Married Men Are More Social, But Why?

Time:

A good marriage civilizes men. At least, that's what it looks like, since fewer married men are antisocial. But it's never been clear whether it's the marriage that makes men antisocial or whether fewer antisocial men get married.

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Comments

[Alex Zhang]

10:57 AM on 12/19/2010

"How much is the fact that we are getting married later contributing to, or a factor of, our prolonged adolescence?"

Being in a serious relationship tends to make us better people. I know I have grown so much because of my wife - even before we got married. Serious relationships force us to reflect on ourselves by pitching us against another person who likely has different ways of thinking, different desires, different sets of reactions to different things, etc... Serious relationships give us conflicts, debates, illuminating conversations, and many more self-enriching experiences. This applies even if two people always seem to agree with each other.

I think the most valuable thing I got from my wife (aside from happiness and her love) is self-knowledge. It's hard to better yourself when you have confused notions of yourself. In some respect, knowledge comes with responsibility. Realizing my tendencies, the nature of my thoughts, and their effects on another person makes me responsible - in the future - for what I do and what I think. If I change, it will be willful. Conversely, if I don't change, it too will be willful.

Adolescence is often associated with a lack of responsibility. I'm not saying adolescents are bad people. But often, adolescents don't recognize their thoughts and impulses for what they are, and thus, don't take responsibility for the way we are. If we can't take responsibility for the way we are, it's hard to take responsibility for what we do.

[Alex Zhang]

11:07 AM on 12/19/2010

"But often, adolescent­s don't recognize their thoughts and impulses for what they are, and thus, don't take responsibi­lity for the way we are."

Sorry, this should read, "But often, adolescent­s don't recognize their thoughts and impulses for what they are, and thus, don't take responsibi­lity for the way THEY are."

[BlackYowe]

02:09 AM on 12/17/2010

I think a good marriage makes a man more sociable because he is not on the prowl, LOL! He is out there to enjoy himself not to prove or achieve anything. This is also true for well married women I think.