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The State Of Our Unions: New Study Reports Keys For Solid Marriages

Marriagesplashtuesday

Huffington Post   First Posted: 12/ 7/2010 8:14 am Updated: 05/25/2011 6:15 pm

Want to stay married? Better make sure you have a college degree, earn over $50,000 a year, and don't have divorced parents.

Indeed, even though the national divorce rate is close to 50 percent, the numbers are much lower for the sector of the U.S. population who meets these and other qualifications. According to the recent "State of Our Unions" report, a joint study on the health of marriage in America by the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia and New York's Center for Marriage and Families at the Institute for American Values that was released yesterday, the chance of divorce varies based on specific personal and social circumstances. Because many of these circumstances are a reality for only the most privileged segment of the population, the study further propels claims that the 'marriage gap' is growing.

Among the factors that contribute to marriage success: making $50,000 or more annually--as opposed to under $25,000. Those who do experience a 30 percent drop in the risk of divorce. People with college degrees enjoy another 25 percent decrease. Coming from an intact home decreases the risk by 14 percent. Other factors that affect marital success for the better: waiting to have kids until after tying the knot, and having a religious affiliation of some kind.

W. Brad Wilcox, the editor of the study and director of the National Marriage Project, says the findings don't necessarily furnish the recipe for a good marriage, though they can act as preventative measures. Part of the reason this is so is that those who are likely to succeed in marriage are also more likely to get married in the first place. "People who have the economic opportunities, decent jobs, social skills, to succeed in married life are more likely to get married," Wilcox said. "We're telling people what the average pattern is."

Stacy J. Rogers, a professor of sociology at Penn State, and a co-author on the book Alone Together: How Marriage in America is Changing, has a slightly different take on the findings. "If you're more educated, if you're in your first marriage, and have no children from previous relationships, if you have a good economic situation--you don't have as many external stressors," she said.

But she has a different solution for keeping marriages healthy, and suggests that perhaps successful marriages aren't the product of a group of pre-set factors, but in fact of the couples' individual attitudes about the institution itself. "We put a lot of emphasis on the marriage to make us happy, and fulfill our lives. We're victims of unrealistic expectations."

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This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
03:55 PM on 12/31/2010
I see from reading the first few lines of this article that the 50% divorce rate myth is alive and well. This author should have done a few minutes of research prior to writing this article.
07:56 PM on 12/08/2010
Hi
Well already, there are a few things to be considered in any relationship,I think the biggest thing is communication and understanding the other person , unity is strength!! sail the same ship and tackle the oceans together.
Read this article it is simple and to the point.It even has products that will help , all issues are deep seeded and must be addressed and resolved before anyone can move forth ,that is my opinion on this.http://www.mindmotivations.com/resources/articles have a read and give me your comments on the article.
Cheers
Gio
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onionboy
Blessed are the Cheese Makers
04:52 PM on 12/08/2010
For everyone calling for "not getting married" in order to avoid divorce. I'm neither a proponent nor opponent of marriage per se. To me, it's just a social and legal contract. But I have some suggestions based on the same logic:

If you don't want your heart broken..don't date.
If you don't want to fail...don't try.
if you don't want a bad grade...skip school.
If you don't want to be wrong...don't talk or write about anything.
If you don't want to suffer...end it all.

The road of life is just as likely to go through the Rockies as it is across Kansas. Yes, that means some people have it all downhill, others all uphill, others up and down, and others flat. So, if you really want to be sure to avoid all the bad stuff, just make no effort at all. It's the only way to be sure. Yippee.
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ziger123
All you need is unconditional love and acceptance
02:57 PM on 12/08/2010
If you view your spouse through the eyes of love with kindness, compassion and empathy you will succeed.
If you don't love yourself it's very hard to love someone else with kindness, compassion and empathy.
With kindness, compassion and empathy we can change the world and reduce the divorce rate.
09:38 AM on 12/08/2010
Pardon me for being so simple.
But, the best way to avoid divorce is:

DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE GET MARRIED!!!!!!!
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AgathaX
Pro-science; anti-using-the-world-as-one-big-lab.
07:17 AM on 12/08/2010
Too many view marriage as an end in itself. A necessary right of passage. The thing you are supposed to do sometime between 19 and 39. If you marry because you believe you must in order to have a fulfilling life, I would think the odds of failing at both go up.

I've no objection to marriage except that so many people seem to go into it because they think society expects it, or their partner expects it, or their parents expect it. Marriage should be nothing more than an acknowledgement of a relationship that exists. It's the time you can formally say to your family and friends: "yes, we're in it for good."

If you are not in it for good, or have any doubt, just have a party. Even those of us who have no doubt and are in it for good don't always get around to that formal proclamation.
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syrius
Excuse me, EXCUSE ME!
06:55 AM on 12/08/2010
The only reason divorce exists is marriage.

All the people who have gotten divorced always say the same thing-

"It was worth it."

And I'm married. At least for now...lol
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spytheweb
Black Democrat
10:38 PM on 12/07/2010
How to avoid divorce? The only sure way is to not get married.
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FearlessFreep
A radical leftist with a JS Woodsworth avatar.
12:01 AM on 12/08/2010
Or kill your spouse. Or yourself.
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leftLibertarian
Don't vote for Obama or Romney
09:37 PM on 12/07/2010
W( )W
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09:09 PM on 12/07/2010
Herrnstein and Murray were right.
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MamaBird62
08:41 PM on 12/07/2010
When you are unhappy with your spouse, ask yourself this question and be prepared to give an honest answer: What's it like to be married to me?
06:25 AM on 12/08/2010
I like it! I think I would have to answer that question by saying "It must take a strong woman to stick with it!" So that must mean i have a strong wife and should stick with it for the long haul.
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Ecoli
Karma
07:48 PM on 12/07/2010
It’s inevitable – Mother Nature playing the game - Dirty Trick: LOVE IS BLIND

http://www.articlesbase.com/relationships-articles/love-mother-natures-dirty-trick-a-guide-to-a-happy-marriage-1739161.html
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labenson27
07:08 PM on 12/07/2010
1. Don't play tit for tat. Learn to accept an apology and trust in your relationship.
2. Always make your partner feel loved.
3. Understand that the person you are married to is NOT you.

#3 is a really big one. Don't force your partner to do things exactly the way you want. It just breeds anger and resentment and removes the give and take balance that a partnership needs to endure.
12:47 AM on 12/08/2010
That's really good and really true. Nice job.
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Tazirai
Society is not your friend.
06:48 PM on 12/07/2010
For me part of the reason is im too honest. I despise having to lie to people in my life. Even If i try they wont believe it. Because they've gotten used to me. I couldnt be a guy who tells my wife what she wanted to hear all the time. I can't compromise my own personal happiness to make another Happy for the short term gain.
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06:45 PM on 12/07/2010
Number 1-Dont get Married
Number 2-Be attracted to the same sex