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Autism In The Church: Growing Acceptance For Developmentally Disabled At Religious Services

Autism In Church

First Posted: 04/30/11 09:30 AM ET Updated: 06/30/11 06:12 AM ET

By Kelly Heyboer
Religion News Service

CALDWELL, N.J. (RNS) Halfway through a Mass in Caldwell College's campus chapel, Chase Keith rose to his feet for one of the most challenging parts of a challenging day.

It required the boy from Basking Ridge, N.J., to offer his hand to strangers in the traditional sign of peace. With his mother whispering in his ear and guiding his arm, the 7-year-old stuck out his small hand toward a fellow parishioner.

"How you? Peace," Chase said.

Afterward, his mother slipped him a Goldfish cracker as a reward for his correct behavior. Chase had gone through months of intensive training with a specialist to get to this point -- where he could sit through a Catholic Mass with his family.

Chase, who has autism, is among a growing number of children with developmental disabilities who are being welcomed at religious services.

Autism is particularly acute in New Jersey, which has the nation's highest rate of autism, affecting about one in every 94 children, compared to the national rate of about one in every 150 children.

The symptoms of the disorder differ from person to person, but most children with autism have social, behavioral and communication problems. Some may shout or laugh at inappropriate times or have trouble keeping still. Others have an aversion to loud noises or crowds.

That makes attending a Catholic Mass -- with its big crowds, loud music and periods of silence -- daunting for many families dealing with autism. Some report receiving disapproving looks from fellow churchgoers and scoldings from ushers. Others say their children have been denied Communion by disapproving priests or been told by parishioners that they "don't belong" at Mass.

In Minnesota, one church made headlines in 2008 when it got a court order to ban a 13-year-old with autism from Mass because of his loud outbursts.

"The church has a wonderful theology and heart. ... We don't always live it out well," said Anne Masters, the director of pastoral ministry with persons with disabilities for the Archdiocese of Newark.

Masters oversees a program designed to welcome Catholics with disabilities. Her "Attends Mass" program includes training for religious educators and support groups for parents. A handful of churches offer special monthly Inclusive Family Masses, where children with autism and other disabilities are permitted to be loud or disruptive without fear
of being asked to leave.

"There is some more awareness being developed in the parishes," Masters said. "They're asking for it."

Other religions have also made efforts to be more inclusive of children with developmental disabilities, though the programs are usually local and not well-known, advocates say. Some synagogues have programs to help children with autism make their bar or bat mitzvah.

Mary Beth Walsh, a Caldwell College adjunct professor and parent of an autistic teenager, is on a seven-member task force formed by the National Catholic Partnership on Disability to study how churches across the nation deal with autism.

"Autism can be a very isolating diagnosis," said Walsh, of Maplewood, N.J. "Sometimes the only place you can go as a family is church."

Walsh began taking her son, Ben Hack, to church when he was 5 years old. In the early days, Walsh said she wondered if it was worth the trouble. "How's he ever going to have a personal relationship with someone he can't see?" Walsh said, referring to God.

In the end, Walsh decided it was enough for her son to have a relationship with people gathering in Christ's name. Ben now considers church one of his favorite places and plans on being confirmed, Walsh said.

At a recent Mass, Ben helped bring the bread and wine up to the altar. He smiled and laughed through the service, paying close attention to the priest. When the bishop donned his tall miter at the end of the service, Ben put his program on his head, copying the gesture.

About a dozen children across the state have gone through a special free training program where they work with autism specialists, called "Mass mentors" and "Mass buddies," who slowly teach them how to attend Mass. The one-on-one training starts by taking children to the last five minutes of a service.

"All they were required to do was sit quietly," said Jessica Rothschild, a Caldwell College graduate student who served as a Mass mentor for four children.

The children go to Mass a little earlier each day or each week for months, in a practice known as "backward chaining." They are given food or other rewards for correct behavior. Eventually, most are able to attend the entire service, said Rothschild, who wrote her doctoral dissertation on the method.

Caldwell College's new Center for Autism and Applied Behavior Analysis is preparing undergraduate and graduate students to use a campus chapel to train children with autism to go to religious services, said Sharon Reeve, the center's executive director.

"I can turn that chapel into a synagogue, a mosque, whatever they need," Reeve said. "The procedure is applicable to any denomination."

Kelly Heyboer writes for The Star-Ledger in Newark, N.J.

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By Kelly Heyboer Religion News Service CALDWELL, N.J. (RNS) Halfway through a Mass in Caldwell College's campus chapel, Chase Keith rose to his feet for one of the most challenging parts of a challen...
By Kelly Heyboer Religion News Service CALDWELL, N.J. (RNS) Halfway through a Mass in Caldwell College's campus chapel, Chase Keith rose to his feet for one of the most challenging parts of a challen...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jake Thomas
elastic
12:45 PM on 05/10/2011
I wonder how they deal with this in Heaven?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RAmen69
Someone is WRONG on the internet!
03:01 PM on 05/06/2011
"Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful".

Don't blame me if you are in the first group.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Xenia Grant
denver, co
11:12 PM on 05/06/2011
Did Marx, Lenin or Nietzsche say that?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
RAmen69
Someone is WRONG on the internet!
11:48 AM on 05/09/2011
Seneca the younger.
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Theresa Dyer
My micro-bio is empty.
06:42 PM on 05/04/2011
Clearly, we cannot fault disabled children for causing disturbances at church, any more than we can fault babies for crying. (They are babies. That is what they do.) And I'm all for making sure that all children feel included and nurtured by their worship community, right from birth.

However, I am less tolerant of parents who think that it's appropriate to bring their kids everywhere, all the time, without conditions. This includes church.

Aren't parents generally expected to take responsibility for their children's behavior? How is it that parents of crying babies or tantrum-ing toddlers are expected to remove the child from the situation when they are out of control, but not the parents of autistic children who are causing a disturbance? The effect on other parishioners is the same.

When I went to church, there was a "crying room" where parents could take their children so they could both listen to the service and avoid disrupting it. There were comfy couches and parents could sit with their kids and practice the art of sitting quietly without the rest of the congregation having to hear it. It's not segregation, it's being considerate of others.

And with that, I'll slip into my flameproof suit and sit back...
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
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03:07 PM on 05/04/2011
I had to red this twice:

"That makes attending a Catholic Mass -- with its big crowds, loud music and periods of silence -- daunting for many families dealing with autism. Some report receiving disapproving looks from fellow churchgoers and scoldings from ushers. Others say their children have been denied Communion by disapproving priests or been told by parishioners that they "don't belong" at Mass."

Unbelievable.
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Feurio
Religion poisons everything
03:06 AM on 05/03/2011
Grows? Shouldn't it be like 100%?

Aren't autistic kids also gods creations?
08:07 PM on 05/02/2011
Catholic churches are well known for thier many misdeeds in history. Accepting disabled to a belief of fear guilt and shame doesnt show acceptance, it shows what tyrants christians really are. But the faithful dont see it that way, because they have their Jesus glasses on. How sad.
07:58 PM on 05/02/2011
This article still upsets me. Im just glad Im dying of cancer. This planet has sickened me to the point of physical illness. People dont know how to treat each other, than turn around and pretend like they do. I say humans have FAILED no second chances either.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
12:22 AM on 05/03/2011
Seriously Ninetails? That is a tragedy. I am not at all glad for you. I'm sorry to hear that. I genuinely mean that.
10:19 AM on 05/03/2011
Ive been throuh a lot in my life. Got my son taken because my husband's step mother worked for CPS and has a personal grudge against my hubby. Quit my job because I had a conflict of interest with what I was doing and what I believed. Then I almost lost my husband twice he has health problems. So, Im just tired of it all.
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busterggi
I'm a Sally Randian
04:01 PM on 05/02/2011
How generous of the church to accept people who were born pre-damaged through no fault of their own!
10:45 PM on 05/01/2011
I find it ironic. If you understand autism, truly understand it, and if you have familiarity with the lives of the early saints and spritual leaders of all the major religions, you start to get the notion that they may have been on the spectrum as well.

BTW, my two ASD prek's have had much success at Russian Orthodox services when we attend with our friends. Orthodox services are done standing, and they sing, a lot. It works for mine.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheWM
aka The Wrong Monkey
03:23 PM on 05/02/2011
I'm autistic and I don't hear God talking to me the way early Christians did. Hearing God speak sounds schizophrenic to me, not autistic.
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busterggi
I'm a Sally Randian
04:02 PM on 05/02/2011
Yep, I've spent my life as an Aspie and never once heard any imaginary voices though I know a few schizphrenics who do regularly.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
12:28 AM on 05/03/2011
My nephew is autistic and he loves Greek Orthodox icons. He was looking at an icon of the Annunciation and looks at the angel Gabriel and spontaneously said: That is the power of God! He was very excited. He loved the icon. Do you know what "Gabriel" means in English? "the Power of God." Now how did my nephew understand that just by looking at the icon?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
12:25 AM on 05/03/2011
My friend's son who has asperger's loves the Greek Orthodox liturgies because they are totally predictable and highly ritualized. The only thing he can't tolerate is if the church gets too crowded and he feels he doesn't have enough personal space.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
TheWM
aka The Wrong Monkey
09:25 AM on 05/03/2011
I have a lot of trouble with crowded places, too. It was worse before I was diagnosed because I didn't know how to explain to anyone else the problems I was having in places like waiting rooms or conference rooms. Most people wouldn't be annoyed by crowded situations which are very difficult for me. I never use elevators, I always take the stairs. Big-city subways can be tough to handle.

It's not just physical space. If I'm in a waiting room, sometimes other people's conversations can be painful for me. Even if they're speaking in soft voices which are completely socially-acceptable, it can sometimes be painful for me, like they're screaming into my ears.

And then when I find someone who doesn't annoy me in those ways, because it's unusual for me and such a contrast to the way most people affect me, sometimes I've tried too hard too fast to be good friends with them, and suffocated them or creeped them out.

I know that everybody has difficult things to deal with. These are just some of my issues which are autism-related.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Xenia Grant
denver, co
09:53 PM on 05/05/2011
Some times I feel that way myself. And I sometimes don't like it when babies cry. I like the Liturgies because they are predictable.

Christos Anesti!
09:11 PM on 05/01/2011
Human beings that have -Empathy- for the disabled will have a special place in heaven???
12:29 PM on 05/01/2011
My son has autism,
My knee jerk and initial reaction was similar to many of the comments posted.
“Denied Access.” How dare they.You could not defame God any worse with such behavior.
However, if in fact they are turning a new leaf, why not support and praise these new behaviors.
I was a member of a synagogue where the Rabi proved himself to be a dishonest hypocrite who should have been defrocked.His ungodly behavior was “overlooked” by the community. This trauma turned me away from Judaism which I loved dearly.
The teachings of kindness and compassion and especially the teachings of not standing by, while people are being victimized, by a bully or tyrant defined my upbringing in my parent’s modest family home.
I finally realized, just because there are isolated incidents of “bad apples” within every religion, condemning all of it is equally unfair.
Reading about the “holy” educators in this article fills my sails with tremendous wind.
These people who are creating ways of tolerance and education, whether or not they are “followers” of any religion are truly the embodiment of what every religion aspires to be.
I want to acknowledge,thank and encourage them.
Zidlow and Elijah Marx
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cindbird
01:09 AM on 05/01/2011
Maybe THIS church accepts autistic kids, but most don't. I have an autistic son. When he was younger, we tried going to a church. It was made clear that they didn't want him there. It was a United Methodist Church. They couldn't find a place in the nursery or there wasn't anyone to watch him or whatever. They refused my son but had NO problem asking for our money. The final straw was when I got sick and my husband called the church for help. All he asked was that a few of the "ladies" come stay with me for an hour so he could get some errands run. I had pneumonia. My husband had a sick wife, a 4 yr old son and a 1 yr old to take care of. My mother-in-law had just had a stroke. And the wonderful "ladies" said NO. They couldn't come and sit for an hour so he could get some groceries. For me, it was the last straw. When I met my husband I was practicing Buddhism. But I had agreed to try going to church. The preacher always talked about how people should help their neighbor, but when push came to shove, they failed to live up to it. I went back to Buddhism, where my son has been accepted and even welcomed by the Sangha. They accept him for who he is, no matter the autism. It's too bad a Christian church couldn't do the same.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
05:52 PM on 05/01/2011
Our church accepts autistic kids and autistic adults. We have people with a number of disabilities, just like you would find in any family. One high functioning autistic young adult serves as aid in one of the Church school class rooms. We have a number of autistic children and they all attend church and Church school to the best of their abilities. We have a child with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD)-- her tibia was broken by her birth mother at 8 months, she scaled her hands, abandoned her to her birth father, who abandoned the girl at age 3 years. A woman from our church adopted her. Needless to say, she has some insurmountable emotional problems, but we all try to help and to give her the love that was cruelly withheld from her the first years of her life. In general, we help each other when people are sick or having problems. The teenage son of one woman who goes to church was just diagnosed with schizophrenia. We try to help her with this very difficult situation. In general, everyone tries to do the best they can, just like in a regular family. I can't imagine anyone so heartless as you describe in your former church. I am sorry you had to go through the hell you described.
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JohnFromCensornati
The End is near
03:02 PM on 05/02/2011
FoxReincarnated lives again as foxoftheninetails.
08:02 PM on 05/02/2011
Dont listen to syntax, she just wants converts in her church. Im glad you left christianity behind, I grew up christian and I left it on a lot of bitter notes. Long story short, I can never forgive my family for the mental and emotional abuse theyve caused me, and neither do I want anyone else to go through it as well.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
syntax facit saltum
We do not live in a 2 story universe
12:19 AM on 05/03/2011
How kind of you reincarnated Fox to offer this woman comfort and support. Everyone deserves to belong and be loved. I hope this woman finds that for her child and for herself. She deserves it as do you and everyone else.
been2there
Facts have a liberal bias.
01:02 AM on 05/01/2011
Autism, and all of the invisible disabilities, are their own special hell. That churches would fail to work with these victims is simply--un-Godly!
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wolfiegirl
Princess Wolfie
11:38 PM on 04/30/2011
Churches are now STARTING to welcome individuals with disabilities?????

You mean Christians are starting to follow Christ? Who knew.....
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ydnas639
I want my country forward
12:23 AM on 05/01/2011
I knew. If you define Christian as a person who follows all of the teachings of Christ, then I have personally never met one, and I have only heard tell of a very few.
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wolfiegirl
Princess Wolfie
12:31 AM on 05/01/2011
The problem with Christianity is this (if you care to believe any of it at all, but I'm digressing):
Christians, with the exception of a few branches (Mormons, I think) think of Christ as a deity, someone to worship, while we are all imperfect and human - giving a lot of people an excuse. I can't imagine a god more repugnant than one who invites worship rather than example. If you are going to believe, Christ was a human who, if anything, achieved the status of a deity. He is not there to worship, he is there to emulate.
VA Jill
Retired RN, Army mom. Bring the troops home!
07:33 PM on 04/30/2011
The Roman Catholic Church is seriously behind in a lot of ways and in a lot of places. However, I do remember a program in the 60s in Chicago that had volunteers going to the homes of special needs children to prepare them for First Communion one-on-one. However, I think at least some of the evangelical churches are light years ahead of the RCC in caring for special needs kids. I recall one in a very rural community which had a special service weekly for disabled children and adults. They called it "The Church of Special Love" and it was always very well attended.