iPhone app iPad app Android phone app Android tablet app More

Erasing Cyberbullying, One Keystroke At A Time

First Posted: 05/06/11 09:04 PM ET Updated: 07/06/11 06:12 AM ET

Bullying
Bullying has been emboldened by the anonymity of the Internet, so students at The Mary Louis Academy took things into their own hands by organizing the first ever Delete Day on Friday.

NEW YORK -- In a sweltering classroom in The Mary Louis Academy of Jamaica Estates, Queens, freshman Regina Maghirang, 15, sat down at a computer, logged onto Facebook and hit delete.

More than once.

Her friends did it, too. More than 200 of them cycled in and out of the room during their free periods on Friday for Delete Day, a student-led initiative at Mary Louis designed to target cyberbullying.

The students were sprucing up their images, trying to live up to the motto of their Catholic school’s annual theme: “Women of dignity, making a difference, through faith, service and inclusive love.”

For Maghirang, Delete Day provided a comfortable way of cleaning up her online footprint and moving beyond her past. In elementary school, she was a victim of cyberbullying.

Hers is a tale that might resonate with anyone who attended an American elementary school, differing only in that the emboldening effects of the Internet amplified her pain.

Maghirang had a crush on a boy. She told this to her friend, who promised not to date him. Her friend broke her promise. Maghirang got mad, and let their mutual friends know it.

They sided with the friend, Maghirang said, because “she was a popular social butterfly.” The backlash hurt: they cursed her on AIM. They created a Facebook group about her. Maghirang was passionate about singing, so after belting the lead in a mass, they told her to get off the stage. They told her she was fake. Their targeting was relentless.

“I just wanted to run away from it all,” Maghirang said.

In the age of cyber-warfare and privacy concerns, parents raising children often worry about exposure on the Internet. The outlets for oversharing -- and, in some cases, self-sabotaging -- are countless: Google, Facebook, AIM, mass texting, MySpace, FormSpring, Xanga and LiveJournal, to name a few.

And the more extreme consequences of their use have been widely documented. In March, The New York Times published an article chronicling the life-changing aftermath of a sexting episode in Washington state, where a nude photo an eighth grader texted to her boyfriend made its way onto the cellphone screens of hundreds of students. A year earlier, police were investigating the role that the question-and-answer site Formspring played in a 17-year-old Long Islander’s suicide.

Growing awareness of these issues, and of escalating negativity in online forums, led Mary Louis Academy’s English Teacher and Service Homeroom Program Coordinator Allyson Gutierrez to bring in Alison Trachtman Hill -- founder and managing partner of Critical Issues for Girls -- for a conference on cyberbullying in October.

“It was so hard to get them to stop,” Gutierrez said. “Any of the typical high school drama was intensified by the anonymity of the Internet. It became clear to us that the kids felt strongly about doing something about it.”

Discussions after the conference, which included a component about turning ideas into actions, turned into planning sessions for Gutierrez’s service homeroom. After much discussion, the idea for the first-ever Delete Day bubbled up.

“We encouraged them to go through their friends, comments, groups and pictures on Facebook, and to delete their Formsprings,” Gutierrez said. “We want them to delete anything that doesn’t reflect their true image.” She said she was surprised to see complete Facebook account deletions as well.

When the day finally came after much planning, it was clear the students were in charge. They created pins and baked cookies to help the cause. More than 200 students cycled in and out, mostly deleting things, with some lingering to chat with each other on Facebook. They picked up pins with the emoticon inspired logo “:D” with a D for Delete and pledges, saying: “I, [name], am a woman of dignity at The Mary Louis Academy, and I pledge to become a cyber-citizen.”

Deletions focused on clearing one’s image for the sake of the Internet-savvy prospective employer of college admissions officer, as well as pulling anything that may have been offensive or hurtful to others.

“What should I delete?” asked a student in a pleated skirt, black tights, boots and a polo shirt emblazoned with the school logo.

“Delete friends! Groups! Photos!” advised Gabby Mostaras, a 17-year-old senior who helped organize the event.

On the way out, students also signed a letter taped to the wall that urged City Councilmember Julissa Ferreras to expand New York’s anti-bullying law to include specific sanctions on cyberbullying.

Trachtman Hill said she was encouraged by the high turnout. “I have a feeling this will resonate around the country," she said.

The youth-led aspect of the initiative is key to its success, said Nancy Willard, director of the Center for Safe and Responsible Internet Use. “The big challenge we’re facing in the area of Internet safety is that most of the initiatives were created with law-enforcement funding,” she said. Their oft-simple rules fall flat to teenage ears, she continued, adding that messages driven by kids are most effective.

Jason Rzepka, vice president of public affairs for MTV, also lauded the initiative, covering it on mtv.com’s "act" page. “It’s empowering young people to take ownership of the issue and to take control of it,” he said. MTV’s A Thin Line campaign targets digital drama. “Kids control this. This is not drilling wells in Malawi,” he said. “Cyber-abuse is the sum of the decisions young people make every day.”

But Greg Hall, a professor of psychology at Bentley University who teaches a class on cyber-psychology, was skeptical. “It may be effective for the individual students who are doing the deleting, but I don’t think it’s going to affect those individuals who are conducting the bullying,” he said.

Trachtman Hill noted that one student told her she used to be the bully. “Now I’m one of the people organizing this,” Trachtman Hill recalled her saying.

Junior Heather Calix said she took the time out of her free period to delete her Formspring, MySpace and party photos because of her awareness of news coverage of the consequences of cyberbullying. And it hurt one of her friends: “She wanted to drop out of school,” Calix said. “People targeted her on AIM. They called her fat. She didn’t want to go to school, and it hurt me to see her like that.”

The students ran the event -- encouraging deletions, conducting a survey, tallying the results, giving out pledges and, of course, policing for recreational Facebook use. Among them was Lauren Alvarez, an 18-year-old senior, who worries about what her 16-year-old sister does online.

“People were posting pictures that were inappropriate,” she said. “They put party pictures up -- they were pretending to drink and smoke, they showed high, short skirts. I wasn’t brought up that way.” She herself deleted some groups that she “Liked” on her Facebook page -- including, “I’m a woman of dignity … LOL jk, I go to Mary Louis” -- realizing that what was funny to her might be offensive to others.

Freshman Emma Soriano said that the event made her think twice about posting revealing photos. “I had a picture of myself in my underwear. My face isn’t showing, but I’m deleting it,” she said, before clicking “Delete This Photo” and obliterating the existence of a much-commented on picture taken in April. “It’s not showing dignity.” She also untagged posts that included some friends but excluded others in declarations of affection. “They may feel left out, and that can hurt too,” she said.

Another freshman, Natalie Artiles, deleted photos with “kissy faces.” She said she might not have done it on her own. “Seeing everyone here gives me inspiration,” she said. “It’s fun right now. It’s funducation.”

Maghirang, the student targeted in elementary school, also took solace in her peers. “Deleting old messages really makes it feel like a new start,” she said. She’s now in a new school with new friends -- who think deleting offensive material off the Internet is cool.

FOLLOW HUFFPOST EDUCATION

NEW YORK -- In a sweltering classroom in The Mary Louis Academy of Jamaica Estates, Queens, freshman Regina Maghirang, 15, sat down at a computer, logged onto Facebook and hit delete. More than on...
NEW YORK -- In a sweltering classroom in The Mary Louis Academy of Jamaica Estates, Queens, freshman Regina Maghirang, 15, sat down at a computer, logged onto Facebook and hit delete. More than on...
 
 
  • Comments
  • 37
  • Pending Comments
  • 0
  • View FAQ
Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page: 1 2  Next ›  Last »  (2 total)
10:32 PM on 06/12/2011
I will have to start a Delete Day on my campus even though Facebook is banned. Hopefully we will open the lines of communication as they decide what items should be deleted.
03:42 AM on 05/08/2011
What the technology facilitates is not neccessarily what it causes, and the use or misuse of Facebook is like any other technology, from Gutenberg to Zuckerberg. There are other ways to stand up to bullies, and deleting a Facebook account is a concession. Shouldn't we strive to empower thicker skin, dealing more directly with bullies, and being self-reliant?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
01:13 AM on 05/09/2011
Actually, if the bullying is really bad and includes threatening language, it should be reported to police and the parents of the offenders. Telling the victim of abuse to grow a thicker skin is not enough.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Isenki
Public campaign funding
01:54 AM on 05/08/2011
Yeah, educating kids about Internet etiquette is the key here. And rule number one is don't post overly emotional, personal stuff. On the internet, it makes you look weak and trollable, which can carry over into real life.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
09:50 PM on 05/07/2011
If and want two Scriptures to use in trying to convince a bully that they should not be doing so, Leviticus 19:14, which condemns even bullying the deaf who cannot hear you doing it is a good one and 1 Corinthians 6:9,10 which says no revilers (bullies) can enter God's Kingdom is another. Keep up the Good Work.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
NYCSingleMom
06:52 PM on 05/07/2011
They really need to start educating kids in 4th -5th grade about cyber bullying and what is appropriate information/pictures to put on FB or any other Social network.

I am teaching my second grader now about cyberbullying, its only going to get worse.

http://www.nycsinglemom.com
11:57 AM on 05/07/2011
This is a great example of what happens when kids "get it" and appreciate that this is no way to treat another person. They start with themselves. I worry though, when people focus ONLY on the "method" of bullying and address the vehicle without appreciating that there is more to stopping bullying than having a single day dedicated to a particular initiative.

The fact is, the roots of cyberbullying are the same as the cause of other bullying -- students who lack the social skills and character development (empathy, respect, consideration, compassion) that keeps them from bullying to begin with.

For more on how to stop not just cyberbullying but all bullying, I encourage you to visit http://socialsmarts.wordpress.com/2010/07/21/cyberbullying-different-solutions-for-a-different-problem/

Imagine if we could get students all across the country to become part of the "solution.' Then, bullying will truly end.

- Corinne Gregory
www.corinnegregory.com
www.socialsmarts.com
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
JeanRR
10:02 AM on 05/07/2011
I was bullied in junior high school--before the cyber age. It was terrible and i suffered greatly but my experience was mild compared with what can be done to a child with the backing of the internet. It is bad to know that others are whispering mean things about you and to suspect that they make jokes about you. It is so much worse for it to be up there on the internet for everyone to see. I understand why some of these victims elect to end it all and it breaks my heart.
photo
ywcachieve
President Barack H. Obama supporter.
09:46 AM on 05/07/2011
Nice Photoshopping of those children in the photo. It is wrong, though.
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
broui
No d#%& cat. No d#%& cradle.
09:23 AM on 05/07/2011
I have a student going through some intense cyber bullying right now. She's been deleting because she doesn't want grandma and dad to see the ugly garbage the five boys are saying about her.

We're changing tactics slightly.

I've advised her to print first.

We in the public school system can't help these kids if they delete before they provide evidence.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
11:55 PM on 05/07/2011
Depending on how ugly it is, it should be provided to the police. They may not do much, but if there are outright threats, especially sexual ones, they should at least call on the boys and tell them they are breaking the law.

If that doesn't work, one option is send print outs or screen shots to the boys' parents.
photo
HUFFPOST COMMUNITY MODERATOR
broui
No d#%& cat. No d#%& cradle.
10:20 PM on 05/08/2011
We have an SRO (Sheriff's Deputy) I've gotten involved. He needs the evidence to move forward or all he can do is threaten.
photo
mtnlife96
No apology
08:23 AM on 05/07/2011
This sounds like a good exercise for children but, the grownups in this country need to examine the adult behavior that goes on every day. The supposed adults are engaged, in the media and political arenas, in non-stop unacceptable talk. I'd like to see the stocks brought back. Perhaps the sight of adults being subjected to being pelted with rotting produce (imported, of course) for engaging in this practice would set a good example of consequences. (For the non-violent among us, an ice-cold dunking booth would do.) Children learn from adults. Shame on all.
06:59 AM on 05/07/2011
28,000,000 people in the US out of over 311,000,000 people are on facebook. That means that 283,000,000 people have a life without being on facebook. What does that mean? It means, cancel facebook, and that part of the problem is solved. The other areas of life can be solved in a similar way, but until that happens the law has to take this in hand, and pass out harsh punishment for bullies.

My problem with this is, what are the bystanders doing? When I was younger, I stopped the bullying when I saw it. I stopped bullying of people that even I did not like. Not going to happen to me, and I will not stand by, and watch someone else be bullied.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
knightie2008
09:02 PM on 05/07/2011
There is nothing wrong with Facebook, if used responsibility. It is a great way to talk to old friends and classmates, relatives who live half a country away. With the high gas prices and the poor economy it is often the only way that some people can still connect with those who are further away than their own hometown.
Bullying has been around longer than the internet, longer than Facebook and just cancelling Facebook isn't going to change that.
You change the problem by stopping those who do it, and if it becomes cyber bullying make it a criminal charge against those who are doing it. Perhaps a little jail time, whether for adults or in juvenile detention, will wake those up who think its cool to bully. You can change the problem by educating, you can change the problem by listening to children and watching for the signs that they are being bullied and letting them know that someone will believe them and help them to stop the bullying.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Isenki
Public campaign funding
02:05 AM on 05/08/2011
Are your numbers from 5 years ago? Over half of Americans have Facebook accounts.
05:43 AM on 05/07/2011
While I'm completely anti-bullying and find this initiative very interesting, I begin to be a bit unconfortable with the insistance on absolute inclusiveness that seems to spread through education, workplace and personal relationships. Of course you have the moral and social obligation not to be rude at anyone and not to bully. But even all the inclusiveness and social-awareness re-education program can't make you like or appreciate everybody.
I've read that in some countries, children couldn't give invitations for their B-day's parties at school anymore, unless they invite all their class, b/c if they don't, that would "exclude" the children they are not friends with and that goes against inclusiveness. Similarly, a co-worker has been recently accused of cyber-bullying b/c he had sent a rather heated e-mail to one of our female collegues who hadn't met her dead-lines.
I don't even know if what I say makes sense, I just mean that total inclusiveness is not only an utopia, but somehow against personal likes and dislikes...
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank day
Obama cares about all of U.S.
09:25 AM on 05/07/2011
sounds like you have few issues
04:47 AM on 05/08/2011
Why? I just mean that I don't think we can force all children to like each other and to be friends, and that the same goes into workplace.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ABACADABRA RABBIT
05:13 AM on 05/07/2011
Publicly execute bullies regardless of age. Problem solved.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank day
Obama cares about all of U.S.
09:25 AM on 05/07/2011
bully! :)
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
ABACADABRA RABBIT
10:20 PM on 05/07/2011
doh!
01:19 AM on 05/07/2011
check
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
BlueZoo
Independent voter, Independent thinker!
11:21 PM on 05/06/2011
Good for these kids! You hear so much about how awful kids are today and then some turn around and do this or go the areas hit by the tornadoes and they help people. It just renews your faith in the future when you read stories like this one! Bravo!