Sharon Salzberg Explains Real Happiness

What is happiness?

According to Sharon Salzberg, renowned meditation teacher and author of the new book, "Real Happiness: The Power of Meditation," many of us only think we know.

Salzberg recently sat down with ABC News' Dan Harris to discuss her new book, what real happiness is -- and what it is not.

Although there are many things that can make us happy on a day-to-day basis -- for Harris that would be winning a tennis match or an argument -- Salzberg believes it is necessary to "self-generate a sense of stability and presence and love" and find a source of happiness "not dependent on conditions." A happiness too dependent upon external factors leaves us "devastated" when it goes away, she warns.

Salzberg hails her discovery of meditation in college as the key to unlocking that self-generated sense of happiness, something that helped her overcome a painful childhood filled with trauma and instability. In the 30 years that she has taught meditation, she has helped countless students achieve that same resilience.

She admits that she does not feel happy all the time, but her mindfulness training allows her to "watch her mind" and keep those negative emotions in check. For example, if she feels anxiety or distress, she can "feel a surge of anger... watch it arise and then pass." Who wouldn't want that?

Salzberg's new book aims to erase the stigma associated with meditation and challenges us all to find real happiness.

WATCH:

Comments

[Jim Anderson]

09:08 PM on 02/23/2011

Happiness is when people leave me the F**K alone.

[Hillbilly49]

10:54 AM on 02/23/2011

"Some of you say religion makes people happy. So does laughing gas."

— Clarence Darrow  1938

[Ventoi]

11:00 PM on 02/20/2011

For me...
real happiness would be waking up rested...
relating to those I love in a pleasant and gentle manner..
preparing food for them...sharing and partaking in that food..
in moderation...in singular joy in the company of those I love...
It is the sigh that would come each time you looked upon those people during the day...
knowing they are there...
and the relief that would come at days end to settle them into their beds safely.
It is being who you are without the burdens of carrying those who do not know who they are.

[itsalladream]

08:43 PM on 02/20/2011

The only worthwhile happiness is unconditional happiness, one that comes about on its own from within. It's not happiness as the other side of unhappiness. That is duality. Our true nature is one of contentment and peace, this is the happiness of living as we were all meant to.

[Saidas]

08:40 PM on 02/20/2011

Happiness isn't around the corner. It is the corner.

[peterz]

11:48 AM on 02/20/2011

For some reason I'm reminded of Chopra, a guy repackaging and shoveling out spiritual advise and making millions in the process. What's really going on there..Do we really want advise from a guy who wears gawdy high-priced glasses and charges big dollars for his retreats?

Be very skeptical of anyone who gives seminars on life and philosophy and religion for big money...

[timm553]

11:32 AM on 02/20/2011

What constitutes happiness for someone won't necessarily translate into happiness for another. I think it's futile to attempt to tell others what happiness is, and how to attain it.

[Patricia Carter]

11:22 AM on 02/20/2011

I SO doubt that Sharon has the answer. But she's willing to make a $ telling you she does.

[ZenSufi]

10:58 AM on 02/20/2011

Happiness is a warm sun.

[vdunn33]

04:27 PM on 02/19/2011

someday somebody will put it all together that happiness is backup beepers on all vehicles

[David4FreePress]

06:03 PM on 02/18/2011

IMHO, real happiness is just the right kind of subtle energy flow.
It can come from many different sources, including internal generation, meditation, yoga, tai chi, exercise, relationships, religion, etc.. All of these generate energy flow in good ways.
Avoiding negative energy, anger, worry also helps to promote good energy flow. The common presence of greed, anger and fear mongering in our society does great harm to our happiness.
Having the internal skills to generate the right energy flow internally reduces dependence on external energy sources.
Buddhism is one of the ultimate sources, but not the only source.
I think that there is much more in common between people than is apparent. I think that there is so much branding that goes on that the commonality of everything is obscured.

[Klarsonent]

05:23 PM on 02/20/2011

Very good post. I'm in agreement.

[Eric N Davis]

04:24 PM on 02/18/2011

I think some people overthink happiness way too much.

I have a very simple definition of what happiness is and how to achieve it.

Happiness is simply based on an evaluation of a person's current life circumstances compared to what they believe their current life circumstances SHOULD BE. By this, I'm NOT saying that happines is based on what a person HAS compared to what they WANT TO HAVE. I'm saying it's what they have compared to what they think they should have.

To illustrate: A person may have suffered a life-changing debilitating injury and be just as happy 5 years later as a person who won millions of dollars in the lottery. Likewise a person who is atheist their entire life may be just as happy as a life-long Christian. The reason why all these people can be equally happy, even though their life circumstances are vastly different, is based on the expectations of life they project onto themselves. A paraplegic will have entirely different expectations for their life than a lottery winner. So, likewise, each of these people could end up being as miserable as each other, if they feel their lives aren't progressing the way they expect they should.

It's as simple as: Compare your life now, with where you believe you SHOULD BE now. That will mirror your present state of happiness.

See also: http://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_asks_why_are_we_happy.html

[timm553]

11:36 AM on 02/20/2011

"I think some people overthink happiness way too much."
***************************
Eric, I fanned you at sometime in the past but after reading this post I think that you've "overthought" this a bit much yourself.

Keep the faith.

[Eric N Davis]

06:21 PM on 02/20/2011

If you think I "overthought" this subject, then you don't understand the message I was trying to make.

And if you want people to "Keep the faith", then why would you choose to be a fan of an atheist? Sounds like you have underthought your decisions.

[Sherri Weitnauer]

01:51 AM on 03/21/2011

I love your definition of "happiness." I've read variations of this theme before. Personally, I have a difficult time capturing or even defining moments of happiness. I try not to dwell on my inability to create and sustain these times. I'm sure they occur, but I believe they are rare and temporary.
I feel rather foolish discussing this subect. I think I have never really felt entitled to personal happiness. I see so much pain and suffering in the world and feel guilty that I fumble along unscathed.
I know where I WOULD LIKE TO BE NOW and I know it will take hard work to get there. Yet, I am not sure there will be a pot of gold smiles when I get there. I hope there will be satisfaction for a job well done. Is that happiness??

[SangZe]

09:50 AM on 02/18/2011

Lots of money and no taxes.

[Daleri Rileda]

07:20 AM on 02/18/2011

The only way to be truly happy is if you have a clear conscience and the only way to have a clear conscience, is to say that only our Maker Himself is able to do anything at all for us because no one else can. He alone is our Savior Himself because no one else can be.

[onwisconsin]

03:56 PM on 02/18/2011

Or you can believe that we are here by chance and evolution and that all we have is this one life. That spurs us to do all we can NOW to make this world a better place. Ethics are inherent in a person, not derived from religion. If we listen to ourselves well enough, we find that humans work best in community with one another and we find pleasure in helping others, holding the hand of a child or an elder, and making each other smile.

But that's just one atheist's opinion.

[Daleri Rileda]

05:59 PM on 02/18/2011

I can't believe in chance and evolution because science doesn't support that.

Your "kindness" then, would be to lead people to believe things that are not true.

You cannot possibly tell people that they have a Maker that loves and cares for them.

...and yet there is no working function in life forms without having a Maker.

There is no millions of years if you cannot account for the hundreds of square miles of strata deposited around the globe containing all of the fossils

[B Silk]

12:13 AM on 02/19/2011

In admiration, I quote you: "Ethics are inherent in a person, not derived from religion. If we listen to ourselves well enough, we find that humans work best in community with one another and we find pleasure in helping others, holding the hand of a child or an elder, and making each other smile."

I would fan you again, if I could.

[SocBeat]

11:32 AM on 02/21/2011

Daleri, thank you for telling me that I only think I'm happy. Without your insight I might very well have lived out my days fooling myself into thinking I'm happy when really I'm miserable and didn't know it.

Given that I still think your religious views are complete nonsense, I'll just have to die miserable now.

[FreedToChoose]

11:41 PM on 02/17/2011

What is happiness? Good question. When you find the answer, encourage others to do likewise, not do what you do, but find their way.

Mythology is filled with the 'secrets' to finding happiness. That each Arthurian knight on a quest for the grail (an authentic life?) entered the forest (the mystery?) at a different point and took a different route may hold an ultimate truth.

[Saidas]

04:24 PM on 02/20/2011

We do not find happiness, we are happiness. Babies are born manifesting love and happiness and other than that is learned along the way.