CNN: Atheists Die First In Survival Situations (VIDEO)

Proving that they will not be outdone by Fox News in the pretty, blonde and vapid talking head department, CNN produced Dr. Wendy Walsh, "journalist, mother, doctor of psychology and popular culture junkie" in a segment about the worldwide decline in religious affiliation.

During the discussion, Walsh dropped this bomb shell:

Most studies on survivors show that the Atheists die first because if you don't believe in something supernatural, how can you imagine that you yourself have supernatural abilities enough to survive?

And she should know about these things. After all, she wrote both The Boyfriend Test and The Girlfriend Test. So it just makes good sense to bring her in on a discussion of life, death and the existence or lack thereof of a divine creator. In fact, we humbly suggest Walsh get to work on The God Test immediately.

As one blogger pointed out, the best response to Walsh so far comes from YouTube commentor, jacobryanball10:

very true, just the other day I was being chased by a bear. Then I realized I should stop and pray. I did just that, then Jesus came down, killed the bear and said "Hey see you again on May 21, or December 12th, or some other time, I haven't quite decided yet." I said "Sweet, I'll bring the water, you make the wine" Then he rode a flying donkey into heaven while waving the American flag chanting "USA USA USA!" I'd like to see THAT happen to an atheist.

WATCH:

This seems like a great time for a poll. If you're an Atheist, take the first one, if you aren't, take the second one. Let us know your thoughts in the comments.


Poll for Atheists

Quick Poll

In case of emergency:

Pfft...whatever.

Theorize a logical reason for the occurrence of said tragedy. Die knowing you get it.

Lament lack of super powers while watching fundamentalist Christians fly to safety.

Cower, panic and pray...better late than never, right? RIGHT?

Share your vote on Facebook so your friends can take this poll

Poll For People Of Any Religious Persuasion

Quick Poll

In case of emergency:

Pfft...whatever, the god of my choice has my back.

Wonder why the god of your choice has let this happen to you. Die a little ticked off.

Suddenly remember you have super powers and destroy whatever is endangering you with your laser eyes. Praise god of your choice.

Survive disaster, but then wage war against other survivors who have a different god. Die wondering if you should have used your super speed to run away instead.

Share your vote on Facebook so your friends can take this poll

Comments

[annedyth]

09:28 PM on 05/20/2011

I've found that it is determination, the desire to survive that is one very important factor in any situation. The knowledge on what to do, self control, the willingness to feel fear, but not let it freeze you. All those have an impact.

[hereticalamerican]

12:30 PM on 05/12/2011

The sooner we are free of religion (enforced idiocy and intolerance) the better. Time to clean up the stupid around this planet!

[f0rTyLeGz]

08:20 PM on 05/10/2011

The tragedy is that she believes this nonsense.

[religionfree]

09:31 PM on 04/29/2011

Glad to see that Christianity is slowly dying out in the modern world.

[jgcarroll]

04:45 PM on 04/17/2011

What "supernatural abilities"? I've heard of faith described as a belief in the supernatural, but I've never heard of religious faith bestowing "supernatural abilities" on someone. What kind of ability? Can she fly? Can she read minds? Can she read my mind right now?

[religionfree]

09:31 PM on 04/29/2011

Christians believe Jesus had "supernatural" abilities.

[logicanada]

03:25 AM on 04/17/2011

There are 168 hours in a week. Church services run during 10 of those hours - on a Sunday.
That's when many earthquakes happen. Churches collapse on the 'holy'.

[logicanada]

03:22 AM on 04/17/2011

musta' missed all those "Church Collapses on Parishioners During Earthquake" stories you see in the news. And why does a god time earthquakes to happen during church services.

[Jokergirl]

08:06 PM on 04/14/2011

Religion may be going extinct but religious extremism is on the rise. Atheists the first to die in an emergency? I would think they would be the ones running from whatever is chasing them and religious people would be standing still, praying for it to go away. So the atheists actually get away and the religious prayers get engulfed or whatever.

[hairydodger]

01:31 PM on 04/14/2011

I believe carnivores die last.

[Cybrie]

02:14 AM on 04/14/2011

I can see how a person's faith would give them strength to survive in a disaster, but why does one's motivation to survive have to be purely spiritual? Don't people draw strength from their family or pets or other meaningful persons or things?

[jgcarroll]

10:51 PM on 04/21/2011

I'll tell you what, I love my family and all that, but knowing me, if I was caught in the midst of some huge catastrophe I would survive because of sheer stubbornness. Let's hear it for the stubborn and ornery among us.

[ranchero42]

12:59 PM on 04/12/2011

Finding much of the 'faithful' only slightly less delusional than the one portrayed in this amusing fantasy is why we need to keep believing - that this truly belongs right here in 'Comedy.'

[JeffW81]

03:52 PM on 04/05/2011

Sorry, but am I the only person who notices an obvious typo in that pic? Pretty sure "last" has only one "s".

[Eugene Berkovich]

12:25 AM on 04/07/2011

Well that whole shpiel is a typo.

I'd like to see how they collected data for that study. I am pretty sure a dead person could not tell them of his/her affiliation

[New Yorker]

11:37 AM on 04/05/2011

She's probably right, 'cause Tom Cruise knows L.Ron Hubbards Ghost will keep him safe from the Tsunami. Is this woman related to Ann Coulter, maybe a Clone, something along those lines ? If not she's done a great job at identity theft.

[Jon Polm]

10:52 PM on 04/04/2011

Sweet. I'd rather get it over with quick than watch all my friends and family die before me. Maybe that's just me...lol

[altosax]

10:41 PM on 04/04/2011

If a religious person was truly comfortable and secure in his or her religious beliefs, he or she would be indifferent to another person's religious beliefs or lack thereof.

[Chikkipop]

02:04 PM on 04/05/2011

I can't agree with you. If a religious person is truly comfortable & secure in her beliefs it would be only natural for her to desire that others learn what she has learned.

There is no case for being indifferent to the beliefs of others as long as we have to live among them. Assuming you believe what you do because you think it is true as opposed to a form of self-comfort, it is in your interest to get the message out, and it is important that the rest of us give it the respect it deserves.

Everyone should care what everyone believes!

[altosax]

05:59 PM on 04/05/2011

No. It should be only natural for a person to mind one's own business. There is nothing more precious to an individual than freedom of choice. To "spread the word" is an invasion of privacy. It's annoying at best and harassment at worse.

I respect every person's individual religious beliefs or lack thereof, as long as it doesn't interfere with my own freedom.

Organized religion, however, is another story. Religion as an institution, along with the practice of "divide and conquer", is the most effective form of class warfare used by the ruling class against the population.

Have you ever noticed that all religions have the same pitch? Immortality! As long as you toe the line, i.e., service the rich!