Conan Unveils Nicolas Cage Terror Alert System (VIDEO)

Ever since Janet Napolitano announced the end of the color-coded terror alert system, there has been a lot of speculation about what exactly will be replacing it. The new "two-tiered" system Napolitano spoke about hasn't been fully explained, and aside from a government-mandated, "If we see something, we'll say something," policy, America's safety remains unassured.

Fortunately, Team Coco has someone on the inside at the Department of Homeland Security, and last night Conan was able to lay out the the brand new system in detail. Using five easy-to-understand Nicolas Cage-based levels, the public will now know if things are relatively calm, Threat Level 1: "Con Air", or if they are in imminent danger, Threat Level 5: "Wicker Man".

WATCH:

Comments

[jonathonz]

01:00 PM on 02/04/2011

He is a remarkably bad actor. How he gets to make as many movies as he does is completely beyond me.

[XM202]

10:14 AM on 02/06/2011

actually he can be quite the good actor, you just have to watch the right films.

[ocalasatpro]

09:07 AM on 02/04/2011

Oh, Man! Thanks for the laugh.

[Moxo]

10:09 PM on 02/03/2011

With the end of the color codes, does this mean John Boehner will change his tan from Orange to White?

[RorgeRetson]

04:16 AM on 02/03/2011

How this no-talent hack continues to get work is beyond me.

[Sean Dominish]

08:35 AM on 02/03/2011

Conan or Nick Cage?

[cookerman45]

10:22 AM on 02/03/2011

CONAN.

[ewj1]

05:40 PM on 02/07/2011

Either one I assume.

[Cloball]

09:32 PM on 02/03/2011

Feel the same way about Rush, Beck, Hannity, and O'Reilly.

Conan is not a hack!

[DarkTruths]

12:42 AM on 02/03/2011

Funny or not, that showed far more expressions than I thought Cage actually had.

[cookerman45]

11:11 PM on 02/02/2011

ifunniest thing Conan ever did..........if he did not steal it.

[Sol76]

09:38 PM on 02/02/2011

I'm glad there was no terror alert level for a Ghost Rider clip.

[bridgeman]

08:39 PM on 02/02/2011

Nicolas is a victim of his financial DEBT.

He is talented... but he has to sell his soul by acting in horribly written scripts to dig himself out of
his self inflicted financial wounds.

[patrickpeppers]

04:52 PM on 02/03/2011

Also he is a terrible actor. That can't help either.

[bridgeman]

06:43 PM on 02/03/2011

i disagree...

but i would agree that his desperation to get out of debt has forced him to choice horrible scripts that he wasn't sold on.

It definitely comes out in his acting.

[Cloball]

09:34 PM on 02/03/2011

He made a lot of these movies before he was in debt though.

[ewj1]

05:42 PM on 02/07/2011

Actually not true, he began making really bad films when he got into money trouble in 2003, it just came to a head in 2008.

[Keith Cozart]

07:37 PM on 02/02/2011

really surprised Knowing wasn't Level 5 .. Aliens are coming for your kids, and to kill everyone else

[GSR]

09:04 PM on 02/02/2011

NOT THE BEES AAAAGGHH!
What in KNOW1NG competes with that little jem?
BTW. Remember all the constant threat alerts Fox used to run during 2003 and 2004 to scare people into voting for Bush? I think Fox may well employ the rapturistic moments from Knowing as a 2012 threat alert.

[jonathonz]

01:03 PM on 02/04/2011

Makes me wonder how the end of the Mayan calendar will play into the 2012 election...seems silly to have to factor in but I'm sure it will play a part...

[Rich Phitzwell]

06:39 PM on 02/02/2011

OMG Cage has more than one expression, sorta.

[twiddle723]

02:52 PM on 02/02/2011

Now that was funny as hell.

[sirbobloblaw666]

02:50 PM on 02/02/2011

Comic Goodness.

[wavesandmeans]

02:46 PM on 02/02/2011

Check out this song called "Orange Alert Day"

http://soundcloud.com/theanchorbabies/orange-alert-day

[Jarrod38]

02:33 PM on 02/02/2011

This should be level 6.
http://filmdrunk.uproxx.com/2009/03/breaking-news-nic-cages-hair-is-like-a-bird

[Slade the Slide]

12:40 PM on 02/02/2011

I just cannot take Cage seriously. Ever.

I only own two movies that he has been in: Raising Arizona & Bringing Out the Dead and the reasons aren't because of him. I could go without ever seeing another Cage film in my life to be honest.

[rini]

12:52 PM on 02/02/2011

Adaptation was actually amazing. He was actually good in this.

[Slade the Slide]

06:08 PM on 02/02/2011

I'm willing to give it a shot, but I'm not expecting much with Cage. If I like the movie, it will be due to the writing and directing. I've suffered enough of Cage. If he impresses me in the flick then I'll be honestly surprised. But I'm not one to not change my opinion of someone. It's just so far, in my view, he hasn't lived up to the caliber he's reached. Must be nice having connections in Hollywood.

[Sol76]

09:41 PM on 02/02/2011

If you liked Bringing Out the Dead you will probably like Bad Lieutenant.