Noemie Lenoir Breaks Silence On Suicide Attempt: 'I Felt Really Alone'

French model Noemie Lenoir has broken her silence on her suicide attempt last May. Lenoir was found unconscious in a forest in La Celle-Saint-Cloud outside Paris after overdosing on drugs and alcohol at the home of her on-again, off-again boyfriend ex-Chelsea football star Claude Makelele. She was in a coma for a week but made a full physical recovery, returning to work one month later.

She recently sat down with the Guardian's Jess Cartner-Morley to talk about what happened and why:

"I did something really, really stupid. I had been living in New York and I moved back to Paris, to try again with the father of my son." Lenoir has a six-year-old son, Kelyan, from her relationship with Makelele. "It was a big change. I wasn't so healthy in Paris... I couldn't find a gym, and exercise is important to me because I am very hyper." According to people close to her, she was also drinking too much at this point. "I came straight from New York to living in Claude's house, and I really wanted it to work, and it didn't work out. He hurt me... so I decided... I don't know how to say this. It was like a bad, bad depression, a very deep depression. I felt really alone."

Lenoir explained that she came to realize that Claude was not the man for her and they'll never be friends. But, she said, he is still a good dad. She added that the most painful part of the entire situation is that one day, her son will find out about all of this:

"People say, 'How could she do it, how could she try and kill herself, didn't she think about her son?' But they don't understand. I love my son so much. But I didn't think I was good enough, I thought I was poison. Poison for me and poison for him. When I was depressed I felt like I was poisoning his life by being in it. I thought he would be better with his dad and my mum to look after him. I didn't realise I was hurting anyone, until I woke up in the hospital and saw my mum crying."

Read the rest at the Guardian.

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Need help? In the U.S., call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255

Comments

[FlaviaDeLuce]

03:54 PM on 02/22/2011

Omg that's horrible.... family suffers the most when people commit suicide, thank goodness she's okay and learned from it.. the guy sounds like a real tool

[ptrgamb]

09:08 PM on 02/21/2011

She appears to be attractive

[woodcut]

12:04 PM on 02/21/2011

Depression & despair are treatable. But who's to say we're all supposed to live to be 90 years old?

"Being tired of life and in very poor health are becoming more frequent reasons to seek help to commit suicide than in the past," said Susanne Fischer...
http://tinyurl.com/6eumso8

[pgurlatl]

08:14 AM on 02/21/2011

I've always been a fan of hers. I never understood what she saw in that soccer player. He's not the most attractive man and its been known that he never treated her well.

But unfortunately, you love who you love.

I hope she really has moved past him.

One of my favorite real life love stories is about Gwen Stefani who was in love for a very long time with one of her bandmates. She was open and honest about the turmoil it caused in her mind and soul. But look at her now. She is married to a gorgeous man who seems to be enamored by her, she has 2 beautiful boys, is more successful as a solo artist, has her own design company, and is now a spokesperson for L'oreal. She overcame serious heartbreak and is doing way better than she could ever dream.

[bwright85]

10:03 AM on 02/21/2011

Yea, but Gavin also had a "secret" daughter from a previous relationship what he hid from Gwen for the first few years of thier relationship. She has been open about how painful that was for her to find out. I wish people would stop holding "celebrity" relationships to such high esteem. Hollywood relationships tend to be fickle and only seem fine and normal from the outside looking in. The rate of divorces and splits in the press should be a testament to that.

[pgurlatl]

07:15 PM on 02/21/2011

I'm not looking to Hollywood for relationships. I'm making a comparison about someone in the limelight who was devastated by a bad breakup. And how suicide isn't the answer. Things can turn around for you and be even better than you imagined.

[Angie Daniels]

01:43 AM on 02/21/2011

I am proud of this woman for speaking up. As a former suicidal person, you really feel that people in your life would be better off if your toxic self isn't there. It's a very isolating and negative space to be in and only those with good resources, family, friends, doctors and renewed faith and inner strength can overcome those feelings.

I pray for anyone who gets to that dark place.

[Chicago0048]

03:58 PM on 02/20/2011

She is a pretty woman.

[Melpomene42]

06:09 PM on 02/20/2011

Try to have a little compassion. Depression is a complex mental illness. Just because you've never experienced it doesn't mean you can't or shouldn't feel empathy for those who do (or that you won't someday possibly go through it yourself, for that matter).

[Kim Visan]

10:43 AM on 02/20/2011

Any woman with the beauty advantage has no right to even think about suicide!

[Ms KS Farmer]

01:13 PM on 02/20/2011

Really? What an ignorant, ignorant post.

[bluemonk611]

08:16 PM on 02/20/2011

I agree...ridiculous.

[one1byke]

01:18 PM on 02/20/2011

I'm sure you were going for humor; and, i bet to some, it's charming.
But, this is about women killing themselves because they devalue themselves.
That's not so funny.

[Gavin Saunders]

07:24 AM on 02/20/2011

What a shame we feel obligated to keep how we are feeling to ourselves.

How about a weekly initiative like 'Lets Be Open About How We Feel Fridays' where if you are asked how you feel you don't get pressured into compounding your aloneness by lying so that the other person doesn't feel uncomfortable.

[bluemonk611]

08:17 PM on 02/20/2011

That sounds like a fantastic idea.... would probably get a lot of people fired... but in the long run probably would be worth it.

This upcoming Friday I will see if I can stick to it.

[klwoo]

06:15 AM on 02/20/2011

Interview was in The Guardian, not The Telegraph. Even links to Guardian's website!

[Lozange]

05:08 AM on 02/20/2011

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1277823/Noemie-Lenoir-suicide-bid-Is-Carl-Hirschmanns-underage-sex-trial-blame.html

[Lozange]

05:06 AM on 02/20/2011

Noemie's DJ boyfriend had also been indicted around that time on charges of drugging and raping women. Switzerland I think it was. That had to have been a contributing factor to depression though she doesn't speak about that. The DJ hangs out with Princess Caroline's son Pierre. They're on his Twitter pic together...

[Lozange]

09:15 PM on 02/20/2011

It goes towards the possibility that she is still censoring herself about the causes of her breakdown in light of some rather powerful people whose feathers she might ruffle. I think her despair was deeper than she admits, and that her isolation is not fully broken.

[sadie and boo]

10:59 PM on 02/19/2011

Poor thing. I'm really sorry for her.

[noladebby]

10:50 PM on 02/19/2011

Girl you are too beautiful to attempt suicide because of a man.

[shutterbabe]

11:41 AM on 02/20/2011

Right on, noladebby. [faved]

[Lindsey Gregory]

05:05 PM on 02/20/2011

Her beauty has nothing to do with w/e emotional pain she feels.

[Hoosierbrad]

10:22 PM on 02/19/2011

The problem with a lot of 'celebrities' is that they believe that they are different from the rest of us. They think they have to be involved with other 'celebrities' in their love lives, when this is probably not a good idea. I wish her well, and the same for the child, as well.

[Angie Daniels]

01:47 AM on 02/21/2011

The only difference between you and her is that she's in the public eye and you are not. Obviously the teenager that kills him/herself in your community isn't a celebrity. But both are human beings and deserve to know that we who share the planet with them give a damn about them. Your comment is so cold and callous that I really don't believe you wish her well. Her love life could've been with the bartender on the corner but if she felt lonely and it didn't work out, she might have gotten to the same place. Don't blame in on celebrity. Blame it on a world that views emotions as weakness and people prefer to look the other way versus take a moment to care about people.