02/10/2011 10:22 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Ruth Madoff Turned Away At Son Mark Madoff's Memorial

Ruth Madoff flew to Connecticut to be at her son's memorial service, but Mark Madoff's grieving widow would have none of it.

A source tells People that Stephanie Madoff barred Ruth from coming to the memorial, after her husband Mark committed suicide in December.

"[Ruth] told me, 'At night, it gets to me -- the shame, the disgrace, all the stuff that killed Mark,'" the source said.

From the Post:

When Bernard Madoff's Ponzi scheme collapsed, Mark and his brother, Andrew, warned their mother: It's him or us.

Ruth, 69, chose her cherished sons, the source said -- until Bernie Madoff was beaten in prison in 2009. She returned to the 72-year-old swindler's side, infuriating the two sons, who cut her out of their lives.

According to the source, Ruth Madoff hides her identity by using her maiden name, Alpern, and "dyes her hair red when venturing out to rent dollar DVDs or visit the public library."