The Dad Next Door

WASHINGTON -- He was the dad next door.

Even as President Obama's job approval numbers sank last year, Americans said they liked him personally, in part because he was so devoted to his family.

It was that unassuming role -- father and husband -- which enabled Obama to turn his Tucson speech into a memorable moment of healing and hope.

One speech does not a presidency make. The economy and policy arguments are paramount. But the president connected directly to people in a way he has long hoped to do, but not often been able to do as president: as a neighbor and friend.

Obama's gift is his ability to turn his biography into American metaphor. In the past, he did so to inspire and focus the desire for political change -- and to successfully offer himself as the embodiment of it. The message of the 2008 campaign was one of crusading youth.

The message of Tucson in 2011 was something very different.

His hair turning gray before our eyes, approaching his 50th birthday, the president spoke most convincingly -- and emotionally -- as a father who had seen much, perhaps too much, but remained optimistic about the country and his children's generation.

It was not lost on him, and presumably not lost on anyone else, that the engaging child he eulogized, 9-year-old Christina-Taylor Green, was almost exactly the same age as his daughter Sasha.

His descriptions of the loving lives of the long married couples killed or injured in the attack were personally evocative, too. In the past, he has talked in the same affectionate terms about the sacrifices and stoicism of his maternal grandparents in Hawaii.

I have reported on the Obamas since 2006. I don't claim to know them well. But I know plenty of people who do, and I know that they are fiercely devoted to each other, to their children and their family.

So are most Americans. Which is the point. In Tucson, the president did what he had to do by being nothing more or less than one of us.

Comments

[qwr]

10:40 AM on 01/17/2011

Fineman is speaking of Obama as a "Dad" in that he is a father who can sympathize with the father of the 9-year-old. But many on this thread have taken this to mean that Obama is the "dad," "parent," or "grownup," while we are children. Very scary rhetoric. I don't see any politician as "Daddy." This kind of paternalism is usually seen on the right.

[zridling]

08:43 PM on 01/16/2011

I guess I'm a bad person by not being "inspired" by yet another teleprompter rendering. Instead of making speeches, why not CHALLENGE CONGRESS to DO SOMETHING about the weird gun fetish conservatives have? I have members of my own family who own arsenals in their houses, and it's VERY, very weird.

[Pupadup4oBama]

08:51 PM on 01/16/2011

This was neither the time, nor place for such discussion.
Nice try though.

[retourner]

09:14 PM on 01/16/2011

honestly, when is the time for the discussion?
when the entertainment media's ratings drop and they move on to another story? or how about when they go back to covering the rantings of the TPs? how about when another person is k.ed needlessly?
this tragedy was caused by something. shouldn't that something be addressed? when it's fresh in everyone's mind? or should we allow the NRA to change the subject yet again? and have another mindless slaughter? and then we can go back to the same "it's not time yet" theory?
so nothing changes and nothing gets done to make this country better?

[Blizzard2010]

07:19 PM on 01/16/2011

Who's your daddy now?

[glddraco]

06:54 PM on 01/16/2011

I'm honestly not a big fan of Howard Fineman. For one all too often he's been too much of an ideologue and seems to be filled with rhetoric that I just cannot agree with. Overall I have to say that saying that Obama considers those that disagree with him as ignorant shows that Fineman has a poor grasp of what Obama's actually about. Saying that this was a good article.

[wsdave]

05:52 PM on 01/16/2011

Not that I don't enjoy hearing from the father to us all, but how we hear from the ACTUAL father of the girl who was killed.

[SubgeniusMustHaveSlack]

06:50 PM on 01/16/2011

He probably doesn't want to be part of the media circus.

[wsdave]

07:52 PM on 01/16/2011

He made an appearance on one of the daily talk shows, and I saw the excerpt on MSNBC online. HuP didn't cover it for some reason.

[StillIRise]

10:16 PM on 01/16/2011

We DID hear from him.  Either you weren't listening, or you missed it.

[wsdave]

11:04 PM on 01/17/2011

Well, I just did a search on HuffPo, and it came up empty. Sure, he gets mentioned in articles about other people, but it seems that his MSNBC statement never played here.

[GrammieJ]

05:46 PM on 01/16/2011

Excellent article, thank you Mr Fineman. I too knew that it must have been very difficult for the President to share thoughts concerning the death of the young girl. I am sure he put a lot of thought and prayer into what he would say, he always does.
I could tell his words came from his heart, and yes, I would love to have him as a dad, brother, uncle, son-in-law, son, etc!!!

[quillerm]

08:12 PM on 01/16/2011

Pathetic

[wsdave]

05:39 PM on 01/16/2011

How come we never hear anything about Christina Green's father?

[StillIRise]

10:16 PM on 01/16/2011

We already did!!!!

[gladator]

02:02 PM on 01/16/2011

Does this mean Obama is going to free the children of Guantanamo, stop torture, cancel warrantless surveillance, stop occupying small countries that are no
threat to us, restore habeas corpus, honor the Geneva Convention, stop obstructung justice for torturers?

[American Person]

02:17 PM on 01/16/2011

Tell you what; if you can convince the rest of Congress to go along with that there plan of yours I think you and the President would have a deal!

[qwr]

04:23 PM on 01/16/2011

You are wrong. Most of these policies come from the executive branch. The exception might be Guantanamo. Obama did try to close Guantanamo, ran into resistance, and backed off. Targeted assassination, warrantless surveillance, extraordinary rendition, increased deportations, and the prosecution of whistleblowers--these policies come from Obama. I am surprised that you don't know this.

[retourner]

09:17 PM on 01/16/2011

we all know the answer.
for some strange and inexplicable reason, O is now untouchable. we can't even talk about gun control. because that would be ... too political? maybe it would change something in america for the better.
but that's all crazy talk.
the warcrimes will continue. the warcriminals will roam free and be rewarded. and the blood of innocents will continue to be on our hands.

[American Person]

01:44 PM on 01/16/2011

President Obama is an excellent person, a sterling example of a family man, a patriot, an excellent politician, extremely intelligent, and He is doing an astonishing job running this Nation during an exceedingly difficult time! Perhaps most impressive though is the fact that He has remained urbane in spite of the constant detestation , petty politics, and quite simply unadulterated hatred spewing from SLOW thinking Americans who seem to be incapable of excepting the “FACT!” Job well done Mr. President!!!

[gladator]

02:09 PM on 01/16/2011

Yes, Obama spoke of civility--­yet he supports torture, rendition, permanent occupation of small countries that are no threat to us, obstructio­n of justice, Guantanamo­, brutalizat­ion of children, the end of habeas corpus, the end of the Geneva Convention­, disregard of the Constituti­on, bonuses for bankers paid for by working people. Yes, he wants us to be nice and "civil" like lambs to the slaughter, and not make any noisy protests to the end of constituti­onal law. That will serve him very well as he gathers the reins of the imperial presidency into his hands.”

[American Person]

02:27 PM on 01/16/2011

II think if this was a dictatorship and He was the Dictator you would not have a thing to worry about in regards to your expressed matters of concern. But as you well know or should know this is not a dictatorship and He is not a dictator which means there are 535 more votes, attitudes, and opinions that the President has to deal as He navigates this striving Democracy’s political process! I surely hope that you understand that not all 535 of those other votes, attitudes, and opinions agree with your plan in regards to the expressed matters of concern!

[ritamary]

04:09 PM on 01/16/2011

I am a Democrat and more or less support Obama. However, don't you think you have gone a bit overboard in your comment? Especially capitalizing the pronoun "he". I previously have seen the pronoun "he" capitalized only in reference to God. (By the way, I am not a believer in any sort of religion.)

[GrammieJ]

05:49 PM on 01/16/2011

Then please do not let it bother you if "he" is capitalized. Should not make a hill of beans difference to you if you do not believe in any sort of religion.

[American Person]

05:54 PM on 01/16/2011

Do you think you have gone to far in questioning my right to express myself as I please? Do you think those who constantly refer to person and office without using caps have gone to far. By the way, which do you think is more important the message or a grammatical personal preference; which I choose to do because there are too many people who choose not to use caps when referring to Him or the Office! Anyway I don't think GOD really cares about...

[Michmod]

01:15 PM on 01/16/2011

I didn't see him as a Dad. I saw him as a leader. A leader of a sadly divided, ill-informed and troubled nation. A nation that has a propoganda machine of vitriol and misinformation that makes it almost impossible to engage in real debate in this country. And he made some inroads. I can't fathom another leader that could do better given the state this country is in. Thank you Mr. President. I doubt you words were taken to heart by those that needed to hear them most, but you certainly made their pettiness and egos stand out starkly.

[Katrina Taylor]

03:02 PM on 01/16/2011

President Obama's clarity, intelligence and ability to get to the heart of the matter is a stark contrast to the rampant idiocy which abounds. He's so full of common sense that the ridiculous among us only make themselves more ridiculous when they stick to their ridiculous meme.

[SubgeniusMustHaveSlack]

07:00 PM on 01/16/2011

F&F for wisdom and dancing bears

[Pupadup4oBama]

08:58 PM on 01/16/2011

So true!

[jaypet]

09:37 PM on 01/16/2011

great comment

[LiberalBuzz]

01:10 PM on 01/16/2011

Let's get something straight here before we talk about Howard's comments.

THE T-SHIRTS.

NOT given out by Obama or the administration

Slogan on it.

. DID NOT use a campaign slogan.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/the-truth-about-the-together-we-thrive-t-shirts-at-the-tucson-memorial/

[FrancescoFemia]

12:58 PM on 01/16/2011

Spot on, Howard.

[Roach Coach]

12:50 PM on 01/16/2011

The t-shirts given to everyone who was there didn't focus on the dead/injured nor were they given out by the University of Arizona. The shirts were emblazoned with a Obama campaign theme, and were given out by Obama's own Organizing for America.

The "Together We Thrive" slogan dates back to a post to Obama's own Organizing for America in a February 11th, 2008 post. If you were a mourner who took home a t-shirt, look at the bottom of your shirt, it says, Rocking America and Rocking the Vote, which is a common theme of the DNC, and it's right there on your memorial t-shirt memento.

[LiberalBuzz]

01:08 PM on 01/16/2011

Why do you baggers have to do nothing but spread rumors and lies? I thought you were all supposed to be the party of "Values".  Or does con values mean lie as much as you can?

The T-Shirts were put out by the UNIVERSITY. The comment was NOT from Obama's campaign.

Try telling the truth occasionally or at least doing your own research instead of parroting what you hear.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/the-truth-about-the-together-we-thrive-t-shirts-at-the-tucson-memorial/

[blindjester]

01:21 PM on 01/16/2011

Quit.

http://www.mediaite.com/online/the-truth-about-the-together-we-thrive-t-shirts-at-the-tucson-memorial/

[Roach Coach]

12:38 PM on 01/16/2011

Nothing more than a pep rally for Obama.

[blindjester]

01:21 PM on 01/16/2011

You're sad.

[Roach Coach]

02:57 PM on 01/16/2011

Sad and right.

[Katrina Taylor]

03:11 PM on 01/16/2011

so sad

[Blizzard2010]

12:18 PM on 01/16/2011

Give me a brake.

[cedy]

01:54 PM on 01/16/2011

I have a Toyota for you

[maxfax]

06:02 PM on 01/16/2011

I was thinking American made.

[StillIRise]

10:29 PM on 01/16/2011

I have a couple of old ones in the garage ... they're a little scratched up, but not entirely unsuable!