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Celebrities On Marriage: Is It Obsolete?

Huffington Post     First Posted: 05/26/11 01:36 PM ET   Updated: 07/26/11 06:12 AM ET

Marriage, once viewed as mandatory, is just one of many lifestyle options in today's anything-goes society. Couples are living together for long stretches, and even having kids together, before they get married--if they choose to get married at all (recent census data even attributes the recent small decline in the divorce rate to, among other factors, a rise in couples cohabitating).

Celebrities are reflecting these changing values--and not just Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, who seemed to have thumbed their noses at the institution long ago. Many more have expressed their profound ambivalence towards marriage as of late, which should come as no surprise: after all, what group is better poised to contemplate the meaning of marriage than one defined by on-again, off-again engagements and multiple divorces? Here, seven celebrities who have offered up their opinions on the subject.


Cameron Diaz
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In May 2011, Cameron Diaz told Maxim magazine that things with on-again, off-again boyfriend Alex Rodriguez are "awesome," but she also confided that she thinks marriage is a dying institution. "I think we have to make our own rules. I don't think we should live our lives in relationships based off of old traditions that don't suit our world any longer," said the star.
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Marriage, once viewed as mandatory, is just one of many lifestyle options in today's anything-goes society. Couples are living together for long stretches, and even having kids together, before they g...
Marriage, once viewed as mandatory, is just one of many lifestyle options in today's anything-goes society. Couples are living together for long stretches, and even having kids together, before they g...
 
 
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10:16 PM on 06/14/2011
The fact that so many of these celebrities DID get married weakens their argument considerably. Maybe they feel talking about marriage as though it's quaint makes them sound very modern. Maybe they feel as though they're saving face in the event they get dumped / divorced ("I never believed in marriage anyway").

I respect people's choices -- whether the choice is to get married, stay single, sustain a relationship without "tying the knot," or any of the other variants. But why label some choices as "outdated" and others as "progressive"? What I do think is getting phased out is marrying very young (in your late teens or early twenties). We live longer now, so the younger you get married, the longer you're committing yourself to stay faithful. You're also more likely to grow apart. Personally, I think guys should wait till their mid-thirties before committing matrimony! (kidding...)
10:18 PM on 06/14/2011
*staying faithful*
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04:42 PM on 06/16/2011
30, is a great time to be married!
05:37 PM on 06/11/2011
Marriage is an artificial burden that causes artificial misery, as Dr. Keith Ablow noted, it's probably one of the major causes of depression in this country.

Certainly it's hard not to notice that the happiest men and women we see are the ones who have not married, and what's really striking is that this is become true regardless of age now.

We're in a transitional period, just like sloughing off segregation, where the old guard will bitterly fight to keep people in line, but happily it won't work. Look abroad to Northern Europe, where marriage rates are the lowest in the world, and where people are also the happiest in the world (easy to verify at nationmaster.com and other statistical sources). Less marriage = more human happiness and achievement.
06:21 PM on 06/10/2011
The problem is they have all of seven celebrities who all declare marriage unnecessary. Do they speak for all of Hollywood? I doubt it. Marriage is seen as obselete because people are too selfish and too easily swayed by feelings to honor their commitments.
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08:52 PM on 06/02/2011
Marriage, like monogamy, is a relic of the past.

The only reason most people still subscribe to them is due to tradition, domestication, and submissive conformity to societal standards.

Sure if a person ends up falling in love and wants to be exclusive with them that is their choice. However, it should happen organically and not be forced through archaic rituals. Hang out with people if one enjoys their company keep hanging out with them. If one finds them irritating or not stimulating then let the relationship go it's course. The unnecessary complication of human interactions is ridiculous.
11:40 PM on 06/01/2011
The list is incomplete without Bill Maher
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judi9694
04:19 PM on 06/01/2011
Really, marriage is for families. 50% of all marriages end in divorce, celebrities or not. Marriage is obsolete because it doesn't work anymore. It probably never worked so well, it's just that people didn't have as many options as they do now. It doesn't mean they are better off and for some reason they always try to hook up again. But the statistics show that 2nd and 3rd marriages are more likely to end in divorce than 1st marriages. It's is no longer the go to life style. It's perfect for some and not so perfect for others. There are many arrangements people can have with each other. Take note from other cultures.
02:04 PM on 06/01/2011
I agree with the other posts- what qualifications do "stars" have to make comments on marriage and why would any reasonable person care? If they want to opine on lighting, makeup- what angles are best, how to read scripts- I'm in- but on marriage? Hollywood is not where I would seek out objective comments about marriage. That's like asking the dog if he thinks there's too much poop in the catbox.
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Barbara Lee
01:17 PM on 06/01/2011
I really don't care what a celebrity says about what they want to do. If you want to get married then do so; if you don't that's cool too. Not everybody is cut out for such an institution anyway. I think the main thing that has changed about marriage is people's view of how mandatory it is and also how it functions within society in general. In my opinion not every relationship can, or should lead to marriage. If certain things are not hitting on all the necessary points that are required to make a marriage work and last its probably best not to get married. I also think that some people are just too about themselves to be with somebody longterm. Marriage is fine for those who want to do it, but for those who don't I say more power to them. At least they are honest and not wasting somebody's time.
10:03 PM on 05/31/2011
Why does society pay any attention to these so called "stars" spewing a lot of drivel about marriage? As a group, their divorce rate is astronomical compared to the rest of society. The reason is obvious - they fall in "love" based on externals - beautiful face, nice legs, curves etc. Until a more beautiful woman or a more handsome man comes along.
09:56 PM on 05/31/2011
Marriage has always been obsolete for movie stars. Movie stars overwhelmingly tend to be immature, self centered, (narcisistic), as well as being behind the curve on overall intellegence. This is not to say say that everyone else is normal. There are definitely people everywhere who are not well equipped to be married.
04:21 PM on 05/31/2011
Ricky has the right idea, and said it best.
12:49 PM on 05/31/2011
I have a friend who had been with the same man for over 40 years (yes, 40 years) before they got married. In those years, they did not have children and felt they didn't need a piece of paper to define the depth of their commitment. Even the day before they married, she thought there would be absolutely no difference. Afterwards, she was very surprised. She said it was difficult to describe, but that the minute they married there was this even deeper feeling of commitment and family. FWIW.
01:42 AM on 05/31/2011
"I think that while I would be a catch for many men, I like to date guys who "outrank" me, so by the rules of ladder theory, they refuse to commit to me with a ring. As a result, I will generalize about the institution of marriage and suggest that it's obsolete for everyone else, regardless of the circumstances of their lives and relationships."
12:35 AM on 05/31/2011
Actors, who are not philosophers, but who have tremoundous influence, should not opine about marriage like this. The problem is that people are more selfish than ever before and don't understand that happiness in life comes from committing yourself to others. A marriage is an example of this. This thing reminds me of the book, The Unbearable Lightness of Being. The point of the book is that if you go through life not taking any heavy burdens, life is unbearable. But if you commit to others and take on heavy burdens through commitment, life is very light. One could argue that marriage is not necessary, because of birth control and woman in the workplace as though the reason for marriage is about taking care of the woman after you impregnate her. The point is about committing to another through the trials and tribulations of life. When an actor is on top, the person may think they don't need anyone. But when these actors lose their looks and the studios quit calling, they might need some stability in their lives, which can be from a spouse.
12:25 AM on 05/31/2011
Sure, you don't have to get married. Marriages can end in an ugly way. And, at some point, people in marriages get bored. But that's just life. Many divorces aren't horrible (I can't point to my parents') and even lead to better situations. And some marriages are absolutely happy. But many marriages have their good points and bad points. But for those of us with steady marriages, the stability sustains us and gives us confidence. It gives us honor when we commit to someone even in bad times. And having somewhere there in our last days is a blessing. My understanding is that single mothers have a hard time. With a partnership, that's not so hard.