Hey everybody, did you hear the news?
The whole Obama Birther conspiracy has been resolved!
But the issue reached a new level of resolution on Good Morning America Wednesday, when George Stephanopoulos brandished Obama's Certificate Of Live Birth (which, it should be noted, isn't enough to satisfy crazy people) at Michele Bachmann, to which the congresswoman replied, "Well, then that should settle it."
The whole interview sounds just like Frost/Nixon -- if the only thing at stake were getting a politician to barely demonstrate the minimum amount of rational thought possible.
TRANSCRIPT, via ABC News:
Stephanopoulos: Last night you were on Fox News suggesting the president should come forward with his birth certificate as well --
Bachmann: Well, what I have said about that is, I was asked a question about that and Republicans are constantly asked to vouch for the authenticity of the birth certificate. The only one who can is the clerk of court in the county where someone is born and that's where people should go. Don't ask Republicans, go ask the clerk of court.
Stephanopoulos: Well, actually one of your supporters in the state of Iowa has put forth a bill that would require presidential candidates to file their birth certificate with their candidacy, do you support that?
Bachmann: Well, Governor Jan Brewer just vetoed that bill in Arizona because she felt that that was a bridge too far, that it wouldn't be up to the authenticators in each state to do that, that that would be a federal issue. There is a federal piece of legislation that hasn't gone anywhere that would also require that candidates put forward their birth certificate. I have no problem giving my birth certificate, it wouldn't bother me at all. I've got one, its authenticated, take it.
[Bachmann was referring to H.R. 1503 which would have required presidential campaign committees to file "a copy of the candidate's birth certificate." Iowa Senate bill 368, which was introduced by Bachmann supporter Kent Sorenson, contained similar language, saying a candidate should file "a copy of the candidate's birth certificate certified by the appropriate official in the candidate's state of birth."]
Stephanopoulos: Well, but so does the president. According to the bill 'a candidate for president or vice president shall attach to and file with the affidavit a copy of the candidate's birth certificate certified by the appropriate official in the candidate's state of birth.'
Bachmann: That's right.
Stephanopoulos: Well I have the president's certificate right here. It's certified, it's got a certification number. It's got the registrar of the state signed. It's got a seal on it. And it says 'this copy serves as prima facie evidence of the fact of birth in any court proceeding.'
Bachmann: Well, then that should settle it.
Stephanopoulos: So it's over?
Bachmann: That's what should settle it. I take the president at his word and I think- again I would have no problem and apparently the president wouldn't either. Introduce that, we're done. Move on.
Stephanopoulos: Well this has been introduced. So this story is over?
Bachmann: Well as long as someone introduces it I guess it's over.
Stephanopoulos: It's right there.
Bachmann: Yeah, there you go. Because that is not the main issue facing the United States right now.
The end result of this exchange will be
the restoration of a level of reason to the political discourse that birthers will probably become angry at Michele Bachmann now. Of course, just a few days ago Donald Trump, confronted by Stephanopoulos on the same subject, told the ABC host that he had been "co-opted" by the Obama White House's "minions." So by the transitive theory of minion-based co-opting, Michele Bachmann has now been co-opted by the White House through Stephanopoulos.
Naturally, those who insist the "certificate of live birth" is not sufficient evidence of the simple fact that Obama was born in Hawaii will besiege everyone involved in today's interview with emails.
Last week we learned that similar restrictions in place prevent third parties from obtaining Mitt Romney's certificate of live birth, and the former governor's campaign team won't accommodate requests for its release, either. The key difference, of course? Nobody wants to make a disingenuous claim against Romney's citizenship status.