arrgggg, that still grates on my nerves!  Let the imperious byothches like that serve, especially in wartime, and see how long they remain so cavalier and condescending.)  Ohhh, this poor old vet could rant for hours.

I love the idea that no one could attend West Point, etc., until after they had served their two years.  Brilliant!  If only these ideas were put into practice.

The fact that many would have to live on little for many hours of work is also good.  Of course the rich would have their trust funds, etc., but they would be rubbing shoulders with those who did not have those advantages.  Furthermore, the elites would learn that their lives might be saved by a have-not; it's important for them to realize they have a vested interest in this country, other than money and perks.  Hugs and kisses to your son.

[TXfemmom]

10:01 PM on 11/12/2010

My son is a Veteran.  He was a nuclear chemist on a fast attack submarine for six years.  He had planned to make the Navy a career, but on his way to work on his motorcycle in Pearl Harbor, a lady in a minivan, talking on her cell phone hit him and sent him careening across the freeway.  Fortunately, it was the day after Thanksgiving and traffic was light and a very aware fellow slowed and prevented others from hitting him  His top-rated helmet slid across the freeway and he suffered a concussion, which could be understood when one saw that the helmet had a hole worn away on one side from the slide.  He also suffered a knee injury and burns on one side of his body.  His Captain, being the sweet heart that he was gave him 12 hours off duty.  Yes, with a concussion, a badly denuded body, and a knee swollen twice its' size, he got all of 12 hours off duty.   I am a former CRNA, and he got me a copy of his x-rays and things and a friend who is an acclaimed Orthopedic surgeon reviewed them and said do a scope on the knee, get out the debris and give him three weeks of physical therapy and he'll do fine.  However, the Navy, because of his Captain, didn't do that.   He went three years without a physical.  Every time his physical was coming up, his boat would put out to see for a week or so, and he would miss his physical and it would take six months to reschedule it.  His job requried climbing all over the reactor on stainless steel floors, ladders, and things.  His knee would swell where he could barely walk and he lived with an ice bag around it.  When he finally transferred to another sub, they were astounded by the facts of the thing and immediately sent him to Bethesda and he had to muster out, because the Captain was so arrogant that he would not permit him to get care, fearing that he would lose his nuclear chemist.  So much for the millions spent on his education.
However, the other day at his job where he is a Project Engineer, they had a catered luncheon for the veterans at the site within the Engineering Division.  They had a little speech from someone thanking the veterans for their service and then wanted all of them to step outside for a picture.  It took twenty minutes to get it the way the boss wanted it...and they returned to discover that other people in the department had gone in and eaten all of the luncheon, which they had not been able to even touch.  He said that there were a few butter pats remaining.  TALK ABOUT DISRESPECT. 

[gjgatos]

09:52 PM on 11/12/2010

No, we definitely do not treat our veterans right, probably never have. We should be very grateful to them for risking their lives and coming home maimed for life. The truth is it is old men who start these conflicts, many times just as Senator Lindsey Graham said when he advocated going to war with Iran the other day: he thinks it is a good way for make money!!! Insane!

No, we should not have a draft or mandatory service. Think about it. We ask young men and women to die for their country, but is it really for "our country," or is it to satisfy some old men's vicarious need for excitement and to somehow enrich themselves? Is it a necessary or a just war we are asking them to fight for us or is it just a revenge war? The last two wars, Iraq and Afghanistan, were Bush's wars, Iraq based on lies, both unwinnable, and we know they are never going to be what we call "democracies" since they are never going to change their minds over there. We are simply occupiers, and nobody likes people occupying their countries. We should have already left. War totally sucks, costs immense amounts of money (the "deficit" that the Republicans are so worried about was caused greatly by these two wars), and Sen. Graham wants to start yet another war in Iran. Why? Money, of course. No, definitely no draft and no mandatory service. Voluntary service is another matter entirely.

[Sneakers1]

09:14 PM on 11/12/2010

No we don't do enough for the Vets that die for 2 ILLEGAL WARS. Bush & co. should be jailed. However, no one wants to prosecute them. Let's just ignore it. Nice.

How is it that we manage to do ENOUGH for the Banksers & Wallstreet! Now that's the USA policy, sick & worng.

[PoorDaddy]

09:11 PM on 11/12/2010

Universal Service is an idea I 've been suggesting for many years. Military service for a couple years, if you choose to do so, but Americorps, hospitals, schools, any kind of service to your fellow citizens would count toward your 2 year obligation. If we all had "skin in the game" so to speak, there would be a much stronger anti war movement, hence less optional wars.
It should also be mandatory to spend your Universal Service in another region of the country than your own. Folks on both coasts would serve in more conservative middle America, and middle Americans would serve on the more liberal coasts. We might just learn why each of us thinks the way we do and be much less polarized as a country. No deferments for anyone for any reason including "fortunate sons and daughters" of politicians.
I'm a veteran myself and 2 years ago I was very sick for many months and received excellent care from the VA system. The VA has improved immeasurably in their service to vets in the last 10 years. Just imagine a whole generation giving something back and learning a little responsibility for others and self discipline as well. I see NO down side, and I've been there. It ain't a bad thing!

[Alien Nation]

01:17 AM on 11/13/2010

How about instead of forcing the rest of us to sign up you just head down to the recruitment station in the morning and save us all the hassle.

[JHKH]

03:00 PM on 11/13/2010

What do you have against everybody being in the same boat? If the rich and privileged had to send their children for two years mandatory service on a level playing field -- no special treatment because of your pedigree -- there would be much less haste in going to war. Military service could also encompass other humanitarian and public service endeavors -- not just invading foreign nations.

[Skagitonian93]

03:51 PM on 11/13/2010

I have been advocating for some form of national service for many years. Many countries have it. Bush would never have been able to illegally invade two countries if rich parents had "skin in the game". National service doesn't necessarily mean "military", and leveling the playing field to include privileged children could only benefit the quest for peace.

Fan #1

[jeffinmichigan]

08:59 PM on 11/12/2010

Yes, full citizenship - primarily the right to vote - should be contingent on some form of service to the country.

[Alien Nation]

01:18 AM on 11/13/2010

Patriotism isn't a requirement for citizenship.

[granamica]

10:52 AM on 11/13/2010

I just had to fan you for that! My grandfather, father and brother all were vets. But only one is a decent human being--thanks Bro. The hero worship just for signing up has to stop. This post 9/11 crap allows us to paint all soldiers and police with the hero brush stroke. They are NOT all heroes. And what does that even mean?

That isn't to say they shouldn't be paid well, protected from being killed by faulty wiring, given good health care and not thrown by the wayside when they are no longer in their prime.

But none of us should be.

[jeffinmichigan]

09:46 AM on 11/14/2010

It should be.

[SilverTree]

08:55 PM on 11/12/2010

Universal national service is a wonderful idea. It doesn't have to be military service. If military service were compulsory, the public wouldn't be so gullible to fall for some war based on lies. How about a two tier system of citizenship? One based on veteran status, not the one we have now that is based on bank balances and family influence.

I am a veteran who hates the VA.

[langej]

08:43 PM on 11/12/2010

Yes, there should be universal service. Each 18-year-old could choose the sector in which they wish to contrbute: e.g. military, environment, education, health, community development.

It would build on the requirement that most high school students need to show some community service in their program and reinforce the age old principle of TINSTAFL: there is no such thing as a free lunch. You do not get to grow up and live in a society without giving something back to it.

[MANK]

09:08 PM on 11/12/2010

Not only is the lunch free, they want prime beef! My only adjustment to your suggestion is serve at 18, after college, or med/law school.

[langej]

09:46 PM on 11/12/2010

Thabks for the support. I reckon college will wait for them - will not hurt them to jave a mid-education break. For me, college was difficult the first year - how to fit in all the new social activities and studying too - got bad grades.. After the military, college was a doddle - straight A's, despite having to work full-time.

[Alien Nation]

01:18 AM on 11/13/2010

Serve at 12 and get a youth army going for the greater good. Clean the planet.

[who38]

08:39 PM on 11/12/2010

Yes; I think that national service should be mandatory, irrespective of gender, disabilities, or family fortune.

[yardarm]

08:56 PM on 11/12/2010

Lets bump it up a notch and re-instate the draft. Let some of the rich kids share in the risk of combat. i bet deployments would go down quickly as would armed conflict..

[who38]

09:21 PM on 11/12/2010

I see no difference between national service and the draft. If national service requires you to serve in a combat area, that is what national service is.  I agree that armed conflict would probably be reduced.  Don't know how we would deal with drone attacks.

[Soaplady]

08:39 PM on 11/12/2010

I am a veteran and I can tell you honestly that we do NOT get the care we deserve. I could write a book over the things that have gone wrong for me at the VA but found out on Facebook that other vets had bigger problems than I did at VA. The BIGGEST problem at VA are the VA employees - the non-vets who just don't seem the CARE about veterans. One must jump through a bunch of proverbial hoops to get treatment. Women veterans especially, have issues. Most of us have to drive sometimes several hours away for a pap smear since most VA clinics do not have OB/GYN clinics. It seems mostly the big VA's have them, which means a long drive for many of us female vets. Also, I hope that if anyone has to call the VA, that you have at LEAST an hour because sometimes, that is how long it takes to get who you need. Most of the time, I end up leaving voice messages. Sometimes I get a return call, sometimes not. I could sit here and name off problems that myself and other vets go through on a daily basis but then this email response would NEVER end, sadly. I will say though, I got a lot better care in San Diego, where I lived for 17 years. FL stinks!!

[Bellla]

08:37 PM on 11/12/2010

In a word No. We don't do near enough for veterans.
As ,far as national service goes, I feel that one of the reasons that people take their citizenship for granted is that they have never served. I would offer civilian service opportunities to motivated socially conscious high school grads and require at least 2 years of military service and training for the lazy and unambitious, I am a veteran, and the flag has real meaning to me, because I wore that uniform and saluted it often.

[AZ Angel]

10:06 PM on 11/12/2010

require at least 2 years of military service and training for the lazy and unambitious,

Seriously, would you want them?? Keep them with the civilians, please!

[Contact1972]

08:31 PM on 11/12/2010

Must it be military service? Can it be another kind?

[ljb860ljb]

08:29 PM on 11/12/2010

Yes, National Service, if you want to be a "citizen" you should should step forward. For years I have stated that by September 1st after High School is completed all (100% no excuses, even disabled should complete National Service) should be in some form of Service. If you want to be a Teacher you can spend two years as a Teacher Aide for example. I also want each person to be assigned duty at least 200 miles from their home, that would mean folks grow up and take responsibility rather than to continue to depend on "mommy and daddy". College can be delayed for a few years, the benefit is a more mature student when college begins.

For those that are willing to place their life on the line by joining the Military should receive lifetime care for self and their family. Can be done by expanding Tricare and transferring the family from Military to VA immediately upon discharge no waiting periods etc. that is the only way the nation will take care of ALL veterans. There are just way to many that slip through the cracks.......

[garyg210]

08:50 PM on 11/12/2010

Great training plan to indoctrinate future citizens into whatever the establishment wants them to be.

"We will send forth the iron youths and German (oops! the USA) will conquer the world." (A quote, more or less, from "All Quiet on the Western Front.")

Again, I note that older folks always want to impose this burden on young people, exempting themselves. I was lucky enough to just miss being drafted because Nixon ended the draft in 1972 when I became eligible. I promised myself that I would never support a war which I would not be prepared to enlist in. I am decades past any compulsory military service but I still live by that. The same principle goes for compulsory non-military service. If you are not prepared to do it yourself it is hypocritical to want to impose the burden on someone else.

[AZ Angel]

10:09 PM on 11/12/2010

So you don't think American citizens should service our country. I personally think that is the problem with most of the me-me generation. They have no idea how to care for anyone or anything else than themselves.