Ever since Janet Napolitano announced the end of the color-coded terror alert system, there has been a lot of speculation about what exactly will be replacing it. The new "two-tiered" system Napolitano spoke about hasn't been fully explained, and aside from a government-mandated, "If we see something, we'll say something," policy, America's safety remains unassured.
Fortunately, Team Coco has someone on the inside at the Department of Homeland Security, and last night Conan was able to lay out the the brand new system in detail. Using five easy-to-understand Nicolas Cage-based levels, the public will now know if things are relatively calm, Threat Level 1: "Con Air", or if they are in imminent danger, Threat Level 5: "Wicker Man".
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