Donald Trump offered America some insight yesterday into how he would conduct foreign policy in the unlikely event that he becomes president of these United States: he would "screw" our enemies by
locking them into lease agreements at the Trump SoHo condo-hotel leasing them land and then denying them the right to use that land, while keeping the money. It's a game-changing geopolitical strategy!
"I think I probably have more experience of anybody -- whether I sell them real estate for tremendous amounts of money. I mean, I've dealt with everybody," the billionaire real-estate mogul told Fox News Monday morning, touting his supposed foreign policy credentials. "And by the way, I can tell you something else. I dealt with Gaddafi. I rented him a piece of land. He paid me more for one night than the land was worth for two years, and then I didn't let him use the land."
"That's what we should be doing. I don't want to use the word 'screwed', but I screwed him," Trump continued. "That's what we should be doing."
Yes, indeed, this is what we should be doing: bankrupting rich international despots through the minor financial inconveniences of contract abrogation. String enough of them together and who knows how quickly we'll cow China and/or Iran. Knowing how badly he got jacked by Trump, it's hard to imagine how Muammar Gaddafi summoned the wherewithal to go on with his life of acting crazy and murdering people.
In a follow-up interview with CNN today, Trump expounded on his shrewd international wheeling and dealing:
"I leased him a piece of land for his tent. He paid me more than I'd get in a whole year. And then, eh, he wasn't able to use the piece of land. So people would say did I take advantage, did I-so I got, in one night, more money than I would've gotten all year for this piece of land up in Westchester and then, didn't let him use it. That's called being intelligent."
But Trump asserts he didn't keep the money he received from the deal, saying, "And in fact, when I did it I said 'I'm gonna take Gadhafi's money, I'm not going to make it easy on him, and I'm going to give the money to charity.'
"And that's exactly what I did."
Given enough time and opportunity, it's easy to see how Trump might solve our entitlement problem in this manner. We'd just have to keep our secret plan to screw over global tyrants under wraps by not, say, going on teevee and saying things like, "I screwed him ... that's what we should be doing."
Elsewhere, Trump discussed how he would deal with Libya in terms of military strategy:
Trump explained how his strategy differs from the way President Obama is handling the leader of Libya saying "The first thing I'd do with Gadhafi is I'd go to the Arab league and I'd say, 'we'll do things...we'll do plenty of things but you're going to pay us for it.
We're not going to send our missiles out at a million and a half dollars per missile, we're not going to spend $500 million dollars on getting rid of Gadhafi and then you guys go home to your 747s,'" he continued.
Of course, it was the Arab League's support for a military intervention in Libya that paved the way for the United States to jump in and start spending money enforcing a "no-fly zone" in the first place. Now, the Arab League is "calling backsies," saying that Operation Odyssey Dawn goes further than they intended the intervention to go. This basically suggests that Trump is something of an amateur when it comes to applying this "let's screw them" brand of foreign policy.
Still, good luck invoicing the Arab League for those cruise missiles!
SUBSCRIBE AND FOLLOW
Get top stories and blog posts emailed to me each day. Newsletters may offer personalized content or advertisements.Learn more