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The State Of Our Unions: New Study Reports Growing 'Marriage Gap'

Huffington Post   First Posted: 12/06/10 03:04 AM ET Updated: 05/25/11 07:15 PM ET

Rich Couple

Affluent, well-educated Americans are enjoying increasingly stable, strong marriages, even as marital happiness is plummeting and the chances of divorce are rising among middle Americans. These are among the startling findings of "When Marriage Disappears: The Retreat from Marriage in Middle America," a new study released by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and New York's Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values.

The study, edited by W. Bradford Wilcox, brings together the latest findings from "The State Of Our Unions," an annual report produced jointly by the two organizations which monitors the health of "marriage and family life" in the U.S., with a focus on determining the ways "children, race, class, immigration, ethnicity, religion and poverty" shape marriage today. The results--culled from three nationally-representative surveys conducted between 1972 to 2008--paint a bleak picture for most American families. Perhaps the most alarming finding is the tangible shift in key markers of marriage stability among middle Americans, whom the study defines as the 58 percent of the adult population with high school, but not college degrees.

The study found that these adults are more likely to divorce now than they once were. Indeed, middle Americans have a 37 percent chance of divorce or separation within 10 years of first marriage, compared to 36 percent in the 1970s. By contrast, highly educated Americans (those holding a bachelor's degree or higher) are less likely to divorce than before: they have a mere 11 percent chance that their marriages will dissolve--a drop from 15 percent in the '70s. The least educated segment of the population, defined by the study as anyone who doesn't have a high school degree, were also less likely to split from their partners than they were previously, though at 36 percent, the chances of their marriages ending are almost identical to that of Middle Americans.

When it comes to marital satisfaction, the statistics were also alarming: 57 percent of middle Americans reported they were 'very happy' in their marriages, down from 68 percent in the 1970s. Again, the numbers are closer to the lowest socio-economic segment of the population than the highest--52 percent believe themselves to be in happy unions. The highly-educated remained just as satisfied with their marriages as they had been previously--69 percent consider themselves to be happily married.

The study also looked at the segments of the population who believe "Marriage Has Not Worked Out For Most People They Know," and found that 43 percent of moderately-educated and 53 percent of the least-educated people believed this to be true, while only 17 percent of highly-educated people think so.

The study argues that, while moderately-educated people traditionally mimicked the behavior of the upper class, they are now in the midst of a "historic reversal" insofar as they are mirroring the attitudes and actions of the lower class. So what's to blame? According to the study, these new statistics reflect a shift in values, both marriage-related and otherwise. The study measured those values by a diverse set of beliefs, from religious attendance to birth control usage to the number of sex partners they'd had in their lifetime.

The data sparked the conclusion that "the United States is devolving into a separate-and-unequal family regime, where the highly educated and the affluent enjoy strong and stable households and everyone else is consigned to increasingly unstable, unhappy, and unworkable ones."

"The State of Our Unions" attributes the change to an overriding shift in values. Once the most socially conservative part of the country, middle America now appears to be becoming more socially permissive and less marriage-minded. For example, whereas 76 percent of adolescents in highly educated households would be embarrassed to get someone pregnant, only 61 percent of moderately educated people felt the same way, and only 48 percent of the least educated believe that is so. Furthermore, while 81 percent of 14-year-old girls in highly educated households lived with their mother and their father (a number that has jumped by a percentage point since the 1970s), 58 percent did so in middle America--a whopping 16 percent drop from the 74 percent who reported they lived with both parents in the 1970s.

While the most affluent sector of society has held onto marriage as a defining social unit, the study found that the rest of the country is suffering, at least in part because they are having trouble doing so. Marriage--"an institution to which all could once aspire," has become "a private playground of those blessed with abundance."

So why sound the alarm bells over these findings? Because when marriage is at risk, so, too, the study argues, is the very foundation of our society: "Marriage is a core social institution, one that helps to ensure the economic, social and emotional welfare of countless children, women, and men in this nation."

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Affluent, well-educated Americans are enjoying increasingly stable, strong marriages, even as marital happiness is plummeting and the chances of divorce are rising among middle Americans. These are am...
Affluent, well-educated Americans are enjoying increasingly stable, strong marriages, even as marital happiness is plummeting and the chances of divorce are rising among middle Americans. These are am...
 
 
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04:31 AM on 12/08/2010
Women outnumber men in college. That means that more women have degrees in which they can earn higher income. Since women file for divorce about twice as often as men do (last time I checked), then these women have a lot more to lose financially than they did several decades ago. May be related......................
12:26 AM on 12/11/2010
That's a provocative observation. It would be interesting to analyze the income variations among recently divorced women and men. Perhaps the financial impact has changed, although women overall still make only about 3/4ths of what men make.

In a quick search for scholarly articles (I'm kind of compulsive), I found this interesting piece: "'These boots are made for walking': why most divorce filers are women" in the American Law and Economics Review, Volume2, Issue1. Pp. 126-169.

The authors do point out that "divorced women in large numbers reveal that they are happier than they were while married. They report relief and certainty that they were right in leaving their marriages."

The stated purpose of their article: "This fundamental puzzle suggests that the incentives to divorce require a reexamination, and that the forces affecting the net benefits from marriage may be quite complicated, and perhaps asymmetric between men and women. This paper considers women's filing as rational behavior, based on spouses' relative power in the marriage, their opportunities following divorce, and their anticipation of custody." I'd say that part about happiness and relief may provide a strong clue to the "puzzle" as well as insight into the social role issues involved in why women are more likely than men to find marriage oppressive.
04:28 AM on 12/08/2010
"Indeed, middle Americans have a 37 percent chance of divorce or separation within 10 years of first marriage, compared to 36 percent in the 1970s."

"even as marital happiness is plummeting and the chances of divorce are rising among middle Americans."

For a less than 3% shift in 3-4 decades, that doesn't seem like a huge shift. Plus, the numbers are rounded to the nearest integer and it could be 36.4% VS 36.5% for all the reader knows.
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PowerPridePinstripes
27 and Counting!
01:53 PM on 12/07/2010
Most of those couples on Bridezillas are headed for divorce -- they are adding to these dismal numbers!
I think the numbers in those segments of the socioeconomic categories are divorcing or more unhappy in their marriages becasue Marriage has lost's it's real value. It's about the 'ring', the dress, the ceremony, the pang of jealousy knowing your girlfriends are all single and you're married -- and hen pecked men who yield to marriage even when they really don't want to. That's why!
Gutts
If I were a Transformer, I would be Ultra Magnus
07:52 AM on 12/07/2010
Since my comment was deleted yesterday, I'll repost it now. The fact is marriage is one of the strongest foundation we have in america. Also go to the ghetto and see why marriage is important. thousands and thousands of single women trying to do raise a community alone. It ain't working.
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PowerPridePinstripes
27 and Counting!
02:01 PM on 12/07/2010
There are single women all over - not just in the ghetto.
Gutts
If I were a Transformer, I would be Ultra Magnus
07:49 AM on 12/07/2010
Financial means have crap to do with it. Some of the happiest married couples I know are poor.
03:13 AM on 12/07/2010
What this really shows is supply and demand. At lower socio-economic levels, women have an almost infinite number of choices to "move up" and do so at much higher levels, at the higher socio-economic levels....ie educated, the opportunities to "move up" are much lower and so reflected in the divorce rates. I would think you would also find marriage rates dropping across the board, but it would be interesting to know how that related to economic status.
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Badger33
I'm trying real hard to be the shepherd.
02:07 AM on 12/07/2010
Gee, do you think the increasing disparity in the distribution of wealth and economic uncertainty might be putting a strain on middle-class marriages?
11:49 PM on 12/06/2010
There's a lot we can learn from these statistics and the fact that marriage is changing!!!
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
11:53 PM on 12/06/2010
Read : The Overworked American -- I think this is a better analysis

http://users.ipfw.edu/ruflethe/american.html
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
11:19 PM on 12/06/2010
Read : The Overworked American -- it is on the Web

Lack of sleep, lack of free time, to many hours working and many more destroy marriages .
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
11:54 PM on 12/06/2010
Read : The Overworked American

http://users.ipfw.edu/ruflethe/american.html
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
12:25 AM on 12/07/2010
That would be a good book, in 2004
Gutts
If I were a Transformer, I would be Ultra Magnus
07:06 PM on 12/06/2010
The mediator of this board suck.
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Vicki Larson
Journalist, mother, thinker
06:29 PM on 12/06/2010
I remember reading not too long ago what National Marriage Project sociologist W. Bradford Wilcox said, that recent tough times are giving couples a “new appreciation” for marriage and “togetherness," which I wrote about on "An Unemployed Man, a Frustrated Woman" (http://www.mommytracked.com/vicki_larson_divorce_recession_unemployment).
But I'd like to know just what the wealthy consider a happy marriage. I know a few wealthy couples who are happily married because he gives her all the material things she wants, and she ignores his fooling around. Hey, they're both getting what they want — isn't that a happy marriaige?
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
11:28 PM on 12/06/2010
Read: The Overworked American

http://users.ipfw.edu/ruflethe/american.html
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Endotoxin
Blast Corps
12:46 PM on 12/07/2010
I'm confused. Wasn't the whole purpose of marriage to remain loyal both sexually and emotionally in the eyes of God? (Ahem keyword: God)

If they aren't going to obey the commandments those people mentioned should not use his institution of marriage to sanctify their sick desires.

I am by no means "very religious" but I am well aware of the history of the institution and what it is intended for. I like when things are used for their original intended purpose. It sounds like Mr. Wealthy man prefers his wife to be an arm candy hooker as opposed to someone he wants to spend the rest of eternity with.

Just saying...
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Tazirai
Society is not your friend.
06:57 PM on 12/07/2010
Marriage existed before Christianity. God had nothing to do with it. Most Marriages were business transactions. The actual ones that had love.. were still mainly business transactions. So you can get married without God. people have had different Gods throughout history. the Christian one isnt that special really.
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05:53 PM on 12/06/2010
Herrnstein and Murray were right.
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Les Burns
Don't need no Micro-bio!
05:45 PM on 12/06/2010
Not surprising,divorce for the rich man adds up to a drop in the bucket that he can recover from whereas the middle class and poor men are financially devastated when the woman takes half.
06:15 PM on 12/06/2010
Yeah, like it's all the woman's fault.
10:15 AM on 12/07/2010
We're still not talking about the rich. Only the educated. For my husband and myself, that sure doesn't equal rich.
05:22 PM on 12/06/2010
I think it is obvious that women who have financial means of their own are either finding that they needn't marry at all (a choice made by many of the ladies in my family) or; they come into the marriage financially independent and never surrender that status to the marriage. It is another advantage enjoyed by the privileged, It takes pressure off our husbands to "produce" and anyone who thinks the current vicissitudes - the deteriorating economy - doesn't effect the health of many marriages is living a sheltered life. Does love alone sustain couples? Yes, our marriage was very happy, but by having financial security we avoided a lot of conflict.
05:28 PM on 12/06/2010
Well said.
06:41 PM on 12/06/2010
Thanks - you're very generous.
05:53 PM on 12/06/2010
Fanned! Thank you, you've homed in on the essentials. Being aware of the economic consequences of our current lives in America - the "current vicissitudes" as you say - is a much better indicator of how the average marriage will last. If you're working just to get food on the table or to not live in the car, then chances are your life is going to be filled with almost unbearable stress. Love is great and will add a crucial dimension to being able to carry through, but how many can say they have that? Husbands and wives need to be able to support each other through tough times.

Kudos to you and your spouse for having a good marriage and thank you for sharing!
06:48 PM on 12/06/2010
Fanned back. I hesitated saying that - this is a very charged issue. Thanks for understanding.
05:21 PM on 12/06/2010
And the right wing is worried about gay marriage, when they really should be worried about the state of marriage as outlined in this report? Income inequality is driving this, as the spoils of economic growth flow unevenly to the top and put increasing pressures on the lower class. Let's see you deal with that problem, Republicans!
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dadw5boys
Disabled Vietnam Vet
11:30 PM on 12/06/2010
Read : The Overworked American

http://users.ipfw.edu/ruflethe/american.html