The 2012 Speculatron Weekly Roundup For May 6, 2011

This week was an important week for American democracy, as the GOP met in South Carolina for a grand debate, in which all most some a handful of longshots and holographic screensaver of Tim Pawlenty, competed to win the GOP nomination make an impression with voters win the approval of Frank Luntz's focus group.

It was a wondrous occasion. The four Fox News moderators operated at a breakneck pace that ran in inverse proportion to the debate's importance, and there was a constantly dinging bell that kept us all wondering if we had finally come to "Final Jeopardy" at the appointed time when Watson the Computer was to be wheeled out on stage to take on all comers in the category of "Potent Potables."

The clear winner turned out to be Godfathers' Pizza magnate Herman Cain! He bowled over the Luntz focus group, and honestly, it was easy to see why. Cain's got one of the best speaking voices in politics -- a room-filling baritone that seems to escape from Cain's throat as if it were as easy as breathing. And his feel for clever ripostes compared well against the typical candidate blather.

Sure: most of his "plans" for America were to sit down and come up with "plans" -- something many critics found absurd, but I think it's definitely possible to overstate the extent to which politicians present "plans" at debates. And as far as Cain not having a fully-realized strategy for Afghanistan, I'm a little lenient in this regard, because it's not like the Joint Chiefs and the CIA are giving security briefings to dudes who own pizza delivery companies. (Or are they?)

The rest of the field competed for second place, and mostly lost to Rick Santorum. Ron Paul's full-throated supporters hooted and clapped for their man, but it didn't leave much of an impression on the pundits in the post-debate spin room. But so what? While everyone was talking, Paul's supporters were raising insane amounts of campaign cash for their hero. Gary Johnson mostly came off like a libertarian dude who likes to toke up and philosophize.

And the moderators were really adversarial to Tim Pawlenty. At one point they actually played a video clip to embarrass him, and it led to the weird spectacle of Pawlenty giving a cringing apology for what seemed like forever.

That's basically it! Begun these drone wars have! (Also, President Obama whacked some guy over the weekend? Can't remember the details, but everyone was telling me how important it was.) For all the rest of the vital campaign activity of the last seven days, please enter the Speculatron for the week of May 6, 2011.

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Michele Bachmann

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If everything goes according to Michele Bachmann's divine plans, she will have the only campaign staff personally assembled by God. Take that, Rick Santorum!

We're in the process of planning an office decision; we're putting our team together. Ask that the Lord will give us a special anointing on how to put our team together, who those team people will be, that He would bring those people to us.

No need to provide a cover letter or resume to the Bachmann campaign. Just show up with stigmata and you're all set for the phone banks! Also this week, there was a mini-boomlet of 2012 hopefuls comparing stuff they don't like, to -- you know -- the Holocaust, no big deal. And that was followed by a mini-boomlet of Anti-Defamation League telling them to knock it off. Bachmann was one of the politicians caught up in this, when she referred to...uhm, taxes, in these terms:

"I tell you this story because I think in our day and time, there is no analogy to that horrific action ... But only to say, we are seeing eclipsed in front of our eyes a similar death and a similar taking away. It is this disenfranchisement that I think we have to answer to."

Yes, because investing money in the nation is exactly the same thing as being gassed to death and having your gold fillings extracted from your teeth by the Nazis. No difference! In other Bachmann news, it would seem that Michele Bachmann has only a tenuous grasp on much of the policy discussion in Washington. In this case, for example, she seems to have missed the point of federal student loans.

Elizabeth Warren Heritage Case Stirs American Indian Query

John Edwards Trial: Jury Resumes Deliberations On Former Presidential Candidate's Fate

Michelle Obama Wants To Trade Places With Beyonce

Dick Cheney Raising Money For Mitt Romney's Campaign

Obama Air Force Academy Graduation: President In Colorado For Commencement Address

Sarah Palin: Jeremiah Wright Is Fair Game (VIDEO)

If everything goes according to Michele Bachmann's divine plans, she will have the only campaign staff personally assembled by God. Take that, Rick Santorum!

We're in the process of planning an office decision; we're putting our team together. Ask that the Lord will give us a special anointing on how to put our team together, who those team people will be, that He would bring those people to us.

No need to provide a cover letter or resume to the Bachmann campaign. Just show up with stigmata and you're all set for the phone banks!

Also this week, there was a mini-boomlet of 2012 hopefuls comparing stuff they don't like, to -- you know -- the Holocaust, no big deal. And that was followed by a mini-boomlet of Anti-Defamation League telling them to knock it off. Bachmann was one of the politicians caught up in this, when she referred to...uhm, taxes, in these terms:

"I tell you this story because I think in our day and time, there is no analogy to that horrific action ... But only to say, we are seeing eclipsed in front of our eyes a similar death and a similar taking away. It is this disenfranchisement that I think we have to answer to."

Yes, because investing money in the nation is exactly the same thing as being gassed to death and having your gold fillings extracted from your teeth by the Nazis. No difference!

In other Bachmann news, it would seem that Michele Bachmann has only a tenuous grasp on much of the policy discussion in Washington. In this case, for example, she seems to have missed the point of federal student loans.

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pthompson13 said on 7 Saturday 2011 pm31 12:53 pm: I should point out to everyone that Ron is quite spiritual. But also pragmatic :)

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Comments

[Lyndependent]

11:14 PM on 05/23/2011

Yea, but she's HOT... And that's why the GOP even allows women in their party!

[Curious Black]

09:39 PM on 05/12/2011

And the Winner and new Michael Steele is Herman Cain!
Reps new favorite
NO! Cain is not like Steele, but the repubs will treat them the same.

[JustABriefThought]

10:38 AM on 05/11/2011

"Come and get yer fresh, hot Republican candidate!"

Oooops, we've run out - maybe, later.

[leonel]

07:46 AM on 05/11/2011

Since conservatives have a hopeless future unless they become optimistic and moderate sounding, their best bet is to enjoy their spring training exercises and grooming themselves for the future.

FOX network is their coach and giving them a morose personality. After Murdock is gone, maybe.

[leonel]

07:49 AM on 05/11/2011

Rupert Murdoch has really brought ruin and negativity to the Republicans but they overall can't see it.

[patnamm]

10:33 AM on 05/09/2011

Chris Matthews had it right when he called them "The Replacements."
I personally would have gone for "The Great Pretenders."

[Tom Joad]

09:31 PM on 05/08/2011

...their debates will really fun to watch...rarely do we get to see such an elite bunch of master debaters...

[Rick Shreiner]

09:03 PM on 05/08/2011

Who's she going to blame when her candidacy doesn't get her the nomination for President ?
Because that "Shirley" ain't gonna' happen.
Will she say it's all of a part of God's plan ? ?
Ha, ha, what a waste of time.

[It Must Get Better]

07:47 PM on 05/08/2011

Man, she's been waiting for that sign from god for months, maybe she's been given the answer in his silence, as in NO!

[It Must Get Better]

07:46 PM on 05/08/2011

' Ask that the Lord will give us a special anointing '


Uh right, so all the sick and starving people in the world and you want to jump to the head of the 'anointment' line. So Republican, somehow they are always more worthy.

[Pilsner Panther]

06:33 PM on 05/08/2011

"Whenever I see a bumper sticker that says 'Keep God In America,' I wonder why he's trying to get out." —William Gaddis (1922-1998­)

[troutster]

09:18 PM on 05/08/2011

Good one! Also, I think it's the height of arrogance to think that god gives a rats rear end about any of this. if he/she cares about this where was he/she during the 20th century when 10% of the world's population was killed due to war/ethnic cleansing and genocide.

[Chasaba Constable]

05:34 PM on 05/08/2011

Greed and power only take you so far, It's worth is only as much as it's value, take the value, you end up with nothing. We changed the welfare dollar relationship, our commander and chief has the power to change the us currency too "In Faith We Have". Funny money is all your left with. Don't under estimate "In god we trust" There is no higher power than the lord, and your govern system principles are built upon.

[Darthpanda]

01:16 PM on 05/08/2011

Does "Gott Mit Uns" sound familiar Michele?

[flinthfp]

01:06 PM on 05/08/2011

Who said this **I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator, I am fighting for the work of the Lord..**
No it was NOT Michele Bachmann it was HITLER !!!!
Showing once again how mixing religion with politics can cause conflicts, not only against religion but against government and its people.
http://www.nobeliefs.com/Hitler1.htm

[doctorzap]

12:30 PM on 05/08/2011

'We're in the process of planning an office decision; we're putting our team together. Ask that the Lord will give us a special anointing on how to put our team together, who those team people will be, that He would bring those people to us.'

Isn't this cute. Rep. Spaceshot is so tuned in to the will of God, that she expects he will aid her in micromanaging her run for the Presidency.

How do these people get elected in the first place? Are the rural people in this country that gullible that they fall for these totally detached from reality political klown acts? If so, the educational system here is far worse than we imagined.

[ExpatinCanada]

02:00 PM on 05/08/2011

Why do you think that they want to defund or dismantle the department of Education? They want home schooling and church run schools so that they can brainwash a whole generation.

Bachmann, Angle, DeMint, Huckabee, Stupak, Inhofe, Thune and several others (of the C street gang) are earnestly intent on making America a (C)hristian nation. Like the blues brothers they are on a mission from G_d.

When Bachmann says that she is praying for a special anointing... she is speaking directly to the more extreme elements of the Christian right. It's the equivalent of Republicans talking about tax cuts for billionaires creating jobs... A tenet of their dogma.

Al Qaeda is not the only religious movement intent on bringing America to her knees.

[Rick Shreiner]

09:14 PM on 05/08/2011

Bingo ! !
Undeducated and ignorant are the "weak links" that people like Bachmann exploit ... ..

Ted Haggard, Jimmy Swaggert, Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jim and Tammy Bakker, George ["RentBoy"] Rekker, et al, those frauds and others like them have been pulling it off since our grandparents were young.

Bachmann's ploy is nothing new.

[maatpublish]

11:49 AM on 05/08/2011

Faith in God is all fine and good, and asking for Divine guidance on a decision is alright, if you are into that sort of thing. Too many people, however, mistake their ego-driven 'head voice' for that of God. If someone like Bachman ends up making a wrong decision, do you think God is going to take the hit for it? Not too likely. Even God lets the individual make the final decision.

[MrBiggs]

02:21 PM on 05/08/2011

If something goes wrong she can say "it was Gods doing, not mine"....

[ExpatinCanada]

03:31 PM on 05/08/2011

It goes even deeper than that... fundamentalist preachers all across the country "exhort" their congregations to vote for the likes of Bachmann by saying that they are God's chosen and that true Christians will not only vote for them but financially support them as well.

Remember when "W" said, "either you're for us or against us"... this is the view of the fundamentalist elements of the Christian right. They see it as a fight between good and evil... light and darkness. It's not about politics. It's about establishing the lordship of Jesus. And that "lordship" being specifically expressed through you know who.... Bachmann, Angle, DeMint etc.

Just take a look at all the anti-abortion legislation that is being pushed by the Republicans. It's all part of the plan. Even the Republican congress members who don't truly buy into the religious side of things are pandering to that extreme element.