Are You The Crime Show Killer? (FLOWCHART)

Anyone who's watched 4-hour blocks of "Law & Order," "CSI" or literally any other crime drama on TV knows the killer's identity is never really a mystery. But in case you're still having a hard time cracking the case, Alex Leo breaks it down for you in this handy flowchart listing all the possible scenarios. Sure, these shows are formulaic, but there are nuances! For example, if you're a family member of a cop you're off the hook, but watch out: if you're a cop's former mentor, you probably just murdered someone.

Comments

[Imzadi]

08:17 AM on 05/15/2011

Not bad!

[kintarius]

10:11 AM on 05/13/2011

Yaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!.......... We won't get fooled again! NO! NO! NO!

Sorry... got a little carried away. Caruso already had his glasses on.

[Beth Hill]

09:13 PM on 05/11/2011

funny and true. The writer forgot one though. It's always the meek person. I had Hawaii 5-0 figured in the first 30 seconds a few weeks ago.

[Imzadi]

08:17 AM on 05/15/2011

Same here! I know exactly which episode you're referring to...

[andthatsnotall]

06:12 PM on 05/11/2011

Let's not forget Scooby-Doo and their M.O.s.

[chesscub]

11:30 AM on 05/12/2011

It's Mr. Weefer the Lighthouse Keeper!

[BonsaTree]

03:52 PM on 05/11/2011

Oh man!!!! You just spoiled the ending!

Damn, damn, damn! Now I know how every episode will end 5 minutes before the ending!

Geeze!

[diversion]

03:45 PM on 05/11/2011

Nice pluralization with an apostrophe (detective's). In keeping with US educational standards, shouldn't "you're" be spelled "your'e?" (People use "your'e" so much it doesn't register as a misspelling according to my spellcheck.)

[jokamachi]

10:14 PM on 05/11/2011

I have yet to see "your'e," but there's always time. I'm mostly concerned with "it's" as a possessive form. That one gets me again and again.

[jcarterla]

01:21 PM on 05/11/2011

No one will watch procedurals with me anymore because I always figure it out. Sometimes I can tell as soon as the character is introduced. I'm not even sure how or why they did it, but I just know.

[trweste144]

01:43 PM on 05/11/2011

I can relate. I don't have a sense as honed as yours, but I do have two friends who love Twin Peaks. A few years back, they invited me over for a marathon. Both of them asked me to identify the killer, after we watched two or three. When I did, they were shocked. I just picked the character they focused on the most for no perceivable reason for doing so. Plus, I remember the pilot opened with a shot of her smoking a cigarette, the pose enigmatic. Simple framing can sometimes give it away.

I've wondered if a movie who-dun-it could work better if the director/editors didn't know the screenwriter's outcome until after they finished the rest of the picture, save the reveal. It would require a perfectly honed script with well-crafted misdirection, but given strong enough red herrings and a well-earned conclusion, the final product could prove quite interesting. Then again, it may not work at all and if you already had those things, then it may not even matter who in the production knows the end. It's probably too expensive an experiment for a studio to try.

[jcarterla]

01:51 PM on 05/11/2011

Kudos for the Twin Peaks catch. On a show where Josie turned into a doorknob and little people talk backwards forward, it could get quite confusing. I live in LA and often encounter celebrities. It is often of no consequence to me. One night I was at a club and the guy who played the man from another place was there. It was the first time I have ever been star struck.

[jokamachi]

10:15 PM on 05/11/2011

I call BS on that. Sorry, but I think Lynch went out of his way to obscure the father.

[Pandoras Folly]

03:10 PM on 05/11/2011

yea my wife has put me on no talking restrictions because I will tell her what is going to happen scene by scene in movies and tv shows. at first it was have you seen this before? then it was how do you know those things? now its don't you dare open your mouth! go to tvtropes .com it explains every possible dramatic combination ever and gives examples.

[Just walkin the dog here]

08:03 PM on 05/11/2011

Yeah, me too. I'm not allowed to provide conjecture. I just eat my popcorn and try to stay interested.

[chesscub]

11:32 AM on 05/12/2011

Run away from tvtropes.com if you're at work! You will lose all track of time.

[luisroman]

01:18 PM on 05/11/2011

Excellent work - it will make it much easier to figure things out in the future