WOMEN
02/20/2011 04:46 pm ET Updated Jun 29, 2011

Classic Joan

I interviewed Joan Rivers for my book, "Growing Up Laughing," and she had me in stitches for most of our conversation. Here are some of my favorite Joan zingers. -MT

"A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's considered a tramp."

"I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was, 'The man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds."

"I don't excercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor."

"I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again."

"I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio."

"I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property!'"

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