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The 2012 Speculatron Weekly Roundup For May 27, 2011

First Posted: 05/27/11 07:07 PM ET   Updated: 07/27/11 06:12 AM ET

When the week began, political pundits were all a-twitter with the news that Mitch Daniels -- the guy who every conservative with a newspaper column had gravitated to for some reason as the person who would "save" the GOP primary field -- was not going to run in the 2012 primary. Probably because he thought David Brooks was creepy. But also because he didn't want his wife to be the focus of opposition researchers. And with that, many proclaimed the GOP field as being set.

And there was, as you might expect, much lamentation over the choices, despite the fact that when you looked at the field, it pretty much comprised every variety of Republican candidate you could name. It had technocrat capitalists (Romney) and well-known governors (Pawlenty) and throwback relics (Gingrich) and Tea Party kooks (Bachmann) and nutlog religious zealots (Santorum) and libertarian icons (Paul) and kindly RINOs (Huntsman) and a dude who made pizza-pies (Cain). What was the field missing? A guy who lactated pure Reagan blood? Who could command bald eagles into battle? Whose rough hands bore the burns of the fire in which Old Glory was forged? I suppose so. And apparently, Mitch Daniels was capable of doing all of these things. (He was also capable of helping President George W. Bush create big deficits!)

Nevertheless, those lamentations rung out across the land, pinging from city to town, sounding out across every alley and byway, resounding in every hill and valley, until they reached the ears of one very special 2012 prospect. Some call her Trixie Klondyke. Some refer to her only as the Snowbilly Grifter. The rest of us know her as Sarah Palin -- one-time vice presidential candidate, some-time Alaska governor, full-time troller of the Internets.

Palin, as reliable a producer of political pseudo-events as ever there was, started making some very loud presidential noises. And she announced that she was going on a bus tour of the East Coast. And a million political reporters suddenly had to cancel their plans for Memorial Day. Does any of this mean that she's running for President? No, but consider this: None of this doesn't mean that she's not running for President either. So ponder that.

Beyond all that, new polling numbers came out and revealed that even though Mitt Romney and Palin were still the frontrunners, Herman Cain was starting to gain traction. Meanwhile, Newt Gingrich saw his standing free-fall after last week's epic Seven Days Of Failure. Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann continued to dance around making an announcement. Tim Pawlenty tried to get some attention. And the field still stirred for a savior -- Rick Perry perhaps? Thad McCotter? Paul Ryan?

Could YOU be the candidate the GOP is looking for? If you think you are, email me your resume and I'll pass it along to Reince Priebus or something! In the meanwhile, please feel free to enter the Speculatron for the week of May 27, 2011.

Michele Bachmann
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At the end of a week of confusion swirling around Michele Bachmann's plans for 2012, the conservative congresswoman said felt a "calling" to vie for the GOP presidential nomination.

Last week, we had reason to believe that Bachmann was going to make a midweek announcement that she too was running and gunning for White House glory. Now, it seems she'll hold off until June. Why the wait? Remember, she is taking her cues from the Lord Himself about what she's going to do and who she's going to hire and what towns that ended up in Massachusetts should have really been in New Hampshire. (Mostly, I think God is just cold messing with her.)

She plans to make her announcement in Waterloo, Iowa. And I know, I know, you're probably thinking, "Isn't that going to have some grave connotations? Well, Waterloo happens to be the town in which she was born. And as for the historic ramifications of Waterloo, Belgium, I'm pretty sure that Bachmann thinks that's the town in which ABBA first formed. Just let her go with that. And if you want her in this race, give her some scrilla, people! Her first big money-bomb was something of a bust. (Bachmann is actually one of the best fundraisers in the race, she just hasn't figured out that you can't have a successful money-bomb without giving people a lot of advance notice.)

So no new news on that front, true believers! But hey, you remember how this high school sophomore named Amy Myers had challenged Michele Bachmann to a debate, because she figured stood a better than even chance in besting her in a brain battle on elementary facts on the Constitution? Yeah, well Bachmann's fans responded to this by doing what they do best. Per ThinkProgress:

Unfortunately, it seems some Bachmann fans haven't taken Myers' challenge kindly and are now threatening the teenage girl with violence:

"After it started getting media attention last weekend, commenters on tea party websites have threatened to publish her home address and some have threatened violence.

The 16-year-old from Cherry Hill says several commenters have called her a "whore."

Her father, Wayne, says he's concerned for his daughter's safety."

The Cherry Hill Courier Press reports that others "threatened violence, including rape" and that "several commenters threatened t
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When the week began, political pundits were all a-twitter with the news that Mitch Daniels -- the guy who every conservative with a newspaper column had gravitated to for some reason as the person who...
When the week began, political pundits were all a-twitter with the news that Mitch Daniels -- the guy who every conservative with a newspaper column had gravitated to for some reason as the person who...
 
 
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COMMUNITY PUNDITS
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supergenius02 06:02 PM on 05/28/2011
Once again I have to educate the uneducated liberals on the Truth that it is too early to determine the strength of the GOP field. To illustrate what can happen in a year, we have to remember that while black voters overwhelming supported Obama at the polls in 2008, that was not the case in 2007 when they overwhelming supported Hillary Clinton: "Hillary Clinton is overwhelmingly popular with black voters,  Read More...
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jo Le Tiel
writer and stuff
05:10 PM on 06/04/2011
I wanna make millions putting my feet in my mouth, too. The occasional Palin supporter always points to her ability to get money. Sure, this is a skill. But bank robbers do it, too. The clip of her telling her version of the Paul Revere story is quite bizarre. What's wrong with her?
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OleLadySquawking
'Trickled' on since 1987!
03:49 PM on 06/04/2011
Palin's already created the image of a loser, she quit the job she was elected to do, with absolutely no reasonable excuse, only the one she made up in her own mind. If she had vowed to pay back the citizens of Alaska for all the legal bills, even if it took the rest of her life and then stayed in office, I would've had a smidgen of respect for her today.

She wasn't capable of walking and chewing gum at the same time during her perceived crisis in Alaska. How in the world do people think that she could do it on the world stage?
03:49 PM on 06/04/2011
God said: "Run, Michelle, Run. But you're going to lose."
zatonoichi
the blind swordsman
04:09 PM on 06/04/2011
I'll believe that Michelle is for real when I see the stigmata. In the meanwhile, she's nailing herself to her own cross.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Hamletrules
'Brevity is the soul of wit' W.S
03:35 PM on 06/04/2011
Sarah's grasp of History reminds me of why we need More Education not less. Every time she opens her mouth you just never know what's going to come out.

Did you not read the Plaque at the site, it might have helped Don'tcha know.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
OleLadySquawking
'Trickled' on since 1987!
03:51 PM on 06/04/2011
Can you imagine what her daughter Piper is learn'in on their "magical bust" tour? Other than how to muscle reporters out of her mother's way?
03:28 PM on 06/04/2011
"Hey British, we're coming ... Hey British, we're coming", Sarah Palin should consider a career in stand up comedy :)
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Gestas
Mountain Man
03:28 PM on 06/04/2011
Sarah looks good in that WWII Helmet...She can tell you all WWII... She thinks thats the one we fought with the Indians because they were opening abortion clinics...and trying to take away our guns.
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time2impeach
Send Justice CT packin'
03:23 PM on 06/04/2011
I just wish Sarah had explained the "One if by Lamb, two if by Seal" part. I never understood that. Did they even have seals in Massachusetts?
03:12 PM on 06/04/2011
Sarah Palin = The Kim Kardashian of politics. Famous for nothing else, but being famous. I will apologize in advance to Kim Kardashian for the comparison to Sarah Palin.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Hamletrules
'Brevity is the soul of wit' W.S
03:12 PM on 06/04/2011
Sarah to kids:

Okay kids Ready on three, 123 And the wheels of the Bus go Flop,Flop,Flop, Round and Round, Flop ,Flop,Flop...
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jujub
Festina Lente
02:54 PM on 06/04/2011
The Republican Debates will allow citizens to call in and place their votes for their favorite Idol.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
oscartucker
"Let us march on til victory is won."
03:42 PM on 06/04/2011
"favorite I--d--i--o--t"
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jujub
Festina Lente
04:15 PM on 06/04/2011
Fanned!
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Mattie
My Daddy taught me to beware the good Christian
02:33 PM on 06/04/2011
Tea baggers are even more disgusting than I imagined. Threatening to rape a 16 year old girl, because she challenged a grown woman to a debate on history. What is wrong with all you good christian baggers. Seriously, I know a lot of you baggers come here to defend these clown candidates, please explain to me how it's ok to threaten violence against a 16 year old girl who wanted to debate your candidate. Are you guys ok with that.
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time2impeach
Send Justice CT packin'
03:31 PM on 06/04/2011
Thank you. F
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jkanon
A pragmatic progressive
02:19 PM on 06/04/2011
Bachmann got her "calling" through her hair dryer. She heard voices whispering run, run, run.....
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
carmenalex
!Mamá caliente humanista!
02:18 PM on 06/04/2011
Bachmann followers are crazed so called christian animals. A young girl wants to debate her and the kooks respond with threatening to rape and kill her....how nice. Proud of your constituents Bachmann?
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amaboss52
I think, therefore I am, I think?
01:57 PM on 06/04/2011
So Bachmans "Christian" fans are threatening a 10th grader? How very Christian like these Christians are. Bachman's fans fear she'll be bested by a 17 year old girl, who knows more about probably everything than Bachman does. The republican base is asignorant, lame and nasty as their dear leader.
01:55 PM on 06/04/2011
Jared Laughner also heard voices...can the veracity of M.B. be questioned? How long after she's elected will they come for you?
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
MDhome
life is a paradox
03:01 PM on 06/04/2011
I hope they come for her before she runs.
04:19 PM on 06/04/2011
They will only come for her to let her know that she is now a living goddess. The elite are untouchable. Not even insider trading is illegal to them.
I wonder how long before domestic diplomatic immunity becomes law?