Cathleen Miller, Chicago Ridge Mom, Gets 10 Years For Sex With Daughter's Friends

A mom in the Chicago suburbs was sentenced to ten years in prison for having sex with several teenage boys who were friends with her oldest daughter.

Cathleen Miller, 40, of Chicago Ridge, pled guilty in court Friday. She was arrested in July of 2010, and accused of providing alcohol and marijuana to three high school freshmen. According to news reports, she got the boys intoxicated and then molested them -- abuse that included intercourse, oral sex, and fondling.

FOX Chicago reported at the time that the string of sex acts ended when Miller's daughter walked in on her mother having sex with a male friend of hers. The friend later posted an apology on the daughter's Facebook wall, which his parents later saw. They alerted authorities to what they'd seen, which prompted an investigation.

Miller was separating from her husband before her arrest, and her attorney, John Russell, said that she had been the victim of domestic abuse. "She does need some serious treatment involving some psychiatric issues that have developed," he said.

She checked herself into a hospital after police began investigating her involvement with the boys, according to today's report in the Chicago Sun-Times.

The longtime secretary for the village of Chicago Ridge, Miller received three years of jail time for each of three victims, and an additional year for abusing a fourth boy. Her three children are currently staying with her sister, as WLS reports.

Comments

[FAQT]

04:01 PM on 01/28/2011

google "Jason Eickmeyer". he was a 15 year old student-athlete who banged his hot teacher, and it pretty much destroyed him.

[jackbutler5555]

05:42 PM on 01/28/2011

From what I read about the case, it was the reaction of the public which harmed Jason.  A kind of Town Without Pity effect.

Backward, judgmental people have a tendency to harm the very people whose lives they want to manage.

[InbredJed]

01:59 PM on 01/28/2011

Come on you nuts -- these guys got a great lesson from a experienced woman. Man, I wish I had that opportunity when I was a that age. And the bragging rights alone are worth a place in the young mans Hall of fame. I agree, 6 mos tops should be the sentence. Too bad she got caught!

[RainbowPhoenix]

02:11 PM on 01/28/2011

The irrationality you describe is the reason we have age of consent laws.

[tom mi]

02:27 PM on 01/28/2011

the irrationality he describes is what brought you into this world.

[larned]

02:26 PM on 01/28/2011

I really don't get comments like this. This woman gave drugs and alcohol to kids who were 14 or 15 years old and it's supposed to be OK because this was done by a woman instead of a man? What is there to brag about? Having sex with an out of control mentally unbalanced woman who clearly has no concern about who she hurts? Stop trying to turn this into some kind of cutesy teenage sex comedy/fantasy.

[ArgotMay]

01:54 PM on 01/28/2011

I read a lot of these comments. I didn't see anything about what really gets me. That is, this woman's act appeared as a violent outlash against her kids and against her own aging.Since she lost her recent lover, she was angry to suddenly be an unwanted 'older' woman. Her children will doubt themselves for a looong time. And although I understand the perspective of many males on this, I believe that love, sweet intuitive magnetic magic, friendships, and meaningful conversations should be demonstrated by parents so to be wished for and modeled by children.
Another thing, sudden sexual encounters may easily bring dangerous and diseased people to contaminate children on other levels.
Another thing, once a child has 'sex' with someone, that child is no longer going to fit in the group of friends who haven't had sex yet, so it can be very isolating.

[dparks]

02:07 PM on 01/28/2011

Absolutely - as a male, I agree with you. Can't imagine how these boys will view and treat young women and ultimately their own children when adults.

[jackbutler5555]

05:45 PM on 01/28/2011

You went into quite a bit of detail.  How did you come across all this information?

[JezzusKrist]

01:49 PM on 01/28/2011

Dear Huff and Puff: Why you no post my last comment?

[MNNaturopath]

01:47 PM on 01/28/2011

In situations such as this, there is always the concern about long term harm to those who indulged in sex, especially when underaged or when forced. Current thinking in much of the counseling profession is that only years of therapy can undo such harm. In my clinical experience, however, the effects of these experiences can usually be neutralized in at most a half dozen sessions if a suitable therapy such as "Emotional Freedom Techniques" (aka EFT) is used. EFT is also highly effective in treating post traumatic stress disorder, one of the worst, it would seem, for long term effects. In this approach, meds are scarcely ever necessary, and side effects are pretty much unheard of. Google EFT to learn more about how this is done... Treatment with this energy based therapy may keep millions out of prison... MNNaturopath

[RainbowPhoenix]

01:55 PM on 01/28/2011

Rape is defined as sex without the consent of one of the participants. These boys were to young to give informed consent, making any sexual activity with an adult statutory r@pe.

[RainbowPhoenix]

01:58 PM on 01/28/2011

R@pe is defined as sex without the consent of all parties involved. These boys were under the age of consent, making any sexual activity between them and an adult statutory r@pe.

[JezzusKrist]

02:04 PM on 01/28/2011

I stand by my statement and disagree wholeheartedly with your illogical view.

[El Howard]

01:35 PM on 01/28/2011

This is an unfortunate side effect of the laws being written and interpreted as gender neutral, which they must be since the legal system is not equipped to arbitrate gender. Females having sex with males below the age of consent must be treated exactly the same as males having sex with anybody below the age of consent. Also, getting someone drunk and/or stoned in order to get them to consent is rape, regardless of their age. That being said, I would have asked for a much lighter sentence -- punishment should be proportional to harm done, and being publicly exposed as having done this is plenty of punishment in and of itself.

[RainbowPhoenix]

01:40 PM on 01/28/2011

In cases involving sexual exploitation of minors, most of the damage is not revealed for years or even decades after the case is dealt with.

[El Howard]

02:02 PM on 01/28/2011

Rainbow, I AGREE with you that women should be treated exactly the same as men by the law. This even despite the argument that is virtually impossible to force a man to engage in sexual intercourse against his will. The harm comes from feelings of shame associated with being exploited; this can be reduced by not keeping these things secret and be helping the victims to understand that they are not to blame for being taken advantage of. The potential downsides of being exploited are worse for women (e.g. pregnancy), and our culture stigmatizes women much more than men for promiscuity (Charlie Sheen is a hero to some people!). Less stigma, less harm... is that so difficult to understand?

[AJ Christo]

12:01 PM on 01/28/2011

Sorry but that is pretty much every teenage boys fantasy, end of discussion.

[RainbowPhoenix]

12:05 PM on 01/28/2011

Which is why we have age of consent laws. Teenagers are not rational.

[LanceSmith]

12:11 PM on 01/28/2011

With that logic, we may as well overturn all age of consent laws...after all, it is also pretty much every teenage girl's fantasy, right?

[tom mi]

12:39 PM on 01/28/2011

I'd say it's rarely any teenage girl's fantasy. I'm only newly-progressive and while I'm on board with a lot of social justice topics, I'm seeing a disturbing expectation that we consider male and female sexuality to be equal. This would make laws easier to write, but it simply isn't rational. It's right down there with tax-cuts creating jobs or the flat earth society.

Shouldn't a progressive be open enough to question the their own preconceptions?

[JGV]

12:43 PM on 01/28/2011

I can't speak for teenage girls, but I can speak as a former teenage boy...this would have been awesome. Would it have caused me some sort of lasting psychological trauma, whether I knew it or not? Probably not, though I admit the possibility. I think if the boys were say, seniors, not freshman, that most people would have a less negative view of the situation.

In any case, it seems to me that this is more about upholding the rule of law than the actual situation...it's impossible to have uniform laws to prevent he sexual exploitation of minors if have to consider the different effects it might have on any one individual minor...what might be one priapic teen boy's fantasy could be anothers nightmare.

[FAQT]

11:43 AM on 01/28/2011

What if this Chicago mom was actually a male? And he got your 15 your old son into bed after supplying him with pot and alcohol? Would your son be living out a dream fantasy?

[RainbowPhoenix]

11:45 AM on 01/28/2011

Well I would but that's why we have age of consent laws. Teenagers are on average not rational.

[abhorson]

12:42 PM on 01/28/2011

well, it's not an "age of consent" but statutory rape - but, why exactly can't a 17year old boy have sex with a 30 year old woman ?

as a man, who was once a teenager (long time ago) I REALLY see nothing bad about it.

[tom mi]

11:57 AM on 01/28/2011

Perhaps it comes down to one's objectives in 'justice'. We could have sentencing guidelines be flexible to reflect actual damage to the victim, or we could broadly punish equally even in cases where lesser harm is done.
I tend to favor the former in this instance, while it seems many here prefer the latter.

[RainbowPhoenix]

12:05 PM on 01/28/2011

Except we don't know yet how much harm has actually been done. It could be decades before we do.

[LanceSmith]

12:09 PM on 01/28/2011

Tom, the problem with that approach is that gauging actual harm is far too subjective and difficult.

For example, one could say: "well your honor she was drunk and passed out and she doesn't remember what happened and she isn't pregnant or anything, so no harm done....please overturn my rape conviction."

Likewise, we can't construct rules based upon gender/race since there will always be exceptions to these stereotypes.

So really the only fair thing is to set the rules and expect everyone to live by them and be judged equally based upon action - not what is between their legs.

In this case, it is either illegal for an adult to have sex with a minor or it is not. The person's gender should have nothing to do with it.

[KingKrub]

11:39 AM on 01/28/2011

Reading some of these comments, i've the feeling that a great deal of therapy is necessary in this world.

[guitargeorge1964]

11:38 AM on 01/28/2011

This is an interesting coincidence. This morning while listening to the Writers' Almanac on KPFT (Pacifica) here in Houston, the host was describing a french woman writer. He said that while in her 50's she had an affair with her 16 year old stepson which caused a scandal. When she passed away she was the first woman in france given a state funeral. I was thinking when I heard it, that if that had happened today she would have been prosecuted, not celebrated. I also wondered if she would have been a man having an affair with a 16 year old step-daughter would it have been merely a scandal as well?

[LanceSmith]

11:17 AM on 01/28/2011

Amazing...as others have said, if she would have been a he, then we would have seen a far less positive spin on this one. We would have seen terms such as "pervert", "rapist", and "pedophile."

Either women and men are equal or they are not...you don't get to choose based upon context.

[abhorson]

12:46 PM on 01/28/2011

ok, I choose - "equal" is a term that means "the same" (identical) ... based on my short life I would say men and women are NOT the same at all ...

that the "equality" you might be alluding to refers to CERTAIN and limited legal rights (as voting, equal pay) but does not and should NOT extend to every need or facet of our lives.

[RainbowPhoenix]

12:49 PM on 01/28/2011

Equal protection under the law makes no such distictions.

[LanceSmith]

01:09 PM on 01/28/2011

So the term equality should only apply to things that benefit women then? Or are there areas where women should be punished more harshly then men simply because they are women?

See this whole female vs. male thing is confusing...when is discrimination ok?

As for this case in particular, it IS about legal rights: just as a right and just society doesn't keep half its population away from the voting machine simply because of gender, a right and just society doesn't punish half its population more harshly then the other simply because of gender.

You are trying to draw a distinction where none exists.

[tom mi]

10:02 AM on 01/28/2011

It's appropriate that she get less time - because it reflects the damage done to the victim. Most teenage boys would trade in Santa & the Tooth Fairy to have this woman visit their house in the night. The act won't harm them permanently, because they've probably wished it would happen about 10x a day for a couple years already.

Girls, totally different. Let's just accept that we're built differently and move on.

[RainbowPhoenix]

10:07 AM on 01/28/2011

Why is it different for girls?

[tom mi]

10:21 AM on 01/28/2011

[honesty]
Because girls would carry bad memories of coercion and exploitation that could trouble them for life.

I don't know if you're male or not, but those boys probably thought they'd won the sexual lottery. The woman probably deserves some jail time, if only for giving the boys the impression that sex later in life will come that easily. I jest, but I've been there, to an extent. I grew up in a conservative Christian home. When I was 5, my 7yr old brother talked our 15yr old babysitter into exposing herself to me. I was not traumatized in the least. I still remember it vaguely, but even at that age there was enough curiosity it didn't affect me. I continued in the church and grew into a mature adult, married 20yrs. All men are wired to be happily promiscuous. Monogamy is something we all begrudgingly accept for society to work.
[/honesty]

[LanceSmith]

11:19 AM on 01/28/2011

Uh no...let's not.

[Tully Mars 63]

08:39 AM on 01/28/2011

I have to agree with others who've posted that if this were a man the press report and the sentence would be totally different. I don't see any words like "pervert", "sex offender" or "must register for life" in the story. And what about her kids? Sounds like for now they're staying with her sister but she'll probably get out in 4-5 years and get them back. If this were a man the legal system would be making moves so he never has contact with them again.

[Michaelquerty]

07:30 AM on 01/28/2011

10 years for multiple counts of statutory rape? How did he, oh nm, it's a woman, she'll get out in 5years or less.

[theworldasweknowit]

08:21 AM on 01/28/2011

Yup and why? I see no reason why a woman should be given a different punishment than a man.

Rainbow said on the 25th "Either women should be equal to men or they shouldn't be. You
don't get to have it both ways." It seems like a lot of people disagree and I don't understand. Molestation is molestation and committed by male or female the sin is the same and the punishment should be too!

Off topic a bit but...another one that I don't understand is why female firefighters, when being tested, have lower weight requirements on what they have to be able to lift and carry. The 200lb person overcome by smoke can't adjust their weight when they discover that the rescuer is a woman!

Sorry- if you want equality, it needs to be across the board not selective. And I am female.

[Chris Remington]

08:48 AM on 01/28/2011

He is being sarcastic, women always get smaller sentences even though they are bigger perverts.

[abhorson]

12:56 PM on 01/28/2011

and good for you being "female" (I am assuming a "woman" since 'female' doesn't indicate species) but, how about you speak on behalf of what a teenage girl would feel in such a situation and let me, as a "male" ('man' ... human variety) tell you if it happened to me HUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY