Scientology: The Quiz!

Oh, Scientology, how we love thee. Whether you're accusing Anderson Cooper of hackery, getting smacked-down in Europe, or using Tom Cruise as a weapon, you're always...interesting. Now we ask you, our dear readers, to see if you can tell the difference between actual Scientology beliefs and practices and those we made up. L. Ron Hubbard, Scientology's founder, plays a prominent part in the questions below. To find out more about him, click here.

Converts to Scientology's elite group Sea Org are required to sign a one billion year contract. While you are not expected to live that long, members are required to return to the organization when they are reborn.

True

False

Question 1 / 13

To get the highest score, get all the answers right in the fastest time! The clock will start as soon as you submit your first answer.

 

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[Bratatat]

04:58 AM on 11/16/2010

This is a scummy and irresponsible way to ridicule a church whose parishioners spend time volunteering in *non-religious* inner-city literacy centers, anti-drug campaigns, criminal rehabilitation programs, and traveling to natural and man-made disasters to aid the afflicted and help first responders.

It's a pathetic symptom of our Ken-and-Barbie, glassy-eyed society that those who do the least to help others feel a compulsion to scorn those who do.

But that lives up to what Hubbard published in the early 1950s about toxic people--now fashionably called narcissists.

[messy]

04:24 PM on 11/16/2010

How is it irresponsible, if the theology is correctly shown?

[Lu]

01:14 PM on 11/17/2010

It's not. Some of the answers are false and the majority of them worded in a ridiculing and out-of-context way. That's a hallmark of hate propaganda.

[Bratatat]

04:13 PM on 11/19/2010

LA's Simon Wiesenthal Museum of Tolerance asks any who are free of prejudice to exit the presentation by a large door. It can’t be opened, stopping those who deny their bigotries.

This quiz was conceived and crafted to generate reader scorn against Scientology.

It's socially hateful to create strife in families who would otherwise welcome a Scientologist. This quiz fosters snide gossip in workplaces. It can provoke beatings in schools when bullies bring hate-speech from home. Scientologists have lost jobs following media hate.

Specifics:
- From millions of words in lectures and books, the author selected questions that make Scientology seem strange, and distance people from each other.

- No questions address thousands of vital topics in Scientology: How to heal upsets, coach failing students, organize efficient groups, speed recovery after illness, improve concentration, and many more.

- Several questions sneakily "ask a lie."

- It contains wrong answers that misinform readers.

- No neutral questions: Why did Dianetics evolve into the Scientology religion? What do Scientologists believe about God?

- No positive questions: What does Scientology teach about diligence, helping family, self-sufficiency, honesty, fidelity, tolerance?

- No question mentioned Scientologists establishing and staffing inner-city literacy centers, Criminon.org prisoner reform, TheWayToHappiness.org morality campaigns, and CCHR.org's exposés of psychiatry’s abuses. Our thousands of highly publicized Volunteer Ministers' leaving work and family for disaster sites to assist victims and first responders went unreported.

And, thankfully, no other religion received “equal time” in such a derisive quiz as this pretense at entertainment.

[Old OT 7]

04:27 PM on 11/15/2010

To Craig 212:

Not many churches have an "Intelligence Division" like this cult does. No other church other than this cult, has been involved in our nation's biggest DOMESTIC SPYING SCANDAL! No other church SELLS it's beliefs. You can leave other churches but you DEFECT from this one. There are a few other sects that require you to completely cut off all ties to your family if their not in the sect or are critical of it. But this cult takes it to the nth degree. Breaking up families is part of their "sacred scriptures." If you leave one church for another, the congregation does consider you an ENEMY. This cult is so paranoid that if you leave, you must be criminally insane and you are viewed as the ENEMY.

Craig 212, have you ever spent time as a member of this cult? I logged 7 years with them. I can say with certainty that scientology is a: mind-bending, brainwashing, family destroying, First Amendment hating (except for them), U.S. Government hating (Just like Osama bin Laden), public school infiltrating (scary!), criminal enterprise cult with Satanic and black magic roots. And that's being kind...

[Old OT 7]

04:13 PM on 11/15/2010

I got 13 out of 13 in 3 minutes. Not surprising since I'm old OT 7. They have a "new" OT 7 now.

To see the most sacred of the sacred scriptures of this cult to go: www.xenu.net. Scroll down the home page to the bottom - Always Remember To Laugh. Click on South Park's take on scientology. Let it ramp up and enjoy the show. All of your problems stem from disembodied alien spirits inhabiting your body. The cult calls them "Body Thetans." Every person on Earth, according to this cut, has between 2,000 & 3,000 (More if you're rich!) body thetans attached to them. For between $500 and $1,000 PER HOUR, this cult will help you get rid of these space cooties. And it can take years and years and years and years and...well, you get the idea.

Oh, one more thing. The evil galactic ruler, Xenu (pronounced Zee-nu) that caused all of this to happen is, according to the cult, trapped in a mountain somewhere here on Earth, trapped by a battery that lasts forever.

After viewing their Holy of Holies, post what you think here.

[Craig 212]

09:44 AM on 11/15/2010

It kind of bothers me that Scientology gets picked on so much. It's no crazier than any other organized religion.

[Craig 212]

09:46 AM on 11/15/2010

Or rather, I should say it bothers me that other religions aren't as picked on as much as Scientology is.

[Sherri Houtz]

02:47 AM on 11/18/2010

It's not a religion in and of itself that's bad, it's the individual church. Fundamentalists have their churches but for the most part their religions renounce them. Scientology is different in that it is (as a whole) an excercize in fundamentalism. Basically, they're nuts. I wouldn't string most traditional church-goes as "nuts" because they believe in Christ or miracles. If Scientologists just believed in Thetans zapping their soul or that silence giving birth is golden, I'd be fine with that. Unfortunately they are dangerous, mind-altering, money bleeding superiority complex-bearing creeps--every last one.

[Bids Well]

10:53 PM on 11/20/2010

It kind of bothers me that people defend Scientology. Study it a little and get back to us.

[SolarArray]

01:36 AM on 11/15/2010

If you want to make money, get in the religion business.

[enlightenedgirl]

10:41 PM on 11/14/2010

8 out of 13, I guess I am not as up on my Scientology as I thought...  darn, I should have paid more attention to that South Park episode.

[Treehuggindirtworshiper]

07:01 PM on 11/14/2010

I have no words.

[schony333]

02:58 PM on 11/14/2010

Scientology is a cult and a scam to get your money. On the scale of religions all around the world the one dreamed up by a sci-fi writer is at the bottom of the list.

[WICKET99]

03:31 PM on 11/14/2010

The Mormon religion was created by a shyster from back East. It's all mythology, the older the more "believable".

[SuperRyan]

06:24 PM on 11/14/2010

Nope, Scientology is the bottom of the barrel. I have more respect for the Heaven's Gate cult, and the Koresh clan.

[thegoodspeed]

10:22 AM on 11/14/2010

all religions have their weird far-fetched stories. but somehow, this one is just bananas.

no religion is really better than this one because that's like saying raped by one gang is better than another one.... it's all bad and it's relatively the same.

[Balzac]

06:19 AM on 11/14/2010

Well, this is how religions can begin, with a eclectic mix of seemingly strange, dream-like mythology.

Many of these items can be considered to be part of multifaceted test of open-mindedness, loyalty to the group, and your ability to accept, interpret and expound upon the twists and turns of a L Ron Hubbard's visions.

I received an audit in Union Square Park one day. I held the electrodes of the e-meter and answered a bunch of questions. But I was at a loss for anxiety and stress. It became clear to the one auditing me, that I, though a wog, was no subversive, and was clear of any thetans.

This is a common experience for me, that I can go through rites, initiation, ceremony and visit the inner sanctum of a temple without making ripples. The greatest test of one's status in any given sect is whether or not one is surrounded by social harmony.

[thegoodspeed]

10:28 AM on 11/14/2010

i like that last sentence.

[Rheinbear]

07:21 PM on 11/13/2010

13 of 13 right in 6:07 lol. Guess those years I spent in Scientology weren't wasted. Never did think it was a "cult". Just a very expensive scam. Walked away when I got tired of it, and never harassed a single person. Some of the stuff people write about it just strikes me as silly.

[feuille0d0erable]

03:54 PM on 11/13/2010

Interesting that "wog" is a derogatory British term for south Asians derived from worthy oriental gentleman.

[deepfreezevideo]

03:38 PM on 11/13/2010

Our blues band inhabited a large basement studio complex at the corner of East Lake Street and S27th Avenue in South Minneapolis in the 70's and 80's.
Unfortunately our 2nd floor neighbor was The Church of Scientology, and their bookstore was at the corner next to the entrance to our digs.

Their "body routers" used to continually harass our clients and guests who were coming to recording sessions, and they routinely dropped in uninvited to listen to us as we rehearsed, hoping to try to convert one or more of us to the cult.
No matter what we said, no matter how we asked them, they never ever ever stopped bothering us and our friends.

I remember a couple of our band members finally throwing a half dozen buckets of warm piss which he had saved for weeks, all over the windows of the bookstore and "accidentally" deluging one of their "personality testers" in the process.

[Priori Decoherence]

02:29 PM on 11/13/2010

Since I got most all of them correct, does that mean I failed?

[bob dobbs]

02:18 PM on 11/13/2010

No need for the Scientologists to invade, the Scientology "Internet handlers" were already here. I've seen johnalexwood posting on another HuffPo Scientology thread, he is an English Scientologist who reported a Welsh councilman to a governmental ethics board for calling Scientology "stupid". Jeanne Bassoon and Luana1980, two more prolific Scientology Internet handlers, have accounts here, along with every other site on the net it would seem.

It's pure speculation on my part but I bet they set up a few sockpuppets just to use to flag posts
and abuse the "report abuse" button. They will to that do every post that isn't the glowing marketing testimonials, "success stories", that they like to post. I had to repost one comment 20 times over on the ABC News site, there was nothing wrong with it that I could see except it containing unflattering quotes by L Ron Hubbard and links to places like xenu.net.