This Week's Family Dinner Download: The Crush Of Schoolwork

In her new cookbook, The Family Dinner, Laurie David talks about the importance of families making a ritual of sitting down to dinner together, and how family dinners offer a great opportunity for meaningful discussions about the day's news. "Dinner," she says, "is as much about digestible conversation as it is about delicious food."

We couldn't agree more. So HuffPost has joined with Laurie to launch a new feature we're calling HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads. Every Friday afternoon, just in time for dinner, our editors highlight one of the most compelling news stories of the week -- stories that will spark a lively discussion among the whole family.

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This time of year, students of all levels are feeling the heat. Many are in the midst of a barrage of midterms; others are cramming for upcoming tests. And older students are frantically putting the finishing touches on their college applications, prepping for high-pressure interviews, or anxiously waiting to hear their fate --- and where they'll be spending the next four years of their lives. On HuffPost Education, Harvard's Carleton Kendrick describes how over the years he has seen growing numbers of "frightened, pressured high achievers" who have "trouble finding their own voices." They "had been advised, persuaded, and professionally coached," he explained, "into believing that school's only purpose is to get the grades that will gain them admission into an elite college."

In short, kids of all ages are getting mightily stressed out. And the data backs this up: last month the Times reported that the emotional health of college freshmen is at its lowest level on record. Campus counselors across the country are seeing more and more students arriving at college stressed, depressed, on psychiatric medications, or all of the above.

Are you stressed about schoolwork? What stresses you out the most? What do you think homework accomplishes and do you think you get too much of it? Is there a case to be made for no homework at all? Do you feel that there's a distinct path toward college that you're unable to deviate from if you want to succeed? Do you pursue volunteer work, athletics and other extra-curricular activities because you're genuinely interested in them or because you feel you need to? Is learning still fun?

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To see last week's Family Dinner Download, click here.

Subscribe to receive HuffPost Family Dinner Downloads by email every Friday afternoon.

For more tips and recipes, check out The Family Dinner: Great Ways to Connect with Your Kids, One Meal at a Time by Laurie David and Kirstin Uhrenholdt (thefamilydinnerbook.com).

Comments

[gutenmorgen]

03:00 PM on 03/06/2011

I can count the number of times that I got homework during all of my school years on the fingers of both hands. I am not a genius. Nevertheless I got a PhD in Chemistry. I did study and read some at home but almost never on material assigned by my school. Looking back I believe that I learned more outside than in school.

[kburlz]

02:07 PM on 03/06/2011

Get rid of summer vacation and homework. 7 hours a day is plenty of time for children to learn enough, but when you try of cram all their education into half the days in a calendar year we fall behind other countries. It would leave kids plenty of time every evening and week end to pursue their own interests without stressing them out.

[abbienormal]

10:46 AM on 03/06/2011

Homework would be a lot less stressful if kids could train themselves to sit alone in a room, without distractions, and get it done. Our kids cannot focus on the task at hand because they allow social media and TV to get in the way.

My younger son is a senior in high school. His phone plan has never had the ability to text and he has no TV in his room, just music.

Even with senior-itis, he gets his work done.

[SusanX]

09:47 AM on 03/06/2011

If you are concerned about today's stressed-out student, look for this film in your area and join the discussion:

http://www.racetonowhere.com/

[Deaninphilly]

07:03 AM on 03/06/2011

Please, we have the most relaxed kids in the world. They worry about nothing has Mommy and Daddy usually take care of everything for them. Didn't do your homework, no problem you pass anyway.

[SlurmsMcKenzie]

03:57 PM on 03/05/2011

After being involved with my son's grade school. i no longer have much respect for education. It seems to be a completely self-serving system that has nothing to do with a positive out-come for kids. It all seems to be about administrators and teachers teaching silly tests the students take over and over until they pass so the school gets funding.

[J A F O]

04:05 PM on 03/05/2011

that's why schools today are a joke, thanks to programs like No Child Left behind and Race to the Top. Heck, even teacher certification in many places is little more than passing a test.

[Spartan112]

07:46 PM on 03/05/2011

Don't blame teachers. Blame the state for mandating the tests and using success on them as a means to determine funding.

[abbienormal]

10:37 AM on 03/06/2011

Exactly.

I'm a MSU grad. Miss the place.

[katmeyster]

03:48 PM on 03/05/2011

As a community college instructor I find it difficult to believe that very many students are getting stressed out about schoolwork -- they obviously haven't done any.

[Spartan112]

07:47 PM on 03/05/2011

Note...Community College...They are there because they didn't do the work the first time around.

[MrBiggs]

07:52 AM on 03/06/2011

haha...is this true? Or simply your steroptypical opinion of community college?

[LisaLisa1234]

09:36 AM on 03/06/2011

Consider seeing the documentary film "Race to Nowhere". It had some very thought-provoking ideas about the amount of homework required in schools in order to cover the amount of material required for NCLB testing.

There was a study done, as well as anecdotal evidence described, in which AP students actually increased their test scores by doing *less* homework.

If we could somehow get the teaching back to the classroom (this not the teachers' faults, but the administrations & all the way up to the feds), instead of the teacher outlining the material that's required for the student to learn at home, you might find the students coming to you better prepared. How we do that, I have no idea. Every education discussion seems to go in the opposite direction.

[hoho5973]

02:44 PM on 03/05/2011

Think schoolwork is stressful? Wait 'till the real world.

[MsVella]

08:21 AM on 03/06/2011

I found it to be the exact opposite

[multidoc]

10:18 AM on 03/06/2011

I did too, and I'm OLD. (meaning, over 30)

[mlaiuppa]

02:31 PM on 03/05/2011

I've got the opposite problem in my classroom.

I have a student that spends his time making sure no one learns. Not him. Not anyone else in the class.

I took him aside after school and asked him what he was going to do when he grew up. He said go to college. I said go to college isn't a job. What job was he going to do for the rest of his life. He said play football.

This will never happen.

To play pro ball you have to play college ball on a winning team. To do that you need to get into college. To get into college you need good grades and you need to play on a high school team that is a division one winner. To play on a high school team that is a division one winner you not only have to get into that high school you have to have and maintain good grades. If you fail a class you don't play. If you get suspended for behavior you don't play and might get kicked off the team. To get into that high school you then have to get good grades in middle school. And to get good grades in middle school, you're going to have to get good grades in elementary school. Because if you miss stuff in a lower grade, you'll only need to relearn it before you can get the good grades later on.

Too many student don't get this correlation.

[Spartan112]

07:51 PM on 03/05/2011

Lol, since when do college athletes have to maintain good grades?

[mlaiuppa]

04:09 AM on 03/06/2011

Some schools have policies that they don't play if their grades slip. This is especially true if they are on scholarship.

All high schools have the same mandate. If your'e failing classes or have too many behavior referrals, you don't play.

Pro ball doesn't like to hire behavior problems or stupid players. They want smart players that get good grades and are team players.

[Spike5]

10:54 AM on 03/06/2011

Tate Forcier being dropped from the Michigan football team?

[glesslib]

01:55 PM on 03/05/2011

Wonder is this is the conversation over dinner in China, Japan, India, and all the other countries where education is cherished more highly than in the U.S. If we don't want to get our butts kicked around, we need to stop making our kids into a bunch of whiners who are just so "stressed" over having to interrupt their texting and gaming it do their homework. If we want our kids to be well-educated, we need to cut out all this silliness and encourage them to crack the books.

[f2900]

11:52 PM on 03/05/2011

Do you actually have a teenager going to a decent high school? My daughter is a sophomore taking a college prep program which includes a foreign language, AP biology, an honors English course, and an honors mathematics course. She does anywhere from 2 - 5 hours of homework per night and has projects and papers to work on nearly every weekend. With participation in two sports, she doesn't have much time for friends or a personal life, let alone texting and gaming. There are many misconceptions about what is going on in many students' lives. The kids who want to get into a decent college are being pushed harder and harder every year. Just how far can we push them before we kill their love of learning?

[Spartan112]

06:04 AM on 03/06/2011

2 hours is ok, 5 is too much. Recent studies cast doubt on to how much good homework actually does.

[HelloTygerlily]

06:48 PM on 03/06/2011

Does your job require you to work 8 hours a day and then come home and do another 2-5 hours of work? I think not. Why should we expect that of our kids? Why can't they learn what they need to learn at school?

[Spartan112]

12:36 PM on 03/06/2011

The wealthiest chinese, taiwanese and s.korean families send their kids to US prep schools so they will be better adapted to US colleges.

[glesslib]

01:48 PM on 03/06/2011

Yes, I know. My sibling was a department head at one of those prep schools. The other reason they send their kids here is because they perceive that the competition is not as great.

[gladeye]

12:54 PM on 03/05/2011

I'm a teacher and I don't teach to the standardized tests. I do give homework though, but I try to make it meaningful, not busy work. I also consider studying and reading to be homework. I see a lot of kids waaay overscheduled outside of school, so sometimes it's hard to get them or their parents to see school as a priority. Their afterschool lives are micromanaged and scheduled with lessons, practices, rehearsals, playoffs, dinners, etc. They don't have spouses, children, or jobs to tend to after school. They should be building social skills without hovering mommies/daddies/nannies and they should develop the self-discipline and responsibility to do a reasonable (usually under an hour) amount of homework. You can't have it both ways though. You can't cry about too much homework AND demand that your kid's school outperforms others.

[emlr]

03:27 PM on 03/05/2011

I agree that one hour of homework is reasonable. After all they sit in class for around 8 hours and need some downtime to be kids. But that does not mean one hour of math and one hour of English and one hour of science, etc.

[Spartan112]

07:55 PM on 03/05/2011

Agreed, too many teachers think it is their right to load kids up with an hour a night. If they are carrying 6 subjects and not getting home until after 5 or 6 how on earth can they get all of this done?

[LPH]

05:37 AM on 03/06/2011

Sorry but No kid sits in public school classes 8 hours a day; The norm is less than 6 classes (some only take 5). They may be on the school grounds but they are not in classes.

But it does beg a question, does PE help students relieve stress? Schools that cut PE should reconsider the decision.

[Margery Kempe]

02:18 AM on 03/06/2011

I am so glad you wrote this. I recall political ads for a school board here in the OC some decades ago, and it was all about more homework for kids because...I think just because. I am so grateful my son is not loaded up with homework that he has no time for himself. Kids should not be staying up until 11pm to do homework (as I hear happens with some of my sons peers). I say that both as a mom and as a college educator. These are kids, not test scores.

[emlr]

12:39 PM on 03/05/2011

My grand son who is in the 3rd grade came home the other night with 29 spelling words. He had to give the definition and write the words and definition 4 time each Not only that, he had to look up and write the conjugation of each word and write that 4 times! We figured he had 500 words/sentences to write and that was just for spelling. He also had math homework. My daughter in law told him to only do 5 words and their conjugations and she would call the teacher in the AM. Teacher said it was because they were preparing to be tested.
Thank you Dubya for NCLB.

[Joshua Chou]

01:51 PM on 03/05/2011

unfortunately, and I hate to say this, but you can thank Ted Kennedy as well for NCLB. Terrible program.

[glesslib]

02:02 PM on 03/05/2011

Grandma, I'll bet you had homework like that many times, and no one called the teacher, nor did you complain to your parents, because they wouldn't have done a thing about it. He'll live, I guarantee. He won't die from it, nor commit suicide. The assignment sounds like overkill, but a parent calling the teacher to complain about every assignment we don't agree with is not only a waste of time, it gives the child the entirely wrong message about personal obligations.

[emlr]

03:23 PM on 03/05/2011

I'm not your grandma so don't presume.
I didn't even have homework like that in high school! Dam* straight it's overkill. He was defeated before he even started. What good does that do? And my daughter in law doesn't call the teacher to complain about assignments. There is no message coming through when a child is overwhelmed.

[Spartan112]

07:58 PM on 03/05/2011

I don't know about you, but I never had regular homework until middle school, my 1st grade son has it every night. The amount he has is mostly manageable but we have to do it as soon as he gets home. He has ADHD and once the meds wear off he gets easily frustrated with his work.

[dnb310]

09:36 PM on 03/04/2011

Good advice Laurie, have nanny pick up the kids from tutoring and ballet, have cook make something nice, tell the girls at the committee that the cell is off for the night. Then we can all have some quality time.

When is the last time you worked for a living, hell, whens the last time you washed a dish.

No, seriously, I hang on your every word... please, enlighten me more.

[Spike5]

11:06 AM on 03/06/2011

I guess people who work don't eat. Didn't know that.

'Dinner' can be microwaved pizza or hot dogs and beans. The point is that there is also value in using it as a time to be together, to share ideas and thoughts and concerns, to touch base with each other instead of 'grazing' individually or staring at the TV.

[dnb310]

02:56 PM on 03/06/2011

The point is that Laurie David is an out of touch dilettante, while I'm sure that she does some very useful work on her committees, the idea of her dispensing advise (obvious and patronizing advice at that) to the point where she is actually assigning topics of conversation is patently ridiculous.

There is not one moment of Laurie Davids day that is not controlled, organized and directed by Laurie Davis. Most of us do not have that luxury.

[dnb310]

03:05 PM on 03/06/2011

I mean seriously, do you think that LD is telling parents anything that they don't know? Most parents I know try there very best, 24 house a day to give all that they can to there kids, the last thing the need is a voice from on high telling them that they are not doing enough. It's unhelpful, condescending and , frankly obnoxious.