Stephen Colbert Begs Shamelessly For An iPad 2 (VIDEO)

On Monday, Stephen Colbert, host of the daily The Colbert Report, begged Steve Jobs to give him Apple's new tablet PC, the iPad 2.

The iPad refresh debuted last week and features a slimmer build, a faster processor and dual webcams. Colbert told his audience that he hasn't been able to get the gadget out of his head since its unveiling. "I'm not sleeping, I'm not eating, I'm not even sleep-eating--not matter how much Ambien I take."

Colbert displayed a picture of the tablet and promptly lost his composure, to the delight of his audience. "Oh my God! I need it! I need it! Give it to me! Is that the old one or the new one? I can't tell! It's just so beautiful. Come on, Apple, give me one through the TV" he pleaded. "I know you have the technology. It's just so much better. Come on, it has dual-core A5 CPU! [...] That means it can not run Flash nine times faster."

Colbert then pulled out his original iPad, which Apple gifted to him last year. While he used to fawn over his tablet device, he seems to have lost interest now that the upgrade is out. "My original iPad is such a hunk of c**p," he said, waving around his iPad 1.

Stephen noted that the iPad 2 drops on March 11 (this Friday) and issued a warning to impatient viewers: "You cannot make an iPad 2 by putting two iPad 1's in a panini press. No matter how much provolone you put in the middle."

"Please, Apple," Colbert concluded, "make me the 'appiest' man in the world. Give me an iPad 2. Also, I could use a new panini press."

If Stephen does get an iPad 2, he may be left wondering what to do with the obsolete model. We're willing to bet that his original iPad chops vegetables as well as it did last year, when he whipped up a fresh tomato salsa using an iPad instead of a knife.

WATCH:

Comments

[IWantTofu]

05:47 PM on 03/10/2011

I remember back to when he got his iPad. He had everyone in the audience check under their seat for a special gift. Under everyones seat was a picture of Colbert with his iPad.

[bandillero]

03:58 PM on 03/10/2011

I found this actually disgusting (the humor didn't disguise the stupidity and crassiness)

[SamOhSam]

10:41 AM on 03/10/2011

I just mailed him one... an iPad 1 with 16GB hehehe he is going to be PO

[Devon Chambers]

08:17 PM on 03/09/2011

Since it is already the 9th and it comes out Friday I wouldn't hold high hopes of Apple giving him his own iPad 2 early. WOULD love to see Steve go on Colbert but at last ....

[Ampoliros]

02:27 PM on 03/09/2011

APPLE! GIVE THE MAN AN iPAD2

no...wait

APPLE! GIVE ME AN iPOD2! I'd prefer one signed by Stephen Colbert!

[Penandcaper]

09:08 AM on 03/09/2011

If there is anyone out there with a bunch of iPad 2s you have no use for, would you send one to me 2?

[Edward Standley]

08:09 AM on 03/09/2011

For next to nothing, Apple could give one to Glenn Beck and two to Stephen. How cool would that be?

[filo]

08:29 AM on 03/09/2011

Glen would turn it upside down and shake it to reboot.

[Penandcaper]

09:12 AM on 03/09/2011

I think he would just look at himself in the reflection.

[markburn]

01:52 PM on 03/09/2011

Glen Beck would throw it away after someone would tell him, that H*tler had an iPad too ;-)

[XFilesTheTruthIsOutThere]

03:40 AM on 03/09/2011

Stephen will get it, just like he gets everything he begs for on his show. I love him!

[Rambling Ruminations]

07:26 AM on 03/09/2011

Me too me too! Who wouldn´t want to give him things he wants??

Jobs should do a personal delivery.How cool would that be??!!

[rossor]

09:27 AM on 03/09/2011

Almost everything ... NASA didn't name the space station module after him, despite the public uprising on his behalf. He did get a treadmill named after him, though. I guess that's something.

[gfs5541]

03:06 AM on 03/09/2011

Colbert GOTS TA HAVE IT!!!

[MRb1000]

01:04 AM on 03/09/2011

Every company want to be Apple. Why because they produce great products. They create their own products. Tell me the last company create their own product. Everybody is looking for the Apple killer. It is not going to happen unless you create your own product and make it better.

[Richard Horvath]

07:41 AM on 03/09/2011

catz haz fud cause hungree

[azatrox]

11:49 PM on 03/08/2011

Wondering if ipads could be any more overhyped. I have 3 friends who bought ipads and they stopped carrying them arouund after a week. They got sick of having to hold them up to watch anything. Why would one ever get an ipad over a laptop? Not getting it.

[edgeman au]

03:13 AM on 03/09/2011

the hype hurricane that surrounds Apple products is designed to cover them really being niche products that can be filled by other cheaper but functionally identical products.

its a triumph of effective marketing combined with half decent products and consumerist 1-upmanship, hence all the hollow legions hanging around outside on product launch.

[rossor]

09:31 AM on 03/09/2011

Excuse me while I laugh at this canard. Applehaters have been claiming "it's all marketing" for years. Go on with this silly self-delusion. Buy yourself a Zune and a Xoom and be content with viruses and mediocrity.

[Channa]

08:58 AM on 03/10/2011

It's really not for everyone. I do see the advantages over a laptop for some people though. Smaller, lighter is one thing. And cheaper. Instant on and better battery life. I do content creation on my desktop so I don't need a laptop for that.

[jenna2929]

10:30 PM on 03/08/2011

kinda like the comedian just recently that asked for a million dollars from a millionaire and actually got it.
colbert will get an ipad

[BARRY08]

02:11 AM on 03/09/2011

of course, I am sure he has been paid to do this and he already has one or it is on its way to him !!! it is what they do ! can u blame them ! this is the best way to advertise - plus we all feel the same as Colbert so we can identify with this - good marketing

[DMSmith]

04:16 AM on 03/09/2011

If they have a sense of humor, they'll send him a Panini Press! LOL

[rossor]

09:32 AM on 03/09/2011

that would be the "iPress."

[Channa]

08:27 AM on 03/10/2011

seriously funny!

[Bonford]

09:49 PM on 03/08/2011

I tuned into Colbert the other night and instead saw an infomercial for Ben & Jerry's ice cream co-hosted by Jimmy Fallon.

I like Stephen's wit on the political stuff but blatant product placements like these are making his show unwatchable.

[CamBrown99]

10:13 PM on 03/08/2011

I completely disagree! His various Doritos endorsements are particularly hilarious. And besides, I believe his portion of the Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor goes to charity.

[Ampoliros]

02:26 PM on 03/09/2011

That and its damn good ice cream!

[hexpoll]

11:13 PM on 03/08/2011

It wasn't that great a placement either. "So it can not run flash 9 times faster" is a pretty sharp dig :)

[iotagamma]

03:14 PM on 03/08/2011

Come on Apple, give him one. If he doesn't have the newest and best, he won't be able to satirically praise Republicans.. I support Colbert's desire of an iPad2.

[OneFish]

01:09 AM on 03/09/2011

seen it, like it.